China solves world energy crisis

24 AA batteries for £3! If they made cars or cookers that ran on AA batteries it'd be near limitless energy for minimal outlay.



Super Extra Heavy Duty. You can't get heavier duty than that.



And these ones were discounted to £1. Just to reiterate - that's 24 batteries for £1. Imagine the joy and excitement we felt as this was scanned in at the till, and the price really did come up as £1.



Problem is, they don't work. A brand new pair wouldn't even get a digital camera to turn on in 'play' mode. They literally do not work at all. China! You have made a powerful new enemy today.

Excavator KILLS MAN

This news is quite a bit less surprising. The whole internet owes LG an apology over the 'exploding phone death' story. This is how that man really died:

"I was reversing the excavator, and suddenly I couldn't see Seo any more. I ran out and saw him lying on the ground, bleeding, with his clothes on fire. All this happened so quickly, I was scared, so I lied that the battery exploded and killed Seo."

This photograph captures the moment LG's chairman received the fantastic news about his company not killing people.

Today's sale at the UK Apple store

Massively over-priced goods reduced to quite over-priced:



That, for example, is a stunning FOUR PERCENT discount. Feel marginally insulted once again by Apple here.

COMPULSORY UPDATE REGARDING THE ROBOT DENTISTRY WOMAN

She has muscles powered by air pressure, realistic skin, and a mouth that opens really rather wide. This is the YouTube video we were born to upload.



You're also allowed - and encouraged! - to inflict pain on her in the mouth. It is not too late to train for a career in dentistry. You at least get to be near humans on a daily basis and occasionally come into contact with a lady's saliva.

Headphones, or MP3 players, or sunglasses, or watches, or Korean privacy laws

Literally no idea what this photo is about or what's happening.



All we know is most girls don't smile so much when you go and press your face against their face, even if you're saying it's because you like the music they're listening to.

Mobile phone KILLS MAN

This is as good a reason as any to turn off all your communications devices and just sit inside, watching telly and cuddling a pillow like it's another person.



The most shocking aspect of the Korean man's death is that the phone was not a Sony product. It was from LG.

Hopefully LG will sweep this incident under the carpet and carry on getting weird-looking models to wave phones around in bikinis after a short period of respect.

This is EXACTLY what we meant

See? Had we stupidly ordered this on Monday we'd now be 1p out of pocket.



God knows how cheap it'll be by next week.

Robot with "soft hands and fingers"

Finally they're starting to understand what the real driving force behind the adoption of robots in the 21st century home will be. Ladylike hands and an arm that never gets tired.



The hand-job robot is called Twendy one. It can pick up a loaf of bread without crushing it, so you can trust even the tenderest and most raw body part to its firm grip.

Fuji Xerox does 'The Business'

Textbook business. A photocopier. A navy blue suit. A white blouse. Sensible shoes. A patronising name tag. The only problem with this shot is her face - no one smiles in the business world.



In Korea, it is customary for all women to hand out photocopies of their bottoms to senior male staff when joining a company.

BORING CHRISTMAS PRESENT LIST ENTRY #2: A massive SD card

Being aggressive consumers, it's impossible to buy a memory card. They're always cheaper tomorrow. Wait a week and you can get an extra few hundred MBs. Plus companies that sell them charge you £4.99 to post something the size and weight of a postage stamp. The whole memory card scene is a nightmare.



So let mum take care of it, even though having to demand the bigger, more expensive model feels like being rude.

GeCube's Radeon HD 3850 and 3870

They're quite big. Either there's a lot of environmentally unsound polystyrene in that packaging, or this is not going to fit in our PC.



Fortunately, the Idiot Toys PC was manufactured in late 2002 and is mainly used to operate legacy versions of web browsers and store Pet Shop Boys MP3s on its increasingly fragmented and noisy hard drive.

Not buying or caring about graphics cards is one less thing to go through life feeling inadequate about.

Some sort of Sony MP3 voice recorder

What are they interviewing her about? Jumpers? Hair? How wide is too wide?



Unbelievably awful display work from the electronics powerhouse. Even "emerging markets" have moved on from this sort of cheesy 1970s catalogue set-up. The "hand-on-chin" is one of the biggest cliches in photography! He'll never work again.

