Part of Japan bans Grand Theft Auto

Associated Press:
TOKYO - A state in Japan has decided to ban a U.S. video game from being sold or rented to minors, after officials deemed it harmful and capable of inciting violence.

"Grand Theft Auto III," produced by U.S.-based Rockstar Games Inc., was introduced in Japan in September 2003 and has sold about 350,000 copies. It depicts random killing sprees in public places, cars being blown up and other acts of violence that officials fear teens might try to mimic, said Takahito Hayashi, a child welfare official.

The game will receive a "harmful" product label in Kanagawa prefecture, or state, where retailers will be barred from selling or renting the game to anyone under age 18. The game also will have to be displayed separately from other titles, he said

While other products have faced similar restrictions due to explicit sexual content, it is the first time Japan has placed such measures on game software because of violence, Hayashi said.

Osaka-based Capcom Co. Ltd., which distributes the game in Japan, refused to comment.

Kanagawa prefecture, just south of Tokyo, includes major cities like Yokohama and Kawasaki.

Swedish man holding a thing!

Nah, it's rubbish when men do it.



He's holding a Nokia 770, the widescreen, 800x480, networked, wireless, internet-accessing and extremely desirable Linux-powered tablet thing.

There's a great Nokia 770 gallery here: Nokia 770 Gallery (MobileBurn). It looks well sweet, blood!

Come on VJ play my video -- Pioneer DVJ X1 DVD video decks

Students that are also DJs -- our least favourite demographic by miles -- will be delighted to take their pretentious musical ambitions one step further with the DVJ X1 DVD video mixing console from Pioneer.

"DVJs will also be able to use the DVJ-X1 to manipulate DVD visuals in exactly the same way as they would music" says the official spec, impressively, but probably exaggerating somewhat.



Oh. It's two and a half grand. Never mind.

Video Jockey - Pioneer - DVJ X1 DVD - VJ player - decks.co.uk.

GoToMyPC goes to your Mac

The ultra-cool GoToMyPC -- an app that lets you access and control any PC through a network -- is rumoured to be coming to Mac.

This isn't particularly exciting news, but we're trying to learn to be nicer about Macs.

Citrix GoToMyPC mulls GoToMyMac - Computer Business Review

Intel prepares Mac Mini rip-off

"Working prototypes of the Mac mini look-alike running Microsoft Windows and based on Intel's Pentium M CPU have already been built by Taiwan PC maker AOpen at Intel's request"

Wired News: Intel Preps Mac Mini Look-Alike.

Mobile theft crimewave

700,000 mobiles are stolen in the UK every year -- now UK goverment moves to make "reprogramming" nicked ones more of a crime.

Guardian Unlimited | Online | Curb on mobile unblockers to cut crime wave.

Star Trek XI in the works, all-new cast expected...

...but the abysmal Nemesis stopped us caring about Star Trek any more :(

TrekToday - Rick Berman: Trek XI In Two Or Three Years.

Samsung Digimax V700 Review

Not by us, obviously. That would've required (a) blagging one, or (b) buying one, then (c) spending ages using it and thinking up opinions about it then having to write them all down.

Instead, read the full review of Samsung's Digimax V700 -- its first widely-available 7.1 megapixel digital camera -- over at Digital Photography Review.



They know about things like what exposure settings do and stuff. It's a quite beautiful piece of reviewing, especially as they're doing it for free on the internet.

Samsung Digimax V700 Review.

German woman holding a thing!

It's the craze that's still sweeping the world!

It's the T-Mobile Sidekick II, now in PINK because it's for GIRLS.



It's just launched in Germany, hence the extremely German-looking woman holding it.

Datexx PVR30T -- photo review!

"Ken and his lovely assistant Krista used the Pavio at the office, in the park, Jacuzzi and bed"

Man reviews 30Gb hard drive media player using lumpen girlfriend as illustration!



Safe for work :(

Words: I4U News - Datexx Pavio PVR30T 30GB Portable Video Player and Recorder Review.

Pictures: I4U Photo Gallery: datexx pavio bed1.

Siemens C75 -- "influenced by" Sony Ericsson K700

By "influenced by" we mean "shamelessly ripped off the design of the..." with the new Siemens C75 looking almost exactly the same as the Sony Ericsson shiny-one-with-a-big-screen K700 and K750 cellphones.

Look:



See? It supports GSM Triband network, has a disappointing VGA resolution camera and 65k color screen. It's out in August, coming in two colours -- "Palladium" and "Light Silver." Silver, then.

This probably won't be our next phone, unless we get one for free. Which we won't. *shakes imaginary fist at Phones4U*

Intel goes with DRM -- we'll be converting to Mac

The next generation of home PCs will come with DRM -- digital rights management -- controls built-in.

Thanks to the world's favourite chip supplier Intel, the vast majority of future PCs will have DRM imbedded in its new Pentium D range thanks to the emerging anti-piracy measure.

Microsoft is happy, the RIAA is happy, we don't understand the implications of it but are already considering buying a Mac :(

Digit Online news - Intel quietly adds DRM to new chips.

Star Wars: Episode III -- Hidden "Easter Eggs" revealed

Hey look. George Lucas is now so old and boring that all he can think of doing to make a film actually interesting is put obscure references to his old films in them. Like he's done in bore-a-thon Revenge of the Sith.

This will make more people buy the DVDs so they can examine every frame. That is the only reason for it.

Star Wars: Episode III | Episode III Easter Egg Hunt

iPod generation "going deaf" says Yank mag

Oh wait, it's OK -- they only mean Americans.

NEW YORK, May 29 /PRNewswire/ -- More than 28 million Americans currently have some degree of hearing loss, from mild to severe, and the number is expected to soar in the coming years-reaching an astounding 78 million by 2030, Newsweek reports in its June 6 cover story (on newsstands Monday, May 30). While that looming surge is mostly a baby-boomer phenomenon, the threat of hearing loss-and the need for prevention-isn't limited to a single age group. One study estimates that as many as 5.2 million children in the U.S. between 6 and 19 have some hearing damage from amplified music and other sources. If they don't take steps to protect their hearing, the iPod Generation faces the same fate as the Woodstock Generation. Or worse, writes Senior Editor David Noonan.



"We're seeing hearing loss from noise develop at an earlier age than we used to," says Dr. Jennifer Derebery, immediate past president of the American Academy of Otolaryngology-Head and Neck Surgery. "It's a huge problem." The good news: though hearing loss can't be reversed, reducing your exposure to excessive noise, like quitting cigarettes, can improve your health and quality of life, no matter your age.

NEWSWEEK COVER: 'How To Keep Your Hearing'

iPod stats!

4/10 UK people own an MP3 player of some sort.

Men have twice as many tracks stored as women.

Street crime has TRIPLED because of people stealing them off other people.

More exciting MP3 facts here.

'Happy Slapping' outrage reaches broadsheets

From this week's Telegraph:

"A terrified teenager is tied to a railing in a dark stairway. His face is marked with a black pen. The voice of a vicious thug taunts his victim, hitting him repeatedly while another yob films the disturbing act on his mobile phone."

We're still not convinced 'Happy Slapping' is anything other than a Nokia viral marketing scam.

Telegraph | News | Tortured for £75: a victim of the new form of 'happy slapping' designed to instil terror.

Creative Zen NEEON Stik-Ons -- For da urban youth

Check dis, innit blood!

Da Creative Zen NEEON (that's their use of capital letters, we're not shouting that bit) is being promoted on the Creative web site as being ideal for the "Urban male in you", via a microsite for the Stik-On skin customisation that's an important part of this mini 5Gb MP3 player.

In case you were wondering, this is what urban males look like:



See the urban male in his natural environment here: Zen NEEON Stik-Ons.

Star Trek Flickr babe gallery

We'd like to put "teeengs" in their ears*.

Star Trek chick gallery - a photoset on Flickr.

*Obligatory Wrath of Khan reference.

In-car toilet launched!

And it's powered by the planet's most versatile power source -- the humble car cigarette lighter.

Is there anything you can't run off your lighter hole?

BBC NEWS | Technology | UK company launches in-car toilet

Jamie Hewlett (Tank Girl) illustrates 'Common People' by Pulp

It came from the internet, we have a thirst for linkage:



scans_daily: Here is something which I don't believe.

Casio G-SHOCK -- The Phone

Chunky, ugly, plasticky and pretty nasty, really. It's Casio's new take on the cellphone, the G-Zone Type-R:



THE OFFICIAL SPEC:
On May 26th, KDDI and Okinawa Cellular Telephone Company introduced a new lineup of CDMA 1X phones. The G’zOne TYPE-R is more shock-resistant than its predecessor, the G’zOne. The phones are made by Casio, and will be on sale from the end of July. The price is expected to be comparatively higher than current CDMA 1X phones. (Of course it’s going to be more expensive, but I don’t think you need to mortgage your house.)

Development was originally expected to take 1 year, but ended up taking almost 2 years. “The G’zOne sold from February 2000 until now, so we’ve established a good fan base. However, demand has shifted from straight phones to ones that fold and have a camera. We’ve worked really hard to come up with something similar that is also durable and water-proof,” KDDI’s chief of product planning said.

This phone is tough! The G’zOne TYPE-R is a flip-phone style that is also JIS Level 7 waterproof; still working after being in 1 m of water for 30 minutes. The demo model still worked after being in water for 20 minutes. The phone features a ring of foam around the sub-display, and magnesium alloy on the main body to make it more shock-resistant.

The phone also features a 1.28 mega pixel camera, QVGA screen, and three types of navigation systems – EZ Chaku-uta, AU’s signature service, plus EZ Navigator, a digital compass, and a service that guides you to your destination.

The digital compass, 1/100 Sec. Stopwatch, and round screen are the main unique features. “Extension Mode” doesn’t turn the phone into something from Mr. Gadget, but does allow you to check email and address book – even when the battery is empty. A flashlight feature and buzzer function are also included.

The G-Zone.

UFOs confirmed by Google Maps

Actual photos of UFOs. So it must be true, and definitely not just a Google PR stunt.



Google Sightseeing » Post Archive » UFO Updates.

BitTorrent CLAMP TIGHTENED by FBI

The *American* FBI has managed to close the *Dutch* BitTorrent site EliteTorrents.org. It seems impossible, but this is what greets you on EliteTorrents today:



The cocky Swedes over at The Pirate Bay -- who think they operate ABOVE the law -- must be starting to worry.

As are we -- paying for music and stuff again would "suck hard".

Rio CE2100 2.5GB MP3 player -- Rio loses midas touch

Oops. The mighty Rio has dropped the MP3 player ball, expecting us to pay £150 for its new 2.5Gb CE2100.

We won't be.

Rio CE2100 2.5GB MP3 player | The Register.

Official BitTorrent Search launched!

It's like Google, only less legal.

A search for "Xbox" brings up all the pirated games we could ever need -- AND IT DOES PORN!

The Official BitTorrent Home Page.

XCute DV1 Review

3 megapixel camera, 30fps video at 640x480, MP3 player, small, kind of nice.

