You know what annoys us the most about the modern world? That a company like Panasonic can launch a new product, spend tens and possibly even hundreds of thousands of pounds on developing and promoting it, with the end result being…

…a rubbish YouTube video that’s gained 23 views three days after being uploaded. Dear Panasonic, we could do better than that for a retainer of £50 a day. Consider that a binding written offer.

Genius table placement. The lower the table, the lower they have to bend. The lower they have to bend, the better the photo opportunity.

Here’s the Samsung Wave.

Not particularly interested in the phone, as it uses Samsung’s BADA operating system. We know a bit more about mobile operating systems these days, we are sad to report.

Bloody hell, this is not pleasant. Viewer discretion is advised when watching the Bloggie promotional video of fashionable youths poncing about on mopeds and waveboards, then having a party at which everyone compares hair products and whose styling product has lasted best throughout the rigorous day.

NEEDS SMASHING IN THE: Face.

NEEDS SMASHING IN THE: Bottom.

NEEDS SMASHING IN THE: Bottom, bottom.

And that’s how stupid you look holding a camera with a 360-degree lens on the top of it. How does one even go about playing back and watching a 360-degree video?

With thanks to “Scott” for bravely browsing through hellish world of Sony product pages.

Not in so many words, but that’s clearly the implication of this publicity communication:

Yes, it’ll be a comedy all right. Not romantic, just a comedy.

Here’s horrible but also quite nice in certain ways Hollywood star Megan Fox. She’s using a mobile phone in the bath. This film was broadcast during the Superbowl last night, as a public safety announcement about what not to do with your expensive new mobile phone.

Hopefully there’s a racier European edit of the advert, in which she films herself soaping up using the Devour’s 3megapixel camera sensor.

Last night’s iPad launch was the finest episode of APPLE PRETENDS TO INVENT yet. It was the blockbuster, feature-length season finale of APPLE PRETENDS TO INVENT, in which Apple pulled out all the stops and pretended to invent… pretty much everything.

Including but not limited to:

- The Internet

- Web pages

- Video games

- Laptop computers

- Books

- Magazines

- Online video

It was incredible seeing Steve Jobs sitting there with his iPad, saying “It’s amazing being able to sit here and access the internet!” in a really enthusiastic voice, like he was mainly trying to convince himself or like he’d completely missed out on ever seeing a laptop or modern mobile phone.

And still no multitasking? People use laptops all the time nowadays, Steve, even women do this with EASE, with MSN, Twitter clients, web pages, MP3 players, streaming music services and the like all open at once – if the iPad can’t do that, it’s even more of a step backwards than most Apple products.

And remember this? No. Exactly. Seeing experienced tech people saying iPad is a “game changer” today is a bit cringeworthy. It’s a hobbled laptop, or a phone too big to bother taking outside. At least it’s not $1999.

Had one of these. We’re quite bored of having to ironically pretend everything we had as a child was good, but Bigtrak WAS good. Especially after the subsequent Christmas when we got the trailer attachment.

It got left out in the garden and went haywire, refusing to obey commands, so had to be smashed up and buried. According to Pocket-Lint, Biggie will be back this summer, for 30 quid.

Look at it. Look at how quirky it is. Nothing says “I’m a bit quirky, I am” more than buying a mass produced product from a major international corporation.

Plus that orange one will be discounted to half its RRP inside a month, bringing it well within our price bracket.

Looks like it’s some sort of spray paint toy.

We can only image the sort of miserable “Free the Creativity within you” sort of positive affirmation messages that are going to accompany this nonsense.

The photo doesn’t look much like her. There’s a lot of barrel distortion on the face and a clear purple border

Interesting finger arrangement, though. We can’t even begin to guess if that’s her left hand or her right hand.