*Jingle* Promotional image of the weeeeek

Yeah, that's right lads. You just sit there mucking about with photographers and authors and having your photographs taken. Those three children trapped on the upstairs floor will probably rescue themselves eventually.



Of course, firefighters do a very important job. Someone's got to stay up all night watching pornography.



We won't mention this.



Or this.



Or these.

POSSIBLE NEXT NEW CAMERA: Fujifilm Instax Mini 7

Excuse me! Excuse me, please! Professional photographer coming through!



Yes, I am a journalist. These photos are for The Sun and a variety of magazines. You have to let me in for free.

BORING CHRISTMAS PRESENT LIST ENTRY #1: A Nintendo Wii

Not to have. To sell in the new year on eBay for twice the RRP to people who've fallen for the whole thing and believe that it is good in some way. Right now, poor parents are buying second-hand £179 Wiis for £250 on eBay. It's the most staggeringly odd situation.

The problem will come on Christmas morning. Feigning excitement will be easy thanks to years of practise over jumpers and CDs we didn't even ask for - managing to keep the thing sealed and in its box to protect its resale value will be the hard part.



Sorry to go ruining the Christmas spirit, but it's all about getting back more in value that you spend on others. Wii's still the number one cash generator. A couple of these to sell is the dream. Any additional games would be a welcome bonus.

The HP Dragon laptop with a 20" screen

You're going to need a bigger lap. Sadly, HP doesn't believe in hiring pale Korean ladies to point at it in amazement like it's the laptop Jesus checked his email on for the very last time, so here's one of it on a white background.



It weighs 15.5lbs, so would've required at least six flimsy Korean ladies to lift it above waist height. That would've blown the ad budget for Q1 2008. On the plus side, it'll keep your legs and genitals warm for the winter, and the 20" screen goes up to 1920x1200 for nicely displaying the sort of pictures you look at on the laptop in bed.

Samsung's 8 megapixel mobile phone sensor

Soon even your toothbrush will be able to take higher resolution photos than most people's actual proper cameras.



It's a thing to go in phones that can take eight megapixel photos. This is only mildly exciting, so we don't expect this to get more than two comments on this one. And both of those should be about it sucking.

BREAKING BATTERY NEWS: Powerex IMEDION revealed, UK distribution deal confirmed

It's a rechargable so isn't all that exciting, but they do promise longer life and a better hold of charge when not in use. Plus they look all black and modern.



These babies can retain "up to 85% of its charge even after one year of storage" - very impressive! We have requested a review sample. Updates soon.

Powerex IMEDION Batteries - "Ready When You Are"

IMEDION a new generation in batteries. Unlike traditional NiMH batteries, IMEDION can be stored for an extended period of time without substantial loss of power and are ready to use out-of-package. As the name suggests, the IMEDION batteries will be "ready when you are!"

A common problem that plagues rechargeable batteries are, they need to be recharged about once every one to three month even if they are not used. Maha tackled this issue by developing advanced electrode materials to reduce the rate of power loss during storage. As a result, the IMEDION batteries retain up to 85% of its charge even after one year of storage (at a room temperature of 20 deg C).

The IMEDION batteries differ from the competition in that they boast a longer lifetime as well as increased power retention under warmer environments. The IMEDION batteries can be recharged for hundreds of times and perform extraordinarily well at elevated temperatures. In addition, the IMEDIONS feature a low-impedance design and can deliver a high burst of current.

The IMEDION batteries are fully compatible with all Powerex chargers and are available in 2100mAh capacity for AA size and 800mAh for AAA. The selling prices £12.95 for a 4 AA pack and £11.95 for a 4 AAA pack, respectively.

Founded in 1993, Maha Energy Corporation designs, manufactures and markets batteries and chargers under one roof. Armed with a robust core technology portfolio and a precision manufacturing operation, Maha seeks to provide consumers, professional and companies with the state-of-the-art products.

Nevada are UK distributors for Maha and the Powerex range of batteries

EDITORS NOTE: High res pics available. Powerex Batteries are distributed in the UK by Nevada.

