“Er, my name’s, er, my name’s G… G… my name is G… G… I should be down under G… G…”

And so on. This update is 75% autobiographical and set in the year 1997.

These bloody sexy phone chat specialists. Always bugging us for a quiet chat about possible upgrade deals.

This one is the Phones4U one. Frankly we doubt she’s really up on all the latest SIM-free contracts and data transfer allowance variations, unless she’s been very well trained or is channelling the words of someone else through a BlueTooth headset.

But this WAS NOT A SWICTH! We got connected to a lady! We then panicked, took a screencapture and closed the window. If you want to try talking to Katy, she popped up on this page.

So there we were, idly browsing the Vodafone UK site for possible NEXT NEW PHONES, when up pops the chance to engage in a bit of live, one-to-one chat with what must surely be the most attractive call centre operative working in the UK today:

Oh yes please! Tell us all about the Nexus One and Vodafone’s upgrade packages!

Then we got connected to “Mike”. Bastards. Try going here and seeing who you get. Bet it’ll be Mike again.

You know what annoys us the most about the modern world? That a company like Panasonic can launch a new product, spend tens and possibly even hundreds of thousands of pounds on developing and promoting it, with the end result being…

…a rubbish YouTube video that’s gained 23 views three days after being uploaded. Dear Panasonic, we could do better than that for a retainer of £50 a day. Consider that a binding written offer.

His new one comes with the ability to send 140-character text messages via sub-carrier to any ship in the fleet.

Pressing the red X button makes him die. Typical glaring Imperial design flaw.

The one on the left. The one on the right is just the prototype based on the inventor. She looks scared and uncomfortable, which is excellent realism.

More here. WARNING: That’s a link to The Sun. They say “she” can talk, hopefully a firmware update will soon fix that ARE WE RIGHT FELLAS? HELL YES. STUPID COWS.

Better get one of these, then. Hopefully it come pre-installed with some jokes.

That ludicrous quote up-top is taken from another HTC lifestyle masterpiece, in which terms like “different moods in your daily self” and “fit your unique style and daily needs” are used in what appears to be a serious fashion.

A man sent this in. He thought it would just about be acceptable as it’s from a place that might sell gadgets. And there’s also a man holding what could be an iPhone in the smaller photo.

Compared with that photo of the garden with a face, this is SPOT ON.

“I stumbled across this blog post and thought you’d like it, it can just about be linked to technology, as it’s a photo from a Chinese mall, I expect they sell fake iPhones there or something” – Keith.

Here is/was a great idea for that person you care so little about you can’t even be bothered going to ASDA to buy them the cheapest chocolates they’ve got that come in a box – GiveChrome.

Google Chrome is the Extra-Last default browser. It’s nice using something that only works 90% of the time, but when it does work, it’s very fast – it’s like piloting the Millennium Falcon through an asteroid field of Flash errors.

“Here, I clicked on the least-gaudy virtual wrapping paper for you”.

Dad hasn’t phoned to say thanks yet, which is odd as he usually calls on Boxing Day.

UPDATE:
Thanks, you are too kind.

Sounds like a good and possibly even fun way to get outside and away from family members for a few hours, until you see the stabilisers. Chariot Skates require stabilisers. They require stabilisers so badly the stabilisers have to be built in.

They are therefore as XTREME as shuffling your armchair a little bit further forwards so you can see the repeat of Only Fools and Horses better.

More facts and videos of people in a perpetual state of about to break their wrists over at the Chariot Skates site.