Another astonishingly in-depth review by MobileBurn. We really don't know how they motivate themselves.

XCute DV1 Review (MobileBurn).

R2-D2 Star Wars Collector PLATE!

Look, it's only Star Wars, not Constable's Haywain. Grown-ups really shouldn't like this kind of thing.



Customers who bought R2-D2 8" Saga Collector Plate also bought:

Clone Trooper 8" Fine Bone China Collector Plate

Stormtrooper 8" Fine Bone China Collector Plate

R2-D2 Ceramic Cookie Jar

StarWarsShop.com - R2-D2 8" Saga Collector Plate

Online Doctor Who theme tune remixer

They call it the Radiophonatron, in tribute to the groundbreaking work of the BBC Radiophonic Workshop -- a team of three men who made all the sound effects for every BBC TV show produced up until 1994 using only some milk bottles, a saw and some fishing wire.

BBC- Doctor Who - Radiophonatron.

Nokia 770 Internet Tablet

WANT.

It's a portable widescreen display for on the move web browsing, meaning you're never more than a few seconds away from your favourite sources of regurgitated tech news!

It suports 802.11b/g, Bluetooth 1.2, USB and RS-MMC memory cards. And if you're still wavering... it RUNS ON LINUX for extra loser kudos.



Nokia - Nokia - Nokia 770 Internet Tablet

Creative Zen Neeon

PRICE BREAKTHROUGH!

The hard drive MP3 player market has been stuck offering you 5Gb, 10Gb or more for around the £150 mark for the last year -- but Creative's new Neeon offers 5Gb and amazing smallness for ONLY £109.

With an FM radio, 16-hour battery life and line-in socket for ripping music from anything, this is the cheapo iPod replacement we've been waiting for.

Sonnet PodFreq Mini -- for iPod Mini broadcasting

My DJ, my DJ, my DJ!

Install, then tune your car radio into your iPod and go. It's against the law to own one in the UK, though, due to radio broadcasting laws. But it's unlikely the police would want the paperwork.



Sonnet PodFreq: Premium FM Transmitter and Dock for iPod

The internet -- magical, causes psychosis

So it's not just us that goes a bit mental after six straight hours pressing F5 on web forums, then.


"In one case, a patient began to have paranoid thoughts and used an internet search engine to investigate suspicions about an ingredient on a chewing gum packet.

Her searches led her to believe she had discovered a secret terrorist network, and was therefore being personally targeted by the authorities using phone taps and hidden cameras."

Mind Hacks: Internet delusions:

Booze delivered to your door. All night long.

SERVANT! Bring me BEER!

Yes, even at 3:30am.

This might be a joke site, but it seems very convincing.

After Hours Drinks Company

Revenge of the Sith Bittorrent TAKEDOWN!

Legal letters flying out to the ISPs of users caught downloading the latest Star Wars via Bittorrent.

"It has come to our attention that xxxService Providerxxx is the service provider for the IP address listed below, from which unauthorized copying and distribution (downloading, uploading, file serving, file “swapping” or other similar activities) of FOX’S property is taking place"

FOX issuing takedown notices to Sith downloaders.

Free WiFi for London!

3G compatible, too.

Westminster to open Wi-Fi network to hoi polloi | The Register

O2 renames Millennium Dome "The O2"

New mobile-themed facility to open in 2007.

We can't tell why any of this is really happening.

O2 - Media centre - Press releases

Free iPods for schoolkids :(

Outrageous. Free iPods for idiot kids, as a *reward* for them eating healthy food.

When we were young, our reward for eating properly was NOT DYING.

Kids. Evil and stupid -- and given iPods as a reward.

*shakes head*

Scotsman.com News - Health - Health food sounds so good to pupils

Japanese woman holding a thing!

She's holding a Samsung SCH-B130. It's launching in Korea, so there's a good chance she's actually Korean instead of Japanese, but we're not spoiling a good running joke because of a few thousand miles.

Space: 2008 launch for "Virgin Galactic" -- !!

Taken from Rocketforge:

SpaceShipTwo's altitude goal will be 360,000 feet and possibly 400,000 feet. And passengers will be able to leave their seat and have enough time to move about and look out the window. It will be called "Virgin SpaceShip Enterprise". And the motherwhip (White Knight 2) will b identical to the Enterprise so that the next set of flight participants can ride up and watch the previous set actually take off. They even want to do parabolic flights using the White Knight 2 to train the fligh participants in zero-g movement before they actually lauch.

They'll be giving participants 5 minutes of weightlessness.

They're asking their initial customers lots of questions to try and characterize the needs and expectations of the market segment:

Their first concern is "when it is going to happen". They're answer is Spring 2008.

Apparently we would all recgonize a lot of the names in the customer list.

All of the passengers expect a training period but it can't last longer than a week.

The WhiteNight version 2 will b ecalled "Eve" after Richard Branson's mother.

WE NEED MORE MONEY.

Game advertising -- the new bane of your leisure time

NOW WITH A GRAPH:



» Advertising in games to reach $562 mln in 2009 | IT Facts — Your Daily Research Synopisis | ZDNet.com

Crazy Frog set to beat Coldplay to Number One

Humourless character with rubbish, cliched song set for number two. Crazy Frog takes UK chart top spot.

EVACUATE UNITED KINGDOM!

EVACUATE UNITED KINGDOM!

EVACUATE UNITED KINGDOM!

EVACUATE UNITED KINGDOM!

EVACUATE UNITED KINGDOM!

Crazy Frog set to beat Coldplay to Number One - NME.COM.

iPod Winamp controller bypasses iTunes

If you haven't already been mugged for your iPod, sold it because the battery only lasts for two hours or lost it, this might come in handy.

Control your iPod via Winamp.

Viral movie of the day!

This is of people deliberately drinking lots of a cold thing until their heads hurt.

thebrainfreeze.com

France saves MP3 thieves!

Finally, a reason for France existing that isn't cheap fags or booze.

In short: French courts are refusing to amply prosecute filesharers.

Wired News: Volez ce MP3!

Robotic uprising -- latest photos

Oh yes, this is how it starts. They worm their way into your HOME, buy your affections, become irreplacable parts of society that blend seamlessly into the background of modern life -- then they TURN AGAINST MANKIND.

iRobot - Robots for the Real World : Scooba Landing.

Can't you people SEE? Destroy the robots NOW, before it's too late!

Buzzword of the day for May 23 -- Roadcasting

It's the exciting new way for pretentious, self-centred, media fucks to not pay attention while they're driving their cyber green metallic Volkswagen Beetles!

Roadcasting.

In short -- broadcasting your tunes from your car. To other MEDIA IDIOTS.

The 2006 Porsche Cayman S

It's different from all the other Porsches ever made because... it's... it's got... no it's no good. We can't make things up about cars without reading some sort of official documentation.

*reads official documentation*

Ah yes. It's different because it's a Boxster coupe with a 3.4 litre engine and it costs around £35,000.

When our MASSIVE BLOG EMPIRE takes off, we might get one. No, we'll get two. One for us and one for our new girlfriend -- PARIS HILTON!

*sigh*

"Booth babe" CD dress shame

Even the yanks are at it now.

Every year since the CD launched, thousands of poor "booth babes" have had to endure wearing dresses made out of CDs.

They are never flattering. Not even on top models.



What are you looking at, ginge? You've got NO CHANCE.

O2 Xda IIs -- Out!

Amazing and out now. Only £179.

This is possibly our next new phone, pending the results of our appeal to the European Courts to get out of our Phones4U contract.

O2 Xda microsite : Xda IIs

BitTorrent dad set to launch BT Search

Bram Cohen, the creator of the world's newest and best file-sharing system, is preparing a Bittorrent search facility, to make stealing films even easier.

It'll be great.

At least it'll be great for a week, until its closed by America's World Police.

Wired News: Next for BitTorrent: Search.

Space ads banned -- Jamster DENIED!

If you want to escape the "CUNTING" Crazy Frog, you have to go into space.

Because America, who's obviously just declared itself IN CHARGE OF ALL SPACE, THE GALAXY AND THE UNIVERSE, has banned adverts in space.

CNN.com - U.S.: No billboards in space - May 20, 2005.

3 mobile launches "photo blogging" service

"Here's an arty one I took of some beer glasses when I was drunk"

"Here's one of a girl I nearly went up to and spoke to"

"Here's a funny road sign. You can't quite read what it says, but I remember it being really funny. At the time"

3 - Company site - 3 launches UK's first mobile blogging service

PlayStation 3 -- "One percent as powerful as a human brain"

More utter, utter, utter nonsense from Sony's PlayStation 3 propaganda division.

"U can put Ur brain on it wen U die!!!" says the internet.

Death could be averted by 'downloaded brains', British futurologist says - Yahoo! UK & Ireland News

SanDisk's 2 Gigabyte Memory Stick PRO Duo cards

It's the news the burgeoning PSP "hacking scene" has been waiting for!

LOS ANGELES -- May 18, 2005 SanDisk Also Begins Shipping Other Memory Stick PRO Duo Card Capacities to Consumer Electronics Retailers, Video/Games Stores and Discount Department Stores

Responding to stronger-than-expected consumer demand for high-capacity flash memory cards that are needed for music and video-playing in Sony's fast-selling PlayStation Portable (PSP), SanDisk(R) Corporation (Nasdaq:SNDK) today introduced a 2-gigabyte (GB)(a) Memory Stick PRO Duo(TM) Gaming Card to provide PSP owners with plenty of removable storage for video clips, MP3 music tracks, digital still photos and game data. The announcement was made at Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), where SanDisk is showing its gaming cards and accessories in Kentia Hall, Meeting Room 7008 of the Los Angeles Convention Center.

SanDisk is working on increasing its production of new 1GB Memory Stick PRO Duo Gaming Cards, as well as other capacities, in an effort to meet demand from major electronics retailers, video game outlets and discount department stores in North America, Japan and elsewhere in Asia where the PSP has been introduced. Gaming cards will be available at numerous retailers including Best Buy, Circuit City, EB Games (Electronics Boutique) and GameStop.

The 2GB card, which is expected to ship in July, will carry a suggested retail price of $349.99. Other capacities in the Memory Stick PRO Duo Gaming Card line range from $39.99 for 128 megabytes (MB)(a) to $139.99 for 1GB.

"We've had numerous calls from interested consumers and retailers asking about the availability of our highest-capacity Memory Stick PRO Duo cards, and we're working as quickly as possible to put inventory on retail shelves," said Greg Rhine, SanDisk's senior vice president of worldwide sales. "Since the PSP has limited on-board storage, it is generating strong demand for high-capacity flash memory cards for expanded memory, and we expect this situation to continue as the popularity of the PSP spreads globally."

SanDisk.