The magnetic self-loving charms of the Philips Aurea LCD range

She likes this one. She likes it a lot. It's unlikely a woman has ever liked a TV this much before. And if they have, it's been in secret and has never been captured on camera then put on the internet.



The TV is looking on menacingly. God knows what it's doing to her with its stand.



She either REALLY LIKES the TV, or she's about to lez-up with her own reflection. This is nonsense! Say what you like about the Koreans, but at least their product photography never strays into teenage boy lesbian fantasy world.

LG's Voyager and Venus

There's something unsettling about this scene.



That one's too close to the camera, while the other one's too weird looking and the background's like something from a sci-fi nightmare. These phones will be discontinued inside a month.

We have an Asus R50A-induced headache

It does too much stuff. The level where things start to do too much stuff has been reached. Less would indeed be more. One side needs to just have an on/off switch to calm it down a bit.



The R50 earns respect for looking a bit like a Game Gear, but loses points for requiring the brain and dexterity of Lieutenant Commander Data just to work out how to get some MP3s to play.

Woman allowed to hold big disc thing

She looks terrified!



Hold on tight, Li-Wan! The future of holding is in your nervous little hands.

AVING SPECIAL REQUEST! Something else about the Game & Game Championships

AVING has requested we do another update about the GGWC. The finals are happening in Korea. Isn't that exciting? Maybe in 2012 they will come to the UK!



It's not scary when women make really rubbish fists.

PARROT - The new world leader in promotional photography!

The low-profile audio manufacturer has exploded onto the product display scene with this staggering collection of product photography.



There's no messing about here - it's the finest, most ambitious collection of product photography the world has ever seen.



This shot has real depth. She has fire in her eyes. They have scoured the planet to find the very finest holders. Finally, the balance of power in the product display scene has tipped in favour of the Western companies!



Some of the pics are supplied as 40MB CMYK TIFs. These guys know their image shit. They don't know their web hosting acceptable use policies, but they are good at taking emotionally devastating photographs.



This one tells a slightly strange story about a very, very lucky man.



Aspirational power businesswoman. She's off to Brussels to stand up for equality and will not be taking non or nein for an answer.



Just plain old MAN BUSINESS.



Business with an air of sexual tension. This is what it's like when we all get together to discuss future strategy for the development of Idiot Toys.



This one is for the European market.



They can also do serious, utilitarian product photography and have a good knowledge of macro settings.



Yet they also have a sense of humour!



And glamour!



Avant-garde new-wave European holding. This is telling an amazing story. They had a fight. She thought he cheated on her, but that phone number was the number for Isabelle's - the restaurant he'd booked to celebrate their anniversary. He stayed out all night drinking and playing cards. She went home and cried. The next day the Parrot Boombox brought them both back together somehow, so they went into town and got married, then had sex in the church (the sex scenes were very explicit).



And this lot is just the tip of Parrot's sensational product display berg. Enjoy the majestic offerings and hammer their bandwidth until they password protect their genius output and it is lost forever.

Something to stare at endlessly for today

Random Japanese girls doing things on the internet in the name of intercontinental viral marketing.



Sorry we didn't do a search engine field joke. We'd already gone and created the image before remembering it is customary to put "BIG COCKS" or something similar in the Google search bit.

Introducing... the Samsung Twins

Actually there's only one of them, but it's always good to spend six hours refreshing those fading Photoshop skills on work time every now and again.



This is the raw material. It was a series of photos in which the girl stood on both sides of the 'equipment'. This update is entirely pointless, really. We can't even mention the model name of the TV or the specs of the amp thing, as it was all in Korean.



There should be a third picture below this one, featuring a horse, no less than five penises and enough pink to set off your IT department's automated porn filter. But we have shareholder responsibilities to think about these days.

"Please let go of my arm"

"You are hurting me"



"I do not like it when you touch my breasts"

What's the point in going to all that effort to make a sexy robot if you're going to make them moan about being abused? Yet another gadget we will only consider buying once the firmware has been hacked.

