Oh yes, no one’s got their cock out.

And grandma isn’t licking her own tits. No idea what bizarre alternate internet the Skype office is connected to.

The one on the right looks like she’s a minor television celebrity in the region, while the one on the left is probably a competition winner. No offence.

She might be the head of marketing for LG EMEA, perhaps, as that would explain the expensive shoes.

The one on the right wins here, as she knows how to get Android 2.1 out of its screensaver mode. That’s properly advanced tech know-how.

The Duke of Westminster regularly manages to guzzle down a whole pint. He’s been put on a special high-protein diet.

Not quite as arousing as Pixie Lott’s milk moustache, but it’s probably aimed at an entirely different demographic.

Duke of Westminster launches dairy farmer campaign

LANCASHIRE MILKMEN FIGHT BACK

The Duke of Westminster has officially launched the Love Milk Love Local campaign at Holme Farm Dairies in Lancashire.

The campaign, devised by Penwortham based Holme Farm Dairies, a family run milk processor with 30 milkmen servicing the Lancashire region, aims to reassure customers that the milk delivered to their doorstep is from a farm in their region.

Jonathan Simpson, owner of Holme Farm Dairies comments: “Food seems to come from all over the world these days, and you never quite know what you’re getting. Here at Holme Farm Dairies we wanted to reassure local people that they are getting milk from local cows, bottled by a local company and delivered to the doorstep in time for breakfast.

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Canon is still insisting on spending HUGE amounts of cash on putting together these bizarre “fashion” shoots for its new cameras. We’ve never seen one anywhere. Apart from on here.

We’re not complaining. It’s nice that Canon spends £20k on a photoshoot so we can look at dresses to see if they’re see-though or not.

It would be much easier to do that if you just put the camera down on the sink. No wait, that’s too much of a risk. Carry on. As you were.

We think Photoshop Disasters would have something to say about that reflection.

She’s got her cigarettes in her other hand and her mobile phone taped to her thigh.

Imagine the fun of sitting around this, prodding pale white tubes of fat and grey circles of mashed-up veins, while England spend the last 35 minutes of the last group match hoof increasingly desperate longballs up the field in the hope of magically scoring a goal.

Oh yes, that was a football reference. We like to annoy football people by only liking football once every four years. They hate that even more than when you say you only watch Match of the Day because Frank Lampard’s “A nice bit of rough”.

Cook up a World Cup Footy Feast with Bar-Be-Quick’s Instant World Cup Party Barbecue

Celebrate this summer’s World Cup with the whole family – and a squad of friends and neighbours – by cooking up a footy feast to remember! Luckily Bar-Be-Quick has made it easy for you with its limited edition Instant World Cup Party Barbecue.

Now you can create a fabulous football crazy party with hassle-free cooking and no messy clearing up – a winning combination. Whether you are watching the football on TV at home or re-living the excitement with a kickabout at the park or the beach, Bar-Be-Quick’s Instant World Cup Party Barbecue will really get the party started.

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We don’t know much about semiconductors, but they usually seem to be handled by robots in sterile environments.

Basically, she’s ruined this one.

And this is the air conditioning unit repairman. Looks like the sort of man you can’t wait to get rid of, while you stand there, nodding and smiling on the outside, while on the inside imagining yourself knocking him out with one punch.

It tells a story. No idea what story. Image #4 will probably involve panic, image #5 blood.

It’s your choice.

Trousered, for publicity purposes in conservative countries and the Middle-East.

A costume change for us.

And just the chair, for the Argos catalogue, or whatever the Korean equivalent of the Argos catalogue is.

Another odd lighting-based set of promotional photographs from Philips, featuring a woman who’s definitely ‘phoning it in’ today from the confines of her recently painted warehouse conversion.

Faces on both tray AND lampshade, as if they’re having a conversation with each other. Which is why she’s feeling left out and is looking around for someone else to talk to as she hasn’t got much in common with the sort of things trays and lampshades talk about.

This one doesn’t seem to have a product in it at all, unless Philips has branched out into laminates and laminate-based furnishings, or huge mirrors. If that even is a mirror. Everything’s a lie these days, isn’t it?

Looks like Philips is following LG’s lead in the POWER SPHERE field, with the arrival of this ominous, looming presence – which is something to do with a ‘Living Colours’ idea.

INITIAL IMPRESSION: Possibly a bit too invasive for everyday home use.

Light bulbs. Something to do with new kinds of light bulbs. Light bulbs you spend £39.99 on in the hope you save 0.01p per year on electricity.

Hope that’s his woman he’s looking at, and he’s not taking advantage of the other man being distracted by the beer to have a look at his woman.

This lampshade comes with a built-in multi-directional wireless HD video camera.