Crazy Frog -- Complaints soar, Ad Standard Agency overrun

Posted on the Advertising Standards Agency web site:

IMPORTANT - JAMSTER: We are aware of viewer concern about the current frequency of Jamster advertising and the terrestrial channels have been informed. If you wish to complain about the frequency of Jamster ringtone advertisements, please do not complain to the ASA. You should contact the broadcaster direct. The frequency of any particular advertisement is not part of the ASA’s remit. Contact details for broadcasters can be found in Radio Times, or on the Ofcom web site: www.ofcom.org.uk. The ITV Duty Office can be contacted on: 0870 600 6766. For Cable or Satellite channels, contact the channel. The ASA can only consider complaints about the content of television advertisements, not the frequency of any particular advertisement.

Obviously the'ye getting flooded. See here for more.



Jamster's CUNTING FROG is a PLAGUE on the UK at the moment.

However, some light frog-relief is found on the ASA's website -- this ruling on the Crazy Frog's genitals, which, keen viewers will have noted, have recently been covered up:


Some viewers complained that the commercial was annoying and broadcast far too frequently. However, the main crux of the complaints related to a far more unusual and surprising subject matter. Frog genitalia.

Viewers had noticed that Crazy Frog was very definitely male due to a protrusion that stuck out from his cartoon body. The complainants found this inappropriate. Some were worried about children seeing this kind of advertising material whilst a few parents had felt embarrassed by some of the questions their children had asked them. The ASA decided to formally investigate the complaints.

Though the ASA takes all complaints about offensive advertisements very seriously this certainly ranked as one of the more unusual investigations it had ever launched. However, despite the high volume of complaints, 60 in total, the complaints were not upheld.

Because the commercial prompted viewers to order the ringtone via text it had been given an ex-kids restriction and automatically moved away from being shown around programmes specifically made for children. With regards to the anatomical anomaly, whilst acknowledging it was surprising for genitalia to be shown on an animated frog the ASA found that there was no sexual or inappropriate references made about it. Furthermore, whilst it appreciated adults were concerned about the frog, it noted that none of the complaints reported children being upset. As an ex-kids restriction was already in place the ASA did not consider the genitalia to be a problem. Lastly, though the ASA accepted that advertisements which are broadcast frequently can rankle with some viewers, it didn?€™t uphold the complaints as it is the advertiser and broadcaster who decide how often they show a commercial.

Full report in the Google cache here.

Italians -- Really into mobile phone porn

The Italians spend three times as much on mobile phone porn than on traditional print "material".

"The country's main cellphone providers sold at least 70-million five-minute erotic videos at 2-euros each to their subscribers during 2004"

They must have good eyesight.

IOL: Science & Tech

All hail the ASPARAGUS QUEEN!

Look, it's the weekend. No one's reading. And nowhere is ever that suitable a place for posting a photo of a woman crowned "The Asparagus Queen", so we might as well post it here.

The ASPARAGUS QUEEN, and her beautiful crown of finest asparagus:

Robot attacks man

IT'S GOT SCISSORS!

Remember when you first saw this image, for it heralds the beginning of the ROBOT UPRISING that will bring about the end of mankind.

Supposedly helping RadioShack's StoreOne flagship store to open by cutting the ribbon, this robot now has a TASTE FOR KILLING.



You may laugh at us for issuing these warnings, but it will happen. The robots ARE rising.

Blogebrity -- A magazine about Blogging

When venture capital goes mad :(

Blogebrity.

US Army -- Too Lazy To Walk

Shown here are US soldiers testing Chariots from the American Chariot Company, which recently shipped 24 of its "Special Applications Series Chariots" (wheelchairs?) to the US Army’s National Automotive Center (NAC) for deployment to Iraq with the XVII Airborne Corps’ 1st COSCOM.

The Chariot is a zero-emission, all-electric, three-wheeled personal transportation vehicle.

Or... it's a wheelchair for lazy fat soldiers. www.americanchariot.com.

30,000 people downloading Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

At this precise moment in time!

The version is stamped with a time code, but we'd put up with that if it means being able to fast forward through all the stilted dialogue bits (30 percent of the film, once the "exciting start" is out of the way, according to early reviews).

Nokia N-Gage wireless bluetooth headphones

Quite nice, apart from where it says "Nokia N-Gage" on them.

Maybe it could be picked off?

Japanese woman holding a thing!

It's the craze that's sweeping the nation!

And because it's Friday we have TWO Japanese women holding TWO THINGS in slightly differing orientations!

The thing is a Samsung SCH-V740 -- some sort of *wireless telephone* by the looks of it.

Massive Nokia 7710 Review

This must've taken AGES. Way longer than the 30 second limit we've imposed on writing our posts here.

The guy's written TEN PAGES on it, and, unusually for an online mobile review, seems to have actually USED one instead of just pretending!

Read the MASTERWORK here: Nokia 7710 Review (MobileBurn)

More Mac Mini Modding Madness

This time, it's battery operated!

NOTE: This still doesn't stop PCs from being BEST.

Gizmondo -- putting its money to good use at last...

...by PAYING WOMEN to hold its glossy brochures at video game industry event E3.

Look! Only one of them can bear to look the obese guy with the camera in the eye.



See more at e3girls.com.

Idiots discuss PlayStation 3

Some choice quotes from the BBC web site discussion on PS3. Try not to despair too much.


"It definitely looks like a must buy console! With its outstanding graphics display, Sony PS3 shall surely dominate the console market, and the minds of many"

"The amount of time people put into playing and discussing console games is worrying. Before we decide whether this console is better than any other we should really take a good long look at what is happening to society as a whole"

" I don't like where this is heading? When will we stop toying with the unknown. Before you know it, an unstoppable machine revolution will take over the world."

"As if our young people weren't fat enough. We will never recapture the sporting glories of my youth if we keep on giving youngsters all these new fangled toys. Give them a ball and get them to kick it!"


Sadly it's a moderated page, so you can't pile in and start swearing at everyone. :(

BBC NEWS | Have Your Say | Is PlayStation 3 any good?

Nokia 5140i -- the phone for ROLLERBLADERS

Yes, very lifestyle of you, Nokia.

The new 5140i -- out in Europe next month -- comes in "sporty" colours, has a "Fitness coach" application... "and MP3 ringtones to connect to your favorite sports". What?



It's meant for mums to buy for their football-liking teenage sons' 14th birthdays.

Bewildering niche marketing here.

Tesco to start selling WiFi products

Our shopping will now consist of a microwave lasagne for one, one small tin of Heinz soup, two bananas, one frozen pizza and a Linksys ADSL gateway and (802.11g) wireless router.

Tesco and Cisco: Buy a router with your root veg - silicon.com.

*This is a joke. We already have a super-fast 802.11g wireless network that works almost all of the time as long as we regularly jiggle the loose network card in the PC.

Mac fan DARES TO CRITICISE!

It's not often that a rabid Mac fan says something negative about one of Apple's HOLY PRODUCTS, but that's what's happened here.

The Mac Mini comes with an "excruciating slow hard drive", he says, which at 4200rpm is indeed something of an outrage (most decent* ones are 7200 these days).

So he (we're naturally assuming this is a man who almost certainly works in IT) modded it to use a quicker FireWire external drive.

It's a heart-warming story!

Mac Mini FireWire Hard Drive Performance

*By "decent" we mean "PC".

Ads hit 3 Mobile

Yes! Great news! Ads for ringtones will shortly be hammering out of your phone just like they do at home during every TV ad break!

3 Mobile's ad service is launching gently with a film trailer (the bad news: It's for a British "comedy"), but, obviously, it'll soon be whored out to every Jamster wannabe with a humorous selection of ringtones to flog for £3 each.

Interestingly, 3 says "adverts or paid-for content can be tailored and relevant, so the consumer wins too". No, that's like saying people who own a television are all into the same thing.

Here's the full release from 3 Mobile and its "marketing partners".

Europe : 3, the UK's first video mobile network, today announced that as part of a new video mobile marketing agreement it is running the first advert over 3G.

Inset is Pamir Gelenbe, co-founder and Director of Flytxt quoted below.

3's customers will be able to watch for free, a trailer of the new British cult film "It's all Gone Pete Tong", a Toronto film festival award-winner, which is out in UK cinemas on May 26.

Under an agreement with Flytxt, the leading mobile marketing services provider and in conjunction with RedBus Film Distribution, the trailer will be available via 'Today on 3'. 3's customers will also be able to read about the film, the plot and its stars.

This is the first time that 3G has formed part of the promotional mix for a film alongside traditional TV, online and print.

Gareth Jones, COO, 3: "This is a very exciting development; advertisers now have a new and targeted visual medium with which to reach consumers. As the UK's largest video mobile operator, we know what our customers enjoy watching over 3G, we also know the profile of our customers, this means that adverts or paid-for content can be tailored and relevant, so the consumer wins too."

Pamir Gelenbe, co-founder and Director of Corporate Development, Flytxt: "We're delighted to be working with 3, the UK's leading 3G network on such an innovative approach to mobile marketing and advertising. The advantage for brand owners is that mobile marketing combines the wide reach of TV with the precision of DM and the tracking potential of the internet. "

"It's All Gone Pete Tong" is a hilarious new comedy examining the life of superstar DJ Frank Wilde, described as 'Sharp, funny and mind-blowingly good' by The Sun TV Mag. The movie features a thumping soundtrack and Pete Tong himself even has a cameo role in the movie. The half-a-minute clip will be launched in mid-May and will be available to the first 100,000 customers downloading the clip, for free. 3 has over 3 million customers on its UK video mobile network.

RSS feed for mobiles

We're still a bit unsure about how RSS works for the *proper* internet, let alone on mobiles.

Still, it's there. For your IT manager. Nigel. Or Colin.

Adrants -- RSS For Mobile Phones Introduced

Nintendo Revolution -- Controller mystery solved by mysterious flap

This all-new "flap open" shot of Nintendo's new Revolution game console reveals two things -- Gamecube controller ports for backwards compatibility and memory card slots. For backwards compatibility.

Another photo also illustrates the machine in different colours -- green, red, white and grey.

It'd almost exciting, were it not for PS3 and Xbox 360 looking ONE MILLION TIMES better.

Flickr PHOTO STALKING

Ahh, the lovely internet!

This site is one man's journey through online photo-sharing community Flickr -- and all he does is pull out all the photos of "hot chicks" then posts them on his blog.

Judging by the state of his archives he's only been doing this for five days now -- so go visit and give him some motivation to carry on.

NOTE TO FEMALE READERS: There's nothing frightening or sick about this at all.

Chicksnbreasts.

US set to "RAIN METAL FROM SPACE"

Calm down a bit, Americans!

You might take out out by mistake when you're aiming for the French.