Amazon's Kindle electronic book thing

Poor old Amazon still thinks it's 1996, and we're still all impressed by the limitless potential of digital media. Hence the Amazon Kindle - an electronic book. All the inconvenience of a battery-powered device, with none of the benefits of having a hard drive to hide pornography on:



It can run for 30 hours, which isn't particularly impressive for a book. Some proper books came out more than 100 years ago and are still going. It also costs $399. And requires a subscription. All this, just to read books. It's a rare case of technology making a thing significantly worse for everyone.

Dog perfume

What this country needs is a long and painful recession, so all the stupid companies making rubbish novelty items like this go bust.



Not just dog perfume, but £38 dog perfume. If you really want a nice smelling dog, get some market stall fake human perfume for £2, plus an extra couple of bottles for mum and your sister this Christmas.

Petite Amande Dog Fragrance by Mungo & Maud

London's most prestigious dog & cat outfitters, Mungo & Maud is excited to introduce their 'Petite Amande' Dog Fragrance, the world's first premium Eau de Toilette fragrance made specially for dogs. Mungo & Maud's Creative Director, Nicola Sacher, engaged the help of well-known 'nose', Lyn Harris, to create this unique scent.

The stylish packaging and sophisticated glass bottle houses a gentle fragrance inspired by nature with notes of French blackcurrant, Tunisian neroli, mimosa and violet leaf on a base of sweet vanilla bourbon...with a little almond. As with the entire Mungo & Maud range, all ingredients and materials have been carefully chosen and are of the highest quality. The perfume is complemented by a specially formulated dog shampoo.

"For some time we had wanted to create an original fragrance for dogs made with refined ingredients that wouldn't overpower the senses. A scent that would refresh the dog and appeal to the human nose too. I have admired Lyn Harris' work for years and thought that her more natural sensibilities would work perfectly for this project," says Nicola Sacher of Mungo & Maud.

Mungo & Maud opened its first store in the heart of London's village scene on Elizabeth Street in May 2005. On identifying a gap in the market for beautifully designed products for dogs and cats, husband and wife team Michael and Nicola Sacher founded this stylish new concept in dog and cat stores. Mungo & Maud's ethos is to both design and source elegant, well-designed accessories for a contemporary lifestyle.

Notes to Editors:

• The Petite Amande fragrance range starts at £15.95 for the 500ml shampoo and £38.00 for the 50ml Eau de Toilette

• Product is exclusively available from Mungo & Maud, 79 Elizabeth Street, SW1, Tel: 020 7952 4570 and select stores throughout the UK

• http://www.mungoandmaud.com

Unnatural promotional pose of the week

"In this box is where I keep the trophy clippings of hair"



Their pain radiates from the screen! Neither of them wants to be there, doing that, with each other, wearing those clothes, standing like that, having their photo taken, or even alive.

Team Pantech debuts 2008 uniform

Classy from the waist up (business products), slutty from the waist down (leisure products), this versatile outfit will be bringing Pantech product booths to life over the coming year.



Show organisers might not be too happy with the denim, though - and those legs will have to be covered up when the Asian Expo is held in Kabul next August (the 2008 Asian Expo was awarded to Kabul way back in 1991, before the current 'troubles').

Tetris appears on its 215th hardware format

This one's on a watch by Nixon. It just about has the processing power to do it justice, and that d-pad looks more up to the job than Xbox 360's.



We may be a little bit bored of Tetris by now, but it's still preferable to playing games about shooting aliens aimed at American retards.

COMPETITION

How many gadgets can you spot?



Winner gets to stand near one of them in silence for a period of 20 minutes.

BIG PRINTER ALERT!

Now here's a first in product display - the "sit on":



Staggering. Hopefully her weight isn't interfering with the paper output! You wouldn't want to have to wait for another one of those to print out.



This update is dedicated to test-demonstrator Moon Ho-Yin, who lost both legs and her right arm while attempting a "sit on" on the feed tray.

Make the ultimate in romantic gestures this Christmas

She'll love it because it's jewellery which means you love her more than Teen Topanga and Kate from Kate's Playground...


...and you'll love it because every time you see it you start laughing uncontrollably. It is a shame ring shops don't have comments beneath the articles.

Nokia N82 and LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Here's a picture of Nokia's new N82. The image on the screen shows a couple in a restaurant. They are having their photo taken secretly by someone else who is using a Nokia N82. This tells us the N82 has the option to turn off the "KERCHICK" noise and flash so you can easily take secret photos of people. That's a killer feature.



