Yes, we still have so little to do that receiving an email from Apple about its new Valentine Day promotions is exciting, just in case there’s a new Specialist.

And today, there is.

Looks a bit rough. Doubt they’ll let this one meet customers at the ‘Genius Bar’. He looks like a backstage box-shifter. “Take this lady’s MacBook out to the car, please, Dave”.

Apple will be having a mildly Gothic Christmas this year.

Stripy elbow sheathes? Is that what’s cool with the alternate-lifestyle kids these days?

Finally! Some new Apple specialists! A red one, a blue one and one who’s so high up the corporate ladder he’s allowed to wear whatever he wants as long as it’s smart.

Yeah, sorry, didn’t say they would be any good. But you’ve had more than enough “good” to look at recently, so consider this PAYBACK from ANGRY DADDY.

Definitely have a video in which the one on the right makes the one on the left cry. Think it was coincidentally also called “One 2 One” or something along those lines.

How’s this for a new idea for a thing to do ?

Imagine how gutted you’d be. The initial joy of that CRISP, clear digital LCD clock would be smashed into a thousand pieces when you finally fish that sorry excuse of a remote control out of the bottom of the box. It’s such a rubbish remote, you might almost throw it away thinking it’s just a bit of padding.

There’s potential for at least three Gadgets with DISAPPOINTING REMOTE CONTROLS updates before we get bored of it and forget all about it.

DOUBLE TEAM! Although the photograph is a bit too sterile to imagine them doing anything of a sexual nature together.

We are unsure as to the meaning of these newer, darker blue t-shirts.

And wouldn’t it be nicer if they’d localised the name and called it the “Apple Shop” in the UK?

How extremely apt. Sadly for Brighton, this event is not deemed exciting enough for Apple to bust out any new in-store photography. We have just learned the people in the orange t-shirts are called the in-store “concierge” though. This five minutes has not been a complete write-off.

It’s here, where the crack-heads from the North of the city uncomfortably meet with the web designers from the South in one huge mass of styled hair.

Another new Apple specialist. Clearly Apple’s latest product line refresh also came with a bit of budget for photography. If you are one of our six confirmed female readers he is going to be your favourite.

His name has to be “Steve” and women often go into the Apple store to ask him questions they already know the answers to, like “Can I play all kinds of music on it?” and “Does the telephone work like a normal telephone?”

Steve then says “Sure, let me show you” and moves in really close to demonstrate the correct operation of the ladies’ iPhones and iPods. He is so used to being around women and close to women that it’s not even a big thing for him.

We are not jealous, we just naturally know not to bother looking up from the ground if there are any Steves around.