WORRYING QUOTES THAT SIGNAL IMPENDING DOOM:

"In 2002, after weighing the report of the Rumsfeld space commission, President Bush withdrew from the 30-year-old Antiballistic Missile Treaty, which banned space-based weapons"

"The weapon, called the common aero vehicle, could strike from halfway around the world in 45 minutes. "This is the type of prompt Global Strike I have identified as a top priority for our space and missile force," General Lord said"

"Another Air Force space program, nicknamed Rods From God, aims to hurl cylinders of tungsten, titanium or uranium from the edge of space to destroy targets on the ground, striking at speeds of about 7,200 miles an hour with the force of a small nuclear weapon"

"A third program would bounce laser beams off mirrors hung from space satellites or huge high-altitude blimps, redirecting the lethal rays down to targets around the world. A fourth seeks to turn radio waves into weapons whose powers could range "from tap on the shoulder to toast," in the words of an Air Force plan"

Full Air Force TERROR article here.

Mobile paedo warning :(

Says the Evening Standard:

"Police and Mayor Ken Livingstone today issued a joint warning to parents to be vigilant of the danger caused by advances in technology. They revealed that a dozen such cases are due to come to court shortly following arrests last summer.

"High-profile and covert patrols are now planned for this summer in parks and public spaces across London. Warning signs alerting parents to the danger of paedophiles photographing their children will be erected"

Christ, the country is going to Hell in a USB charging cradle.

Women in skirts on escalators are fair game -- asking for it, even! -- but kids? In parks? For people like us who look a bit like paedos anyway, this is really bad news.

Full report.

Deluxe Jedi Robe (adult)

Unlike most costumes, the Deluxe Jedi Robe comes in an "adult" size.

It's for grown-ups.

It makes us sad -- for society as a whole -- and also that we didn't have the idea of selling a $5 brown blanket for $50 to losers over the internet.



StarWarsShop.com - Deluxe Jedi Robe Adult

Sega teams with Panasonic for FREE Sonic The Hedgehog game

Legendary video game EPIC Sonic The Hedgehog will be imbedded in the Panasonic VS3, due for release across Europe later this summer.

The game will also be free with the Panasonic VS7, the SA7, SA6, MX7 and MX6.



You play a hedgehog. He is fast and blue and AWESOME.

Nokia N-Gage phased out in favour of Smartphones

At least, we think that's what all this means:


Los Angeles, CA – Nokia today unveiled its plans for its evolution of connected mobile gaming, which will make it easy to search for, purchase and play high-quality mobile games using a range of Nokia smartphones. The aim of this next generation of mobile gaming is to expand the N-Gage platform's rich connected multiplayer experience across a wide range of Nokia's multimedia devices.

Based on the impressive processing power available in today's smartphones, Nokia's next generation mobile gaming solution includes enhanced 3D game graphics capability and offers user-friendly search, purchase and installation of high-quality rich games as well as connected gaming with instant access to a global mobile gaming community. Best of all, the solution works with a number of different Nokia smartphones, thus giving consumers the freedom to choose a multimedia device that best suits their individual needs.

'Over the past two years, we've seen the mobile gaming market grow by leaps and bounds both in terms of market interest and customer expectations,' said Gerard Wiener, Director and General Manager, Games, Nokia. 'With the N-Gage platform, we've been able to deliver a superior gaming experience to mobile gamers, but only on a small range of devices. Now we want to expand rich, connected mobile gaming across the Nokia smartphone range. In 2005, we expect to sell 25 million smartphones and we see the global smartphone market exceeding 250 million devices in 2008. We can continue with our N-Gage offering while helping to drive the adoption of mobile connected gaming at a broader level.'

The first Nokia smartphones to support the new Nokia mobile gaming solution are expected to be in the market during the first half of 2006. Additional information on the title launch portfolio is expected to be available in September 2005.

Nintendo Revolution -- Full spec!

Here's the full-on officialdom on the Nintendo Revolution.

Whoever wrote it really made a meal of saying "More Mario and Zelda games".

IN SUMMARY:

Plays Gamecube games

Can be upgraded to play DVDs

Wireless networking

Play loads of ancient old Nintendo games too

IN FULL:

Nintendo's Compact Console Will Turn The World Of Gaming On Its Side

New System will be Forward-Thinking, Yet Backward Compatible

LOS ANGELES, May 17, 2005 - Each generation of video game consoles builds on the past to set new standards for the future. As the company with the strongest heritage of innovation, Nintendo redefines expectations for all next-gen systems by employing a wide-ranging strategy to attract more kinds of gamers to more kinds of games. When Nintendo's new console, code-named Revolution, arrives in 2006, everyone will discover the meaning of All-Access Gaming.

"We will show the world what a next-gen system can be. Revolution marries the strongest heritage of innovation to the future of gaming," says Nintendo President Satoru Iwata. "With backward compatibility and the 'virtual console' concept, the stylish, compact body provides maximum gaming power. It will not only take home entertainment into another dimension by expanding the definition of video games, but it also will give you access to the great history of gaming."

Some of the system features that wowed the crowd at the Electronics Entertainment Expo (E3) in Los Angeles include:

# The cool look: The new console boasts high-quality materials and a smart, compact design, approximately the size of three standard DVD cases stacked together. A variety of prototype colors are being showcased during E3. It will come with a silver stand that makes the system a welcome, artistic component of any multimedia setup, whether it's displayed vertically or horizontally.

# Backward compatibility: The new console plays all games from the current Nintendo GameCubeTM generation. But there's more...

# The secret weapon: The console also will have downloadable access to 20 years of fan-favorite titles originally released for Nintendo® 64, the Super Nintendo Entertainment System® (SNES) and even the Nintendo Entertainment System® (NES).

# Easy expansion: A bay for an SD memory card will let players expand the internal flash memory.

# Two disc formats, one slot: Instead of a tray, a single, innovative, self-loading media bay will play both 12-centimeter optical discs used for the new system as well as Nintendo GameCube discs. Owners will have the option of equipping a small, self-contained attachment to play movies and other DVD content.

# The specs: The system boasts 512 megabytes of internal flash memory, wireless controllers, two USB 2.0 ports and built-in Wi-Fi access. A worldwide network of Nintendo players can gather to compete in a comfortable, inviting environment. Revolution's technological heart, a processing chip developed with IBM and code-named "Broadway," and a graphics chip set from ATI code-named "Hollywood," will deliver game experiences not previously possible.

# The stars: Introduction of a number of new franchise properties will add to the world's richest stable of stars, including Mario, Zelda, Super Smash Bros., Donkey Kong and Metroid.

# Wireless freedom: A number of Wi-Fi-enabled launch titles are in development that will employ Nintendo's newly announced wireless gaming service, Nintendo® Wi-Fi Connection. A worldwide network of Nintendo players can gather to compete in a comfortable, inviting environment.

# Freedom of design: A dynamic development architecture equally accommodates both big-budget, high-profile game "masterpieces" as well as indie games conceived by individual developers equipped with only a big idea.

"Our next console proves small in size but big on ideas," says Reggie Fils-Aime, Nintendo of America's executive vice president of sales & marketing. "We're throwing open the doors of gaming to wider audiences, from casual players to hard-core gamers who live for the thrill of defeating an endless army of wireless opponents."

Nintendo's All-Access Gaming philosophy covers the spectrum. The next console fits anywhere. It brings together new games and old. It gives people worldwide access through wireless Wi-Fi connections. And it opens the world of video games - to everyone. Software for the new console will even attract people who don't consider themselves players. Adults, kids, men and women around the world will have access to the most popular video game characters, the best game franchises and the most engaging experiences yet developed - only with Nintendo.

PS3 controller pic

You'd assume that in a company the size of Sony there'd be quite a few staff whose job it is to "test things" before they go on sale.

So the PlayStation3 controller, pictured here, must've been checked, perused and okayed by loads of -- perhaps even as many as 100! -- people.



Were they scared to say "no" to the important boss people?

Series 80 & 90 Mega Drive emulator

Sonic 2. On the move. That's been a personal dream of ours for many years -- THAT DREAM HAS NOW COME TRUE*!



Picodrive is a Mega Drive emulator for Nokia's Series 80 & 90 mobiles -- that's the Nokia 9300, 9500 and 7710 -- and it's free.

Get it here:

Picodrive - Sega Megadive/Genesis Emulator for Symbian Series 80/90


*Dream still not come true, due to recent phone loss.

Nintendo Revolution pic!

"Small and boring" looking.

Be careful not to lose it down the back of your Xboxes.

PLAYSTATION 3 -- Spring 2006 -- Official details!

Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. To Launch its Next Generation Computer Entertainment System, PLAYSTATION 3 in Spring 2006

Unrivaled Performance with the Introduction of Cell Processor and Many Advanced Technologies, and Backwards compatible with PlayStation® and PlayStation®2

Los Angeles, CALIF., May 16, 2005 – At a press conference held in Los Angeles, California, today, Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. (SCEI) revealed the outline of its PLAYSTATION®3 (PS3) computer entertainment system, incorporating the world's most advanced Cell processor with super computer like power. Prototypes of PS3 will also be showcased at the Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3), the world's largest interactive entertainment exhibition held in Los Angeles, from May 18th to 20th.

PS3 combines state-of-the-art technologies featuring Cell, a processor jointly developed by IBM, Sony Group and Toshiba Corporation, graphics processor (RSX) co-developed by NVIDIA Corporation and SCEI, and XDR memory developed by Rambus Inc. It also adopts BD-ROM (Blu-ray Disc ROM) with maximum storage capacity of 54 GB (dual layer) , enabling delivery of entertainment content in full high-definition (HD) quality, under a secure environment made possible through the most advanced copyright protection technology. To match the accelerating convergence of digital consumer electronics and computer technology, PS3 supports high quality display in resolution of 1080p(*) as standard, which is far superior to 720p/1080i.

With an overwhelming computing power of 2 teraflops, entirely new graphical expressions that have never been seen before will become possible. In games, not only will movement of characters and objects be far more refined and realistic, but landscapes and virtual worlds can also be rendered in real-time, thereby elevating the freedom of graphics expression to levels not experienced in the past. Gamers will literally be able to dive into the realistic world seen in large screen movies and experience the excitement in real-time.

In 1994, SCEI launched the original PlayStation® (PS), followed by PlayStation®2 (PS2) in 2000 and PlayStation®Portable (PSP®) in 2004, every time introducing the latest advancement in technology and bringing innovation to the interactive entertainment software creation. Over 13,000 titles have been developed by now, creating a software market that sells more than 250 million copies annually. PS3 offers backward compatibility enabling gamers to enjoy these enormous assets from PS and PS2 platforms.

PlayStation family of products are sold in more than 120 countries and regions around the world. With cumulative shipments reaching more than 102 million for PS and approximately 89 million for PS2, they are the undisputed leaders and have become the standard platform for home entertainment. After 12 years from the introduction of the original PS and 6 years from the launch of PS2, SCEI brings PS3, the newest platform with the most advanced next generation computer entertainment technology.

With the delivery of Cell based development tools that has already begun, development of game titles as well as tools and middleware are in progress. Through collaboration with world's leading tools and middleware companies, SCEI will offer full support to new content creation by providing developers with extensive tools and libraries that will bring out the power of the Cell processor and enable efficient software development.

Preparations are under way for launch of PS3 and new generation software in the spring of 2006. (*)1080p/720p/1080i: "p" stands for progressive scan method, "i" stands for interlace method. 1080p is the highest resolution within the HD standard.