Women don't like it very much when you take their photos in public places without asking - god knows how mad they'd be if they caught him doing this.



Now he's taking a photo of the ceiling to put them off the scent. He is probably an art student. Tomorrow he will print it out at uni, then put it up on the wall. No one will comment on it. It will get taken down by a cleaner and thrown in the bin three days later.



Here's another photo he took of the couple having their dinner. It would appear to be a lesbian couple. Or perhaps they are just friends. Or perhaps the one on the left is a very geeky man. We will never know.

Samsung's 128GB flash card and SOME MASSIVE HANDS

Granddad here's having the time of his life, demonstrating today's innovative thing from Samsung. It's a 128GB memory card thing to go in laptops.



As ever, the man is holding the big and important thing for safety reasons. The girls have been given little pretend ones made out of sugar, so they don't feel marginalised and belittled. Even though they actually are being marginalised and belittled, first by Samsung there then again by us here.



Uh-oh. He has just realised his wife will eventually see these photos on the internet.

POSSIBLE NEXT NEW CAMERA: Ricoh GR Digital II

It ticks all the boxes. Kooky manufacturer. Looks a bit odd and like the sort of thing an outsider might use. Black, which goes against the silver grain. Could even be a camera that takes film. Doesn't say how many megapixels it has, which means you'll still be able to get it out in public five years from now.



And the original Ricoh GR got some good reviews, as we learned during our last MUST HAVE A NEW CAMERA frenzy. But we're waiting to see what bargains can be had when Jessops goes bust after Christmas before rushing into anything.

BIG BATTERY: The SEC CELLYTE 2CMT Modular/Tubular AGM Sealed valve regulated VRLA battery line fitted with VRLA Catalyst

The SEC CELLYTE 2CMT Modular/Tubular AGM Sealed valve regulated VRLA battery line fitted with VRLA Catalyst looks pretty big. And it comes with a flame retardant case so could potentially be very dangerous.



Sadly there isn't a pound coin next to it for scale. Unless there is, and you just can't see it as it's so very big.

Asus has been to B&Q

This is the Asus Ecobook, finished off in Floormaster Cherry Lacquered Plank by the looks of it.



Actually it's bamboo, no doubt harvested from sustainable sources managed entirely by lesbians, which makes the idea of an environmentally friendly laptop all the more pretentious. The case is closed as they're still working on the slate display technology.

A battery for CARS

Not a car battery, they're boring and old. This is a battery for cars, one that makes the wheels go round. It is Sanyo's gigantic Li-ion rechargeable battery for sticking into hybrid cars.



It's hard to get a sense of scale here, but if that's a man's arm to the right of the picture this battery must be HUGE. Maybe we should dedicate the next three weeks to tracking down images of the largest batteries in the world? That would be very exciting.

The Nokia N8800 "Sapphire Arte"

OK, we take back what we said yesterday. We prefer it when Nokia gives its phones boring numbers rather than ludicrous names like "Sapphire Arte."



What a rubbish phone. It hasn't got any buttons. How can Nokia make such a basic mistake? A phone without buttons is a stupid idea. You need buttons to...



Oh right. The buttons are under a flap. Still, we'd rather have an N0235 than something called a "Sapphire Arte", especially as the Sapphire Arte is aimed at "the most discerning and style-conscious consumers."

"BY TAPPING THE STEEL SURFACE BELOW THE DISPLAY, AN ANALOGUE CLOCK APPEARS - INDICATING TIME IN ITS MOST CLASSIC FORM"

Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte are destined to excite style-conscious consumers

Espoo, Finland - Nokia today unveiled a premium pair of handsets aimed at the most discerning and style-conscious consumers. The new Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte bring 3G capabilities to the highly acclaimed Nokia 8800 series which features an elegant and sophisticated design theme that takes inspiration from nature and sets it apart from the crowd. The Nokia 8800 Arte will start shipping in the fourth quarter of 2007 with an estimated retail price of 1000 EUR before taxes and subsidies. The Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte will follow in the first quarter of 2008 and retail for approximately 1150 EUR before taxes and subsidies.

"These two new handsets set the benchmark for quality and craftsmanship," says Heikki Norta, Senior Vice President, Mobile Phones, Nokia. "The high-end materials and seamless surfaces are pleasing to touch while the sophisticated, minimalistic design is equally satisfying to the eyes. An obsessive attention to detail means that the Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte are engineered to last."

The Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte combine elegant appearance and uncompromised functionality. On the surface, the seamless metal and glass body gives the Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte an incomparable sense of style, while under the skin their hearts are driven by pure innovation. By tapping the steel surface below the display, an analogue clock appears - indicating time in its most classic form. Incoming calls on a Nokia Arte handset can be silenced gracefully with the "turn-to-mute" feature - allowing owners to quiet their phone inconspicuously by simply turning over the phone, screen-side down. Other state-of-the-art features include:

- Stunning 2.0" QVGA 240x320 pixels, OLED display with up to 16 million colors
- 3.2 megapixel auto focus camera with 8x digital zoom
- 3G capabilities
- 1 GB built in memory space
- MicroUSB all-in-one-connector
- Anti-fingerprint coating on metal and glass

Both the Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte feature a high-end metal and glass composition, creating their classic, iconic style. A smooth slide mechanism - comprised of state-of-the art ball bearings and a unique spring mechanism - ensures each handset is a pleasure to touch and behold. The Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte adds to the sense of exclusivity by further enhancing its polished steel case with a genuine sapphire gem stone and an accent of soft leather, creating an even more rich, sensual feel.

Continuing a tradition of incorporating exclusive soundtracks in its premium handsets, Nokia has invited the internationally-acclaimed master producers Kruder & Dorfmeister to add their standout musical style by creating a unique compilation for these new devices. Owners of the Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte will be able to enjoy an exclusive videotrack and soundtrack composed by Kruder & Dorfmeister with visuals by Fritz Fitzke - adding an extra touch of sophistication and individuality to both handsets.

Each handset comes with an assortment of mobile accessories that further complement the exquisite experience of the Nokia 8800 Arte and Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte. This includes the elegantly designed Nokia BH-803 Bluetooth headset with Active Noise Cancellation and touch sensitive volume adjustment. To add an element of sophistication and security, each handset comes with a leather pouch with a linen-lining and a separate matching desk stand.

Cyberdyne/Skynet update

Here's a prototype Cyberdyne development. At the moment, it looks like Cyberdyne is just making bumbags for robots - BUT WE KNOW WHERE THIS IS ALL LEADING.



Also, the UK is speeding up development of its military satellite system, which is called Skynet. Estimated time until human eradication programme begins: three years, five months.

Nokia used to be better at coming up with phone names

One minute of silence please, as we remember awesome phone names like 'Senator', 'Technophone' and 'Cityman', thanks to this big photo of every Nokia phone ever (bar a few international editions and very recent things).



Stolen off of some man's Flickr account.



Were we really using such horrendously ugly things as recently as 2001?

No one queues for iPhone

Despite what you may have read in, say, newspapers and seen on, say, the television, the people of the UK didn't go mad for iPhone. They didn't queue. There wasn't a frenzy. Reports of frenzies were prepared in advance by people too SCARED of the TRUTH.



These pictures have been stolen from some mobile phone blog. It has a nice collection of empty store front shots, which brings back happy memories of past wars fought on UK soil. This one is best by a mile.



These photos were obviously taken some time before the 6.02pm launch, mind, which is the exact sort of bias, agenda-fitting reporting we love.



Aylesbury. Beautiful, desolate Aylesbury. Apparently there were "about 15" people outside the Regent Street Apple store at 3.00pm, not the crowds of thousands you may be reading about today.

Toshiba makes a mockery of HD and itself

This is the Toshiba RD-A301. It's a hard drive/DVD recorder that has the ability to record HD video at HD resolution. It can also mash HD material down to MPEG4 and save two hours of this HD footage on a regular DVD - much like the existing HD movie piracy scene does.



It pretty much makes HD DVD and Blu-ray pointless. Extra pointless, if that's possible.

iPhone a bit of a flop in Germany

Results just in! German shops have "plenty" left according to Reuters, after some retailers attempted a midnight launch last night. This is almost as exciting as watching PlayStation3 arrive in a coffin.