"SCEI has continuously brought innovation to the world of computer entertainment, such as real-time 3D computer graphics on PlayStation and the world's first 128 bit processor Emotion Engine (EE) for PlayStation 2. Empowered by the Cell processor with super computer like performance, a new age of PLAYSTATION 3 is about to begin. Together with content creators from all over the world, SCEI will accelerate the arrival of a new era in computer entertainment." Ken Kutaragi, President and CEO, Sony Computer Entertainment Inc..

Supporting comments from third party developers and publishers (In alphabetical order of company name)

"With the new generation PlayStation platform, we can create "GUNDAM WORLD" with the quality no one has ever imagined. The philosophy, connecting millions of Cell together, makes reality get closer to the world of SF films. We are delighted to share the vision of Ken, ARCHITECT, Kutaragi." Shin Unozawa, Managing Director, Leader, Game Software Group, President, Video Game Company, BANDAI CO.,LTD.

"The PLAYSTATION 3 has us really excited! So much so in fact that we are already working our hardest to get Devil May Cry 4 out for this new platform. New hardware always yields more options for developers to create exciting and fresh gameplay experiences. I believe that the PS3 is one piece of hardware that will test the mettle of our development team and help us to create some of the most amazing games, limited only by our imagination." Keiji Inafune, Managing Executive Officer, Research & Development Division, Capcom Co., Ltd.

"Each generation of PlayStation has made a dramatic improvement in how we create and play videogames. PLAYSTATION 3 will be a breakthrough in how the world experiences entertainment. EA is fully aligned with Sony Computer Entertainment – we share their vision and applaud their success. " Larry Probst, Chairman and CEO, Electronic Arts

"President Kutaragi has thrown down a gauntlet. That gauntlet is called the PLAYSTATION 3. We here at Koei have gladly taken up the challenge, and are striving day and night to take full advantage of all the PS3's new possibilities. Our goal is to combine cutting-edge technology with a full range of artistic expression to deliver the ultimate form of entertainment, and please people everywhere." Keiko Erikawa, Chairman & C.E.O., KOEI Co., Ltd.

"With the arrival of the next generation computer entertainment system PLAYSTATION 3, I believe it will be possible for graphic expressions, more beautiful than before, to coexist with more deep and evolved game play which utilize the Cell architecture. I also have high expectations for the evolution by the online features that will be enhanced. We will utilize the features of the new platform and will strive to create contents that will bring new excitement for our users world wide, so please have high hopes for Konami. " Kazumi Kitaue, CEO, Konami Digital Entertainment, Inc

"Each time SCEI launches a console, the video games business moves to the next level. With PLAYSTATION 3 it looks as if it might be time for interactive entertainment to become, finally, the world's dominant artistic medium. " Sam Houser, President, Rockstar Games (Take-Two Interactive Software, Inc.)

"We at Namco have used and will continue to use the advancements in audio-visual technology to deliver games that are not only appealing to the eyes and ears, but that stir emotions, speak to the heart, and remain in players' minds for years to come. We are confident that the PLAYSTATION 3 is an entertainment system that will enable us to do just that." Shigeru Yokoyama, CT Company President, Namco Ltd.

Hisao Oguchi, President and Chief Operating Officer, SEGA Corporation "Next-generation hardware platforms will enable SEGA to create new game concepts that offer more immersive interactive experiences. SEGA continues to pursue the fusion of creativity and technology by publishing only the best, more innovative content to gamers around the world."

Yoichi Wada, President, SQUARE ENIX CO., LTD. "Square Enix is extremely honored to have had the chance to provide you with this technical demonstration of what the Cell processor can bring to the PLAYSTATION 3 and the world of gaming. We are committed to fully backing SCEI's new computer entertainment system and plans to bring the FINAL FANTASY series to the PS3 are just beyond the horizon."

Yves Guillemot, President and CEO, Ubisoft "Ubisoft was one of the first major international developers to have its teams start focusing on next generation consoles. We are looking forward to developing outstanding games on Sony Computer Entertainment Inc.'s new system. Its powerful features will help take the industry to an even higher level in the very near future."

PLAYSTATION®3 Specifications Product name PLAYSTATION®3 CPU Cell Processor PowerPC-base Core @3.2GHz 1 VMX vector unit per core 512KB L2 cache 7 x SPE @3.2GHz 7 x 128b 128 SIMD GPRs 7 x 256KB SRAM for SPE * 1 of 8 SPEs reserved for redundancy total floating point performance : 218 GFLOPS

GPU RSX @550MHz 1.8 TFLOPS floating point performance Full HD (up to 1080p) x 2 channels Multi-way programmable parallel floating point shader pipelines

Sound Dolby 5.1ch, DTS, LPCM, etc. (Cell-base processing)

Memory 256MB XDR Main RAM @3.2GHz 256MB GDDR3 VRAM @700MHz

System Bandwidth Main RAM 25.6GB/s VRAM 22.4GB/s RSX 20GB/s (write) + 15GB/s (read) SB 2.5GB/s (write) + 2.5GB/s (read)

System Floating Point Performance 2 TFLOPS

Storage HDD Detachable 2.5" HDD slot x 1

I/O USB Front x 4, Rear x 2 (USB2.0) Memory Stick standard/Duo, PRO x 1 SD standard/mini x 1 CompactFlash (Type I, II) x 1

Communication Ethernet (10BASE-T, 100BASE-TX, 1000BASE-T) x 3 (input x 1 + output x 2) Wi-Fi IEEE 802.11 b/g Bluetooth Bluetooth 2.0 (EDR)

Controller Bluetooth (up to 7) USB2.0 (wired) Wi-Fi (PSP®) Network (over IP)

AV Output Screen size 480i, 480p, 720p, 1080i, 1080p HDMI HDMI out x 2 Analog AV MULTI OUT x 1 Digital audio DIGITAL OUT (OPTICAL) x 1

Disc media * read only CD PlayStation® CD-ROM PlayStation®2 CD-ROM CD-DA CD-DA (ROM), CD-R, CD-RW SACD SACD Hybrid (CD layer), SACD HD DualDisc DualDisc (audio side),DualDisc DVD side)

DVD PlayStation®2 DVD-ROM PLAYSTATION®3 DVD-ROM DVD-Video DVD-ROM, DVD-R, DVD-RW, DVD+R, DVD+RW

Blu-ray Disc PLAYSTATION®3 BD-ROM BD-Video BD-ROM, BD-R, BD-RE

About Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. Recognized as the global leader and company responsible for the progression of consumer-based computer entertainment, Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. (SCEI) manufacturers, distributes and markets the PlayStation® game console, the PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system and the PlayStation®Portable (PSP®) handheld entertainment system. PlayStation has revolutionized home entertainment by introducing advanced 3D graphic processing, and PlayStation 2 further enhances the PlayStation legacy as the core of home networked entertainment. PSP is a new portable entertainment system that allows users to enjoy 3D games, with high-quality full-motion video, and high-fidelity stereo audio. SCEI, along with its subsidiary divisions Sony Computer Entertainment America Inc., Sony Computer Entertainment Europe Ltd., and Sony Computer Entertainment Korea Inc. develops, publishes, markets and distributes software, and manages the third party licensing programs for these platforms in the respective markets worldwide. Headquartered in Tokyo, Japan, Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. is an independent business unit of the Sony Group.

****

*Storage media (HDD, "Memory Stick", SD memory card, and CompactFlash) are sold separately. * "Dolby" is a trademark of Dolby Laboratories. * "DTS" is a trademark of Digital Theater Systems, Inc. * "CompactFlash" is a trademark of SanDisk Corporation. * "HDMI" is a trademark of HDMI Licensing LLC. * "Blu-ray Disc" is a trademark. * "Bluetooth" is a trademark of Bluetooth SIG, Inc. * All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

*"Memory Stick" and "Memory Stick PRO" are trademarks of Sony Corporation. * "PlayStation", the PlayStation logo and "PSP" are registered trademarks of Sony Computer Entertainment Inc.

©2005 Sony Computer Entertainment Inc. All rights reserved. Design and specifications are subject to change without notice.

PlayStation3 pic -- the real thing

The Sony PlayStation3. The actual machine, not some Photoshop fake. You'll be seeing a lot of this for, ooh, about the next six or seven years.

PS3 specs confirmed!

Still hot off the interwebnewswire -- the first OFFICIAL word on PlayStation3!

"Sony also confirmed the PlayStation 3, will use Blu-Ray discs as its media format. The discs can hold up to six times as much data as current-generation DVDs. It will also support CR-ROM, CDR+W, DVD, DVD-ROM, DVD-R, DVD+R. It also confirmed the machine would be backwards compatible all the way to the original PlayStation.

"Sony also laid out the technical specs of the device. The PlayStation 3 will feature the much-vaunted Cell processor, which will run at 3.2 Ghz and feature 2.18 teraflops of performance. It will sport 256mb XDR main RAM at 3.2 Ghz, have 256MB of GDDR VRAM at 700mhz, a detachable 2.5 inch HDD slot, six usb 2.0 ports, Memory Stick Duo, a SD slot, a compact flash memory slot, Compact flash slot, 2 hdmi outputs, 1 av multi out, 1 SPDIF optical output, and 1-gigabit Ethernet built in port

"The PlayStation 3 will also sport some hefty multimedia features, such as video chat, internet access, digital photo viewing, digital audio and video. Sony Computer Entertainment head Ken Kutaragi introduced it as a 'Super computer for computer entertainment'"

MORE HERE!.

Nintendo announces new Mario Brothers game SHOCK

It's Super Mario Brothers DS for Nintendo's new-ish handheld.

We're not going to bed until something more interesting and less CRUSHINGLY PREDICTABLE than this comes out of E3.

Super Mario Brothers DS

Japanese woman holding a thing!

TODAY: An Xbox 360. It's so white and clean she has to wear special Japanese medical gloves to hold it.

Nokia 6680 -- Best at something!

Best at "WCDMA"!

Woo! Yeah!

And Sony Ericsson declared "gay" as far as we can tell:

"There was a strong deviation in the results of these evaluations by Gender. Females strongly prefered the Sony Ericsson and NEC devices, whereas males exhibited a strong preference for the Nokia and Motorola handsets".

More here.

Nintendo Revolution logo

Perhaps, but almost certainly not, seeing as even the name "Nintendo Revolution" is only a codename.

We'll know the facts this time tomorrow, after Nintendo's E3 press conference.

New "hilarious" ring tone character

Not safe for work.

Brilliant, though.

headstaggers.com - Richard`s classy web site

Happy Monday!

And to celebrate, here's a photo of some Chinese girls holding some LG mobile phones.

LG mobiles go 5.0 megapixel

Here's LG's C960 -- the company's first FIVE megapixel mobile.

The chances of Phones4U letting us have one of these for free at our next upgrade are quite remote.