German Apple fans look exactly as you'd imagine them to.

It's the iPhone UK launch day then

We played with a demo model a few days ago. We are sad to report it is very nice. If you are weak, you should not go near one as you may get sucked in. Just wait six months until the Koreans have made a good clone that's half the price.



Hello then. Now go away for six months and spend that time reviewing iphone deals, then come back again when you've got 3G support and come for free on a £16 a month contract with unlimited data downloads, and have been hacked to run a Mega Drive emulator.

Sony tells it like it is for once

It's the Sony TWA/T camera case. Everyone's done something on this already this week, but we've never let that stop us in the past.



Nice leathery flaps.

Now Samsung is accused of overselling

Hot on the heels of the Microsoft overselling scandal comes this from Samsung. There's no way this will be allowed to stand.



You do not need space ballet dancer regalia to demonstrate a washing machine. Household appliance = jeans, t-shirt and sensible shoes, no matter how 'fancy' and modern the appliance may appear.

Sony Ericsson K660i - and LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

This concludes Sony Ericcson day. Hopefully no more phones will be announced until at least Q2 2008.



It's the K660i. It is supposed to be meant for people who use the "web" while "on the go". It is therefore aimed at people who don't mind handing over vast sums of money to phone companies every month for the privilege of looking at a few web pages in a very awkward and slow manner.



The colour is called "White and Lime". She's showing him a photo of how funny sex looks from her perspective.



This hold is way too unnatural and rigid. This isn't a studio shot, girlfriend! You need to bring it to the next level and get some emotion in there.



"Yeah, I really liked all those updates you did about the phones today. Yeah, I'll be home soon. Yeah, you can put it anywhere you like. Yeah, even there. Yeah, I'll buy some biscuits for after. Yeah, we can watch The Wrath of Khan again."

Sony Ericsson W890i - and LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

This is the high-end music one for people who want to use their phones as tools to give record companies some of their money.



It comes in "Mocha Brown."



Jesus. This photo was sent out at a resolution of 6144 x 4096. The tag data shows it was taken with a Canon EOS-1DS Mk II. Please don't click on it. It'll use up a whole month of bandwidth and you'll have to look at a page saying "ACCOUNT ERROR - PLEASE CONTACT SITE ADMINISTRATOR" until December 1st.



And here's a better shot of her elbow. Someone's just flicked an elastic band into the poor girl's ear. She's taking it in the good humour it was intended.

Sony Ericsson W380i - and LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY!

Sony Ericsson has been very busy. This means that we are going to be very busy today. Luckily, time flies when you're resizing and uploading LIFESTYLE photography issued by a major corporation!



This is just one of the phone to get started with. It's kind of an OK phone if you're into the whole clamshell scene. But we're not really interested in the phone.



We are interested in these. The ratio of interest is 70:30.



Sharing the Happy Times (TM).



"Wow! We have the same tastes in shit bands that are signed to Sony-affiliated labels!"



Yes, very cool, but you won't feel so urban when it falls out of your pocket on the station platform and everyone watches you scrabbling for it while stifling their laughs and hoping that it's broken.

Sony Ericsson MD 300 PC mobile web dongle

Here's a thing we definitely remember inventing in our heads about four or five years ago. It's a USB phone/modem that lets you connect to a mobile network with your PC or laptop. This means no more being tempted to spend £6.99 on accessing a T-Mobile hotspot at the airport just to find out you haven't got any emails.



Rubbish mobile network 3 has been doing a similar thing for a while. But things 3 do don't count. The thought of having one mobile connection that's also your only broadband connecting that you take with you wherever you go, is, sadly, quite exciting.

Whimsical?

Not entirely sure what expression she's aiming for here. It might be 'sweet' or it could be 'I love you so much I just went through all your text messages to see if you've talked to any other women this year and if I ever find any I'm going to kill you and then me'.

Those shoes are a bit unnecessary, but there's some good fingering going on.



This thing in the Samsung M4650. That model number trips off the tongue beautifully. It does Windows Mobile 6, has a touch screen as evidenced by the stylus so we probably didn't really need to point that out, and that screen is a very decent 2.8".