Some roughly-translated specs:

* Network: CDMA 1x
* 5 Megapixel Camera, w/flash, autofocus, macro mode, 12 continuous shots
* Swivel style design
* 72-note polyphony
* MP3 playback
* Video on demand service
* Mini SD card storage
* Infrared

Nokia goes for slice of MMORPG pie

ESPOO, Finland, May 16 /PRNewswire-FirstCall/ -- Nokia, the leader in mobile communications, announced today that hundreds of thousands of players will soon be able to connect through "Space Shooter" (working title), a massively multi-player online game (MMOG), available on selected Java-enabled cell phones through the Nokia SNAP Mobile service. Building on the success of Nokia's first Java MMOG, "Pocket Kingdom," this persistent online co-operative 3D game pits humanity against alien hordes in the backdrop of outer space.

"Our users told us they wanted deeper gameplay in the Java domain, so we're harnessing the power of Java to bring massively multi-player games like 'Space Shooter' and 'Pocket Kingdom' to phones," said Lisa Waits, head of Nokia SNAP Mobile. "And because our Nokia SNAP Mobile service can run on any carrier and Java handset - be it Nokia or some other - our community of users has huge potential."

"Space Shooter", developed by Monkey Business, is set in a persistent online world where players take part in a massively cooperative, ship-to-ship war against an attacking alien horde. A live moderator keeps the game fresh by guiding the alien fleets and adding new starbases, alien nests and other challenges.

"'Space Shooter' breaks new ground by requiring players to team up in order to counter actions taken by the moderator," said Burt Sloane, Monkey Business' Top Banana. "We're excited to partner with Nokia to bring this experience to players using Nokia SNAP Mobile solution." Like other titles for Nokia SNAP Mobile, "Space Shooter" offers friends list and chat, but also includes score reporting, leader boards, community news blog and offline message play.

"Space Shooter" is expected to be available on mobile phones later this year.

SNES emulator for PSP

Does exactly what it say on the Blog page:

PSP Hacker: Snes9x for PSP Minor Update

AIBO vs Daft Punk -- Dance MASH-UP

Everybody likes dancing robots.

Especially large corporations trying to sell us MASSIVELY OVER-PRICED toys for over a grand. Like Sony and its novelty pet dog AIBO.

Sony's organising a competition for AIBO owners to make their dogs dance and, annoyingly, win prizes. Like people with CASH TO BURN on things like AIBOs need to get MORE things free.

Anyway...



...more info here.

Jamie Oliver's Blog

And he has FORUMS!

You know what to do.

Jamie Oliver

Ikea -- Marriage saving

"Building furniture themselves enables men to regain their hunter-gathering instincts and be perceived in a more traditional light as males"

I am man. See me assemble a Frognetha bedside cabinet.

Ikea News.

London Underground -- DOOMED

"Full commercial roll-out" of mobile services on the underground.

Even in tunnels. :(

60 companies want to wire up the Tube | The Register

Official Xbox 360 specs

The full, official line on what Xbox 360 can do.

Turns out it can do quite a lot.

Click for a readable version.

iPod support confirmed for Xbox 360

That's the MICROSOFT Xbox 360, as in the same Microsoft that fights bitterly to the corporate death every day with Apple.

You can plug your iPod -- or any MP3 player -- in to your Xbox 360 and it'll recognise the device and start playing the music on it.

"We see the Xbox 360 as replacing your CD player in your entertainment center, but also as the best digital media amplifier available," said Xbox 360 product manager Barry Steinglass.

"Your PC is a great place to manage your music, but it's not always the best place to enjoy it. With Xbox 360 you've got one central place to listen to all your music on the best sound system in the house."

Keep your friends close and your MORTAL CORPORATE ENEMIES closer.

Gorillaz flash game

It's about peeling potatoes.

Or it might be an early prototype Nintendo Revolution controller, if you've been paying attention to video game news.

Offers AT LEAST two minutes of say-passing entertainment.

potato

BARGAIN DAY 2: Motorola Razr V3 Silver - Sim Free

Lost your phone? Had it taken off you at knifepoint by a gang of four 13-year-old boys?

Then get yourself a Motorola Razr V3 Silver -- Sim Free! -- for only £220.

Ebuyer's cheapo Motorola Razr V3

Sony Ericsson T630 -- For, um, FREE!

Not our Next New Phone, but a handy interim if you're also waiting for something better to come along.

You can't argue with FOR FREE as a price.

Buy Sony Ericsson T630 - O2 Sony Ericsson T630 Pay Monthly Mobile Phone On O2 100 + 100 Texts

PlayStation3 -- Billboard ad starts hype

This has been spotted in Los Angeles. It's Sony letting us know that it'll be revealing PlayStation3 next week at the E3 games show.

More exciting still is the rumour that Sony's planning iTunes support for its PS3, currently expected to launch in Japan in Spring 2006.

Project Gotham Racing 3 -- An Xbox 360 game that looks GOOD!

Finally. An Xbox 360 game that looks like you'd expect one to.

Nokia 9300 and 9500 Sega emulators!

This unofficial Sega Master System emulator for Nokia's Series 80 phones -- the 9300 and 9500 -- lets you run "thousands" of Sega Master System games on your smartphone.

An enhancement of the one already available for Series 60 cell phones, it's a snip at 9.99 euros.

Go here for the download.



You need to get some Sega ROMS from somewhere. Google it (but ignore the first page of SPAM results).

Mobile phone dog translator

In a sensational new development in mobile phone land, this Incomprehensible Korean web site refers to a new mobile phone service that "reads your dog's emotions through its barking".

So it's £1.50 a minute to tell you your dog wants either (a) a walk or (b) some food or (c) a pat.

Genius -- as long as you're the one cashing the cheque.

Nintendo Revolution -- Small

According to the New York Times:

Perrin Kaplan, Nintendo’s vice president for corporate affairs, said GameCube’s successor would be “very, very sleek.” She described it as horizontal and no taller than a stack of three DVD cases.

Unlike GameCube, the new system will play DVD’s, Ms. Kaplin said, and will feature a wireless controller. It will play GameCube games as well as a new class of high-definition games, with new emphasis on online play.

And be purple.

Xbox 360 -- woodgrain makes a comeback

Microsoft will try to cash-in on the "dad" market with its range of Xbox 360 customisable -- and more importantly BUYABLE from MS -- 360 face plates.

Robotic origami folding

It's all well and good having a robot that can do origami, but what happens when it turns its folding skills against its human masters and FOLDS US ALL TO DEATH?

Robotic origami folding

Crazy Frog MUST DIE

Crazy Frog -- the most hateful is it/isn't it ironic marketing scam of all time.

Now there's a full-length single and
video. :(

Free MP3 site listings

The MP3Blogs Aggregator keeps a list on all the blogs/sites/journals/BLEEDING HEART DIARIES that post up free MP3s for you to "sample".

There's thousands of them.

TIME SINCE WE LAST PAID FOR A RECORD: 7 months and a few days.

Namco signs up for Xbox 360

With a game called Frame City.

O2 -- UK mobile TV trial channels announced

O2 and NTL Broadcast today revealed the first batch of channels to be part of their line-up for the forthcoming Oxford mobile TV trial, including Cartoon Network, CNN, Discovery Channel, Sky Sports News and Sky Travel. The six-month trial - which marks a UK first - begins performance testing in July prior to roll out to 350 O2 customers early in September 2005.

NOT ONLY THAT BUT... "O2 will soon begin the process of recruiting triallists from the specified catchment area within the Oxford ring road: triallists will be between 18 and 45 years of age, and spend the majority of their day (i.e. live, work or study) in Oxford. Initially, handsets will be provided to all 350 triallists by Nokia - the new 7710 which, for the purposes of the trial, will come with a special DVB-H receiver"

A state of WAR new exists between Idiot Toys and the people of Oxford.

For the full, spec-heavy release go here.

Vodafone and Sharp trial digital TV on mobile phones

THE BAD NEWS: It's in Japan.



Digital TV on your Mobile Phone :: TechJapan :: English news on technology from Japan

Peferct Dark Zero on Xbox 360

"Hmmmm" is all we can say to this.

Or, maybe, "It looks as good as Halo 2".

Xbox 360 controller revealed

They're arranged in a circle. Expect everything to start being arranged in circles if it's to do with Xbox 360.

Xbox 360 games appear!

And so the Xbox 360 games start to appear.

As always with new console launches, the first games to break cover are Japanese -- usually always set in "feudal Japan" and featuring massive battles. And horses.

This one -- called Ninety-Nine Nights -- has all of the above, but, more importantly, gives us our first "in game" look at what Xbox 360 can do.

It can do LOADS.



Ninety-Nine Nights Korean info page.

*UPDATE* Robots now able to read your mind

"The neural net had accumulated 10 million synaptic associations. It has a 73% success rate of guessing what you thought"

And this is only in a child's "20 Questions" toy!

Imagine what NASA's got in its New Mexican bunkers.



Kevin Kelly -- Cool Tools

Nokia 6680 -- Review!

Some bloke has reviewed our Next New Phone, the Nokia 6680. He's a bit lukewarm on it, saying he doesn't like the way it looks.

But how can you not love THIS:



(We mean the phone, not the man). We're off to Carphone Warehouse at lunchtime to hold one for a bit.

Star Wars Darth Vader SPRINKLER

Mere days after the Nokia 3220 Star Wars Gift Pack Of Shame comes the... wait for it...

Wait for it...

The...

We're going to need a bigger font...

The...

The Star Wars Darth Vader Sprinkler!

Click here -- not to buy one, but to MOCK.



You may well live in a house with a garden, but at least we're not obsessed about a film for children.

Memo to self -- Remember Memo web site address

Are you getting quite forgetful thanks to years of binge-drinking?

This might come in handy.

Memo To Me - Free Reminder Service

Revenge of The Sith -- Domain THEFT!

Oh dear. George Lucas forgot to sign up his domain names before making his new little film.

Revenge of Thesith

Man sends 182,689 text messages in a month

Oh, so that was *him* on the train.

Sitting right behind us.

Smirking to himself.

Press, press, press.

Click, click, click.

Ring, ring, ring.

For THREE HOURS.

Man sends 182,689 text messages in a month

Much mobile phone shirt Japan from, sir!

It's a Japanese shirt with an "upside down" pocket to stop your phone falling out.

We don't uderstand how your phone stays in when you're the right way up, though.

*Something about the Japanese being crazy again*

More diagrams here!

"ROBOT MUST DESTROY"

They've made a robot that can repair itself and replicate. Remember this post, for it heralds YOUR DESTRUCTION.

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | US robot builds copies of itself

Sony PSP -- public humiliation!

Oh. Dear. First Sony's monster PSP ad billboard "crashed" now -- mirroring customer complaints of broken pixels in the handheld's display -- a chunk of the screen has fallen out.

We still want one more than... than... than... EVERYTHING, though.

Motorola i355 review -- "UGLY"

Jesus. And they wonder why Americans aren't into the whole mobile phone thing.

According to the official PR it's "the strongest ruggedized shell and best weatherproofing available to the market today" -- which means it's for FAT-FINGERED YANK REDNECK TRUCK-DRIVING MORONS.

So again, it's OK for us superior people to not like it.

Daphne & Celeste put it best.

Perfect Dark Zero on Xbox 360

This is the new-look Joanna Dark from Xbox 360 launch game Perfect Dark Zero. She’s gone all cool.

“"Joanna is the new Lara Croft”" newspapers will say. Just you wait.

Engrish -- Still funny

*Some sort of joke about the Japanese*

Engrish.com

Nokia makes cybersexing strangers easy!

It's the Nokia Sensor, a kind of mobile Messenger for chatting with random people -- probably desperate old men! -- through your mobile while on the move.

It's a free download from here.

And make sure you watch Nokia's demo -- it's like they're admitting people only use text messaging for arranging sex.



You will never meet "Tall Blond". You will only get messages from "Short Fat Old". Don't get in trouble.

Mobile TV on trial -- Free Nokia 7710 on offer :(

How do people get in free trials? We've never got anything for free, unless you count shoplifting magazines.

Mobile TV on trial in Oxford

HooAH! Bar -- Soldier chocolate!

You get free sweets in the army?

*SIGNS UP*

US Army HooAH! Bars go on sale.

Nokia 6680 -- Bargain of the Day!

A bewildering array of packages here, but there's a couple that let you have the Nokia 6680 for less than a tenner a month on some awkward 18-month contracts.

If we weren't LOCKED DOWN in a Phones4U contract that Houdini couldn't extract himself from, we'd be in.

e2save.com - Mobile Phone Retailer - 3 Nokia 6680 Mobile Phone

WiFi access, now calling at London, Bristol and Cardiff

Broadband, for "a small charge" at First Great Western stations.

Going to Cornwall on a Bank Holiday Friday night will be more bearable, thanks to being able to post on internet forums at the station.

More here.

Xbox 360 sucks already

There's somebody, possibly an American celebrity, ACTUALLY PLAYING on an Xbox 360. It doesn't seem to be holding his attention.

CONCLUSION: Xbox 360 SUCKS.

Nokia N90 photo samples -- POSSIBLE NEXT PHONE

Nokia's at it again with its attractive fashionable friends.




These sexy young darlings illustrate the camera quality of the Nokia N90 -- the posher, swisher, bendier sister of the N70.

Go here for more
full-size Nokia Official N90 photo samples.

Nokia 3220 Star Wars gift pack (of shame)

STAR WARS MERCHANDISE SHAME!

Are you, like, 40-odd and still wearing a Star Wars t-shirt?

Action figures on the desk?

Tickets for Episode III already booked in an expensive cinema you don't normally go to?

If so, you're the sort of IDIOT that's probably had one of these on pre-order for the last nine months:



It's a Star Wars branded Nokia 3220. Not even a decent phone, but it's GOT STAR WARS ON IT so that's OK.

Go here for more -- Nokia 3220 Star Wars gift pack

iRiver H10 6Gb Color -- Creative Zen Micro beater!

Not an iPod Mini beater, obviously, but still on the right side of "nice".

It's the older 5Gb H10 boosted with an extra gigabyte of storage, and it now comes in "stylish colours" and can display photographs. So can we! Look:



And ALL THIS:

- 4 Stylish Colors and a Tiny, Lightweight Package
- Simple Touch Scroll Interface
- 5GB/6GB internal memory holds up to 1,200/1500 songs
- Up to 12 hours of playback with detachable rechargeable battery
- Plays MPEG 1/2/2.5 Layer 3, MP3 VBR, WMA, JPEG, TXT, *FM radio
- Records voice, *FM radio and Line in(with Cradle)
(*H10 [pure] is not supported)
- Shows photos and texts with vibrant color display while playing music
- Connects to USB 2.0 port for high speed data transfer
- Synchronizes music with PC via iriver plus, digital jukebox program
(excluding US model; For more info on US version, please visit
iriveramerica.com)
- PlaysForSure enabled to play more of your music (US model only)
- Supports Window 2000/XP

For the full spec go here now.

An iPod Shuffle made out of SPAM

And Apple fans begin pre-ordering.



(SIX MONTHS LATER -- Microsoft partners with Creative Labs to promote Zen Sausage).

More meat/veg iPods here.

Xbox 360 specs leaked

Microsoft is the RUBBISHEST at keeping secrets.

---

2 types of Xbox Live:
Xbox Live Silver (no subscription required)
Xbox Live Gold (subscription benefits)

Features for Gold service
* Also for Silver
# Also for Offline

- Seamless transition to Xbox Live account from Xbox to Xbox 360
- Access to MMOs (additional fees may apply) *
- Free Xbox Live weekends *
- Multiplayer online gameplay
- Avatar for gamer profile * #
- Motto for gamer profile * #
- Personalized look for Xbox System Guide * #
- Offline achievments * #
- Online achievements *
- Access to other players' Gamer cards via Live *
- Cumulative gamer score * #
- Location/language profile * #
- Reputation *
- Enahnced matchmaking using above
- Skill level matchmaking
- Gameplay style profile (casual, competitive, etc.)
- Recent players list *
- Free and premium download game content *
- Free and premium downloadable movies, music, tv *
- Downloadable demos/trailers *
- Microtransactions *
- Custom playlist in every game * #
- Play music from portable devices * #
- View images from digital camera * #
- Strem media from Windows XP * #
- Interactive screen savers * #
- Track info for CDs * #
- Communication with voice, video or text *

360 HW:
1. Support for DVD-video, DVD-Rom, DVD-R/RW, CD-DA, CD-Rom, CD-R, CD-RW, WMA CD, MP3 cd, JPEG photo CD
2. All games supported at 16:9, 720p and 1080i, anti-aliasing
3. Customizable face plates to change appearance
4. 3 USB 2.0 ports
5. Support for 4 wireless controllers
6. Detachable 20GB drive
7. Wi-Fi ready

Custom IBM PowerPC-based CPU
- 3 symmetrical cores at 3.2 GHz each
- 2 hardware threads per core
- 1 VMX-128 vector unit per core
- 1 MB L2 cache

CPU Game Math Performance
- 9 billion dots per second

Custom ATI Graphics Processor
- 500 MNz
- 10 MB embedded DRAM
- 48-way parallel floating-point shader pipelines
- unified shader architecture

Memory
-512 MB GDDR3 RAM
- 700 MNz DDR

Memory Bandwidth
- 22.4 GB/s memory interface bus bandwidth
- 256 GB/s memory bandwidth to EDRAM
- 21.6 GB/s frontside bus

Audio
- Mulitchannel surround sond output
- Supports 48khz 16-bit audio
- 320 independent decompression channels
- 32 bit processing
- 256+ audio channels

2p texts and no sign-up -- BARGAIN OF THE DAY

Courtesy of us just remembering that Easymobile still exists.




They promise easy number porting "once you've signed up". We suspect they're exaggerating the ease. Last time we tried to 'port' a number we gave up, put the phone in a drawer, and continued paying the £20 a month until the contract expired.

Nokia 70 sample images -- DEFINITELY OUR NEXT PHONE!

Holy megapixels.

This is just a resized small version of what the N70 can do. It's a proper camera. The photos are AMAZING.

Click the link below to see the full size, 800k original on the Nokia press site.

Nokia N70 photo samples



You'll have to supply your own beautiful friends.

Samsung SCH-N330 - the UGLIEST phone in the WORLD!

But it's OK, it's only meant for Americans.

Panasonic A210 -- do it to yourself

We can amuse ourselves for hours browsing strangely-translated Japanese gadget web sites.

This one, for example, urgers readers to "communicate themselves" via the Panasonic A210.

It comes with (sigh) built-in emoticons.

Is there an emoticon for hating emoticons?

Anti-cellulite SHOES

Yes, really.

Complete with EXHAUSTIVE SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH to prove that they are true:



eBay item 7152969749 (Ends May-05-05 19:43:52 PDT) - Masai Anti-Cellulite Healer Shoes, mbt,3 patent

iPod frequency open

As the amazing diagram below explains, Japanese tech-toy company Logitec has made a twin battery-powered dongle -- one end for your MP3 player and another bit for your stereo -- designed to let you play your music via Bluetooth throughout the house.

This means that soon you'll be able to pay THREE TIMES THE RECOMMENDED RETAIL PRICE to own one on import.



The full Japanese explanation -- and MORE CRAZY DIAGRAMS!

Motorola E1000 -- £9.99 a month

POWERLESS... TO... RESIST...!

Is there a catch? We’re rubbish at paying attention to small print.

Does it go up to £99 a month after a year? Is the phone actually really rubbish, even though it looks like our long-lost and beloved old Nokia 6600? Something is wrong, surely?

Motorola E1000 -- for SUSPICIOUSLY CHEAP.



It's not a sponsored link or anything. We just like finding bargains.

MP3 earrings and necklace set. Ideal for... NOBODY

Or... it's also a great earring.

The Chinese must think the English are mental.

Today's smallest MP3 player

Now *this* is how to advertise your new "smallest ever" MP3 player!

The product is a Chinese JNC-SSF8000 -- a JVC knock-off -- and it's the size of a sugar lump.

Look, the stooopeed Engleeesh vooman has mistaken it for a sweetener for her English cup of tea! How English of her!

Come back tomorrow to see who's made a smaller MP3 player -- and if this woman CHOKED in a PR disaster or not.

More PSP things you WON'T EVER NEED

This cleverly combines two ENTIRELY POINTLESS things -- pikey racer Need for Speed and some sort of... of... of... STAND for your PSP.

Why does a handheld console need a STAND?

You have to have it in your hands to use it, so surely, since they're there anyway, you might as well also use your hands to HOLD IT as well?

Click here to NOT EVER BUY ONE. Luckily it's all in Japanese, further removing temptation.

Nokia 7710 review

All screen and no buttons makes the Nokia 7710 an odd boy, but a very pretty thing -- if a little too reminiscent of CAR CRASH DISASTER the Nokia N-Gage.

Posh newspaper the Independent likes it enough to give it 4.5/5, but we're still waiting for the Nokia 6680. Still. Waiting.



Nokia 7710 review

Nokia 7710 official site and specs.

Dear Future Me...

We've just sent ourselves an email to be delivered three years from now, saying we hope we're OK and haven't gone too far down the route of alcoholism and obesity and are getting on well with our plan to marry Katie Holmes and/or Paris Hilton.

What will you say to your future self?

Email yourself in the future at F u t u r e M e . o r g

The Nokia Concept Lounge

"Liquid phones, paper screens, laser kepyads" await in the future, says Nokia, in its bewildering 'Concept Lounge' -- a place where small children have gone to Teletubby-land.

With their mobile phones.

Visit the Nokia Concept Lounge. Try to imagine how much money Nokia blows on its web site each week.

PSP hacked to run games off Memory Stick!

Sony's cuter-than-cute PlayStation Portable has been BUSTED WIDE OPEN by the hacking scene, a mere six weeks after its US launch.