No, wait, judging by how big it looks here that screen's the size of a girl's head so is about (checks freezer compartment) 9".

Fujitsu Lifebook S6510

Here's an idea for a new job. Be the person who paints logos onto women. You'd have to sit really close to them for at least an hour! You could feel her breath and smell what shampoo she uses. It would be quite like having a girlfriend, probably.



The Lifebook has a 14.1" screen, a Core 2 Duo T7700, a webcam, 2GB of RAM and a 160GB hard drive. Sorry that's a bit boring to read, but we need to start mentioning the statistics of things a bit more often else people will start to think we're some sort of joke site.

LG launches new phone in Europe!

Which means we get statuesque French chicks for a change! See how long their fingers are!



Beautifully intricate stylus work. They're both pointing with precision, while managing to maintain eye-contact with the viewer. The one on the right has allowed the screensaver to activate, but this could be purposeful to show the maker's logo. The judges will have to clarify the legality of using a stylus on a screensaver.

This photo is great on both key levels; (1) it shows technically sound holding, and (2) it features women you would definitely have to were the opportunity to present itself.

3 Mobile's Skype phone and the world's worst photographer

Now we know the gadget is always the most important part of the photoshoot, but they could've made a bit of an effort here. It shows a frightening lack of awareness from the photographer. Her arms can't be that long, surely?



The poor girl doesn't have the nicest or most symmetrical of faces, but she deserves better treatment than this. It's rude, quite simply.

Woman REALLY INTO music

One for rock, one for pop, one for hip hop, plus a spare one full of ironic 80s tunes to really get the MP3 DJ party started.



What LG's really saying here is the memory capacity is so tiny and the battery life and reliability so poor you might need a few spares to get through a day.

'Ice Queen' Rumilla Manatova tempted out of retirement by LG

The handwork isn't up to modern standards, but those eyes! They still burn!



Rumilla is pictured here in Auckland, New Zealand, where the southern hemisphere outdoor holding season is about to begin.

INNOVATIONS IN HOLDING: Sanyo Xacti debuts 'The Octopus'

Brave holder Lan-Wen Po thought her holding career was over when she slipped and fell into a radioactive octopus tank and was hideously disfigured.



Now she is Korea's most famous waterproof-thing-holder, earning upwards of $1,000,000,000 a year. Thanks to those suckers, she hasn't dropped an expensive prototype yet.

Desperate Samsung resorts to cuddly toys

Times are hard. Rampant LG is cracking out the bikini whores. What is a tech company to do?

Wave around a fake Chinese Snoopy.



Flailing and clueless, like a whale on a beach. It is white, the white of SURRENDER AND DEFEAT. Luckily, Samsung's washing machine division is on an upward trend and can support this tired old mess.

And what is she signalling with the one red fingernail?

AVING UPDATE! Game&Game World Championship 2007 happened!

For some strange reason, AVING has asked us to link to this post of theirs about the Game&Game World Championships. This is clearly some sort of test to see if we are worthy of maintaining our prestigious BOLD LINK link on the awesome AVING network, so we have to oblige.



And we nearly did something on this photo anyway, although we would've cropped out the logo and said it was taken at the World Virginity Losing Championships.

Microsoft STILL over-selling in Korea

Microsoft will be fined a few million dollars by the IHC if this sort of blatant over-publicising of dull PC peripherals continues.



The mouse on the left is so dull it should only be mentioned as a text-only product code briefly towards the end of a very long PowerPoint presentation about forthcoming products.

The one on the right just about warrants a photograph, but it should only be against a plain white background with a Photoshopped drop shadow at the most.

BATTERY RELAPSE: The mighty KINGKONG!

Hopefully this battery update won't encourage loads of readers to send in battery photos of their own, thereby triggering a new and sustained period of battery updates. That would be awful.



EXCUSE FOR POOR PHOTO FROM SUBMITTER: "It has an electro-magnetic field so strong that no camera can take an in-focus picture of it."

Sir Clive Sinclair is alive and well...

...and is designing things for Wibrain by the looks of this utter monster.



Good to see Blake's 7 is still having an influence on today's technology designers.