The handheld -- disgracefully not released in the UK and Europe until SEPTEMBER -- *is* capable of booting software from a Memory Stick, which is the good news hackers have been waiting for.

Pictured here is an emulated version of Super Mario, presumably running on a hastily converted SNES emulator.

Read more over at PSP Hacker.



Hopefully some decent media player apps will appear to replace Sony's awful implementation of movie support in PSP.

Sony 5GB Micro Vault Pro -- too expensive.

Shock! Big surprise, this one. Sony, the over-pricing KING OF THE GADGET WORLD, is knocking out a 5Gb memory unit for 220 Euros -- that's 150 Great English pounds, or, at today's exchange rate, a shade under ONE MEEEEELLION DOLLARS.

Does it also play MP3s? No. Will it break after six months like everything from Sony always does? [ANSWER EDITED ON LEGAL GROUNDS].

Microsoft Xbox 360 -- design by Apple?

Holy Jesus. It's the new Xbox, the Xbox 360 -- and you can STAND IT ON ITS END.

And the best news for cybergeeks is the thing at the bottom right - that's a webcam. Video chat in your lounge is frighteningly go.

You're going to need to buy some new t-shirts.



Or the xPod as web forum-using geeks have already christened it.

Boo! French get new Nokia 6680 first :(

Bloody Orange still lists it as "coming soon" :(

END THIS SUFFERING!

Loic Le Meur Blog: My new Nokia 6680

UK -- More mobile phones than people!

How? Why? How can there possibly be more mobiles than people in the UK?

"Mobile penetration in the UK, Sweden and Italy rose to 101 per cent, 103 per cent and 104 per cent respectively in 2005. The company expects the rest of Europe to reach 100 per cent by 2007, largely due to customers with more than one phone".

Madness.

Maybe the stats are counting all the ones we've lost over the past three years (four).

Motorola i605 -- Pour RAMPANT HOMME!

Let's all reassert our manliness by looking at the Motorola i605. It's for BIG MEN with REALLY BIG THUMBS. Men who sometimes DROP THINGS because they're always outside USING MACHINERY.

The only ring tone is Black Sabbath. Nothing animates.

Ten percent discount for lumberjacks and truck drivers.

(Not to be confused with anything slimline like the Panasonic X800).

Samsung E800 -- Not really for men at all

When we woke up this morning we didn't deliberately set out to make today "gay phones day" but some times, you know, things just happen.

It'll match your pink Juicy Couture tracksuit.

For slags, basically.

Sony Ericsson -- Pour Femme

No, wait. THIS is the girliest phone of all. It's OK, it's Japanese so there's no chance of you being forced to have it as your next upgrade.

***Remember to write something here about how crazy the Japanese are before posting update***

Siemens SL65 ESCADA -- Discrete, for ladies

It's pink, so probably meant for girls or men who know about moisturiser.

Same old Siemens SL65 underneath, it's just been Botoxed.

SL65 ESCADA Rockin’ Rio

PC gamers -- doomed to extinction

PC gamers now have the chance to repel girls even further -- by installing JetPakNG, a jetpack mod for Microsoft Flight Simulator.

Is there anything geekier?

NO.

JetPakNG - A things-to-come Flight Simulation

ACTIVATE CLOAKING DEVICE!

Protect Sensitive Information
•

Get Confidential Materials off your screen … FAST!
•

Instant Computer Privacy
•

Works with any application
•

Intuitive, Discreet and Fast
•

Easy to Install

And, more importanly, DON'T GET CAUGHT LOOKING AT PORN AT WORK.



StealthSwitch - The World’s First Desktop Cloaking Device

Hymoto MiniMoto -- IDIOT MACHINE

The most idiotic, pikey, council trash thing you can do is ride up and down a residential street on a mini motorbike.

Like our nextdoor neighbours (it's OK, they're too stupid to use the internet).

On one of these stupid mini motorbikes for IDIOTS, which only cost £269 and is bound to only encourage them.

It's hard concentrating on Location, Location, Location when someone's buzzing past our window on one of these deathtraps.

Make your Sony PSP look COMPLETELY RUBBISH

Sony's PSP is the sexiest gadget yet invented. It makes iPod look as cool and desirable as a false leg.

Unless, that is, you put one of these on the top of your beautiful PSP.

You will go from Alpha Male Early Adopter to LOSER status in as long as it takes to arrive from Hong Kong.



It's almost as unfashionable as being seen playing a Nintendo DS.

Bluetooth game pad

Jesus, this looks RUBBISH!

Do you want your vastly expensive and fashionable phone to look like something from a Russian hospital?

1970s Soviet Game Pad.

It works with Symbian (Series 60) mobiles, Microsoft's Pocket PC 2003 -- but you don't want one until they start making them in silver.

Notepad for Series 60

And so our Nokia 6600 gets even more indispensible!

This little app installs a perfect version of Windows Notepad on your Series 60 mobile, making it an ideal mobile sketchpad for "ideas". If you're the sort of person who writes down their ideas (please don't say it's only us who does that).

There's no need for it to cost a whopping $12 though.

Series 60 notepad.

Nokia N70

This is the Nokia N70. It is our next mobile phone.

It's series 60 -- like our beloved Nokia 6600 -- with a 2megapixel camera.

We've been pining for the 6600's successor the Nokia 6680 for months -- and it's only just gone on sale in the UK in the last few weeks. Now Nokia's shot itself in the foot by releasing news of a better Series 60 photo phone.

So we'll be waiting for this. Subtract one from your sales for this year, Nokia!

So, by the time this goes on sale, will Nokia have released news on its NEXT mobile? Almost certainly. The wait never ends. Where do you draw the line?

Girls Go Mad! (for mobile phones)

We love these photos!

Only in Japan.

The phone is some rubbish by Pantech, but she's loving it so who are we to criticise?

Do you want to come home and look at my plasma screen, love? It's HUGE! All westerners have bigger TVs, you know.

Motorola Ojo Personal Video Phone

Check the new Motorola Ojo Personal Video Phone. It has a stupid name, looks rubbish, costs $700 and is pretty much FINAL PROOF that video phones are never going to catch on.

Even the web site is a nightmare of downloading flash.

We are not living in the future yet.

Stupid buzzword makes people happy

Look at how happy they are! That's because they live in Ultrawideband world a place where everyone is happy because major corporations all work together to seel them unified solutions.



We're waiting for the MEGAPIPE.

You're stupid!

The only scam we ever fell for was a very convincing email from a pretend Barclays Bank asking us to resubmit our online banking passwords.

We're not stupid, it was a very convincing email.

BBC NEWS | UK | One in 20 'fall for online fraud'

Bitty-Man

This is the Bitty Browser -- a system that lets you install mini versions of your favorite sites within other sites.

We would do one for here, but all that RSS stuff is quite hard and always goes wrong.

Cool for geeks with blogs, though!

iPod Watersports!

Attending a surburban pee-party this weekend? You might need one of these for your iPod:

It's called an OtterBox. It has no practical application, other than being the sort of desperate last-minute birthday present you buy for someone you don't know anything about other than that they have an iPod.

I'll be getting one from my sister this year, then.

Click here to actually buy one.

How to Blog Anonymously

The guy below might need to use
this guide on anonymous blogging -- as might you if you're slagging off your boss on a web site every day.

Idiot Toys is run by three people who all operate and contribute on an equal level. No need for bitter blogging here. Eh, guys?

Mini-Microsoft -- the world's Most Likely To Be Sacked Person!

This here is a blog called Mini-Microsoft.

It's written by someone who works for Microsoft, but obviously isn't that keen on continuing to work for Microsoft.

He's been doing it since July 2004. Time is running out.

RE: The below post

Maybe the podcast network might help eradicate D12 from playslists across the world?

iPod mods

Despite the fact they're listening to D12, this person is obviously very clever:

Click here to visit an awesome gallery of iPod mods.



D12, though. The shame of it. Musical taste is a lot harder to modify than an iPod, it would seem.

Free WiFi for London!

Free wireless web access is yours if you live in the right bit of North London. Expect house prices in the area to re-rocket to pre-mini-slump levels of stupid expense.

And don't worry -- it's not just for useless Macs!

Source: Macworld UK - North London gets online

Nokia N91 -- MP3 hard drive super-phone!

The Nokia N91 comes with a 4-gigabyte hard drive -- that's the same as an iPod Mini or Creative Zen -- and features Bluetooth and WLAN connectivity for getting your tracks on wirelessly.

According the the press release:

"The Nokia N91 serves up to 12.5 hours of great sound via the included stereo headset with remote control. Enjoying your music collection has never been easier, as the Nokia N91 supports a wide range of digital music formats including MP3, M4A, AAC and WMA."

This will take over the world. As long as it costs less than £400.




For more photos: click here.

For the full press release and specs: click here.

To buy one: WAIT UNTIL SEPTEMBER! ARRGGHHHH!

Nokia N90 photo samples

Wow. As if the Nokia N90 wasn't cool/sexy enough already, some bizarre foreign site has got its hands on the actual hardware -- and taken some snaps of the inside of their house.



Annoyingly, the N90 would appear to take BETTER photos than the digital camera we paid three hundred bloody pounds for two years ago.

Bloody progress!

See the Nokia N90 photo samples. It's all in "foreign" but you get the idea.

Gahoo!Yoogle -- Unified! Search! Engine!

SEARCH DOUBLE-TEAM!

Here's a new search engine that gives results for both Google and Yahoo.

If you're really geeky, try seeing which sites Google displays that Yahoo filters out. Then write up the results on your blog. Hours of fun! Gahoo!Yoogle.com - Search

Xbox loses money -- "Let's make another one!" says Bill Gates

After four years, the Xbox division is still losing cash. So this is the ideal time to announce Xbox 2 -- or Xbox 360 as it'll be called -- to the world in two weeks time at the E3 video games show in LA.

Well done to all involved!

iPods fuel crime surge

N.Y. blames iPods for subway crime surge - Crime & Punishment - MSNBC.com

Well of course they do. Who doesn't want to smack those "distinctive white headphones" out of the ears of some posing commuter?

We had an iPod two years ago, then sold it because the battery started only lasting for three hours. We DESERVED a smack in the mouth and violent assault, too.

A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT COLOUR

Oh look. In a clever marketing ploy* Sony has released a silver version of its PS2 video game console. That's a great idea. No one's going to buy an Xbox360 now! (we're being sarcastic).

*We mean stupid marketing stunt

Nokia's stupid download scheme

The “Shawshank Redemption” -- which is a more than OK film -- has been chosen to spearhead a new range of downloadable mobile movies.

The problem is, it costs £16.99 from mobile phones stores, or can be ordered through the web for £19.99.

That's TWENTY POUNDS for a memory card loaded with ONE QUITE OLD FILM you've almost certainly already seen on TV. Twice.

More intelligent readers will realise that's obviously a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY AND THE EARTH'S DWINDLING NATURAL RESOURCES.

But the option's there. If you want to see a postage-stamp-sized film.

More info here.