Static non-powered objects with FACES #10: Bilal's brother's cables and electrics bag
King Bilal has returned to reclaim his crown as the only person who gives a toss about the quality of what gets uploaded on this shitbag of a blog any more.
OPENING PREAMBLE
"My big brother left for Turkey this morning for a year (something about his PhD, but most likely it's to do with kebabs. Regardless, you can probably kiss goodbye to any future eleictricty porablems if he starts teaching English there) and left me a bag of 'electronics, seeing as you're the electronics guy. I figured you'd like this kind of stuff'."
"The bag contained two Nokia USB cables and one of those BT screw-in microfilter sockets. I'm not making this up. In return, I've got his car, so I'm not sour. Not one bit. Domestic interactions aside, while attempting to work out the logistics behind sneaking a few heavy bedsheets and pillowcases into his daughter's travel cot (to take away valuable weight for the suitcases. Still not making this up) I noticed a gruesome, ghostly face staring back at me when I reached for the travel cot cover. It's all rather Mario World-esque in appearance, but don't let that put you off, as closer examination reveals each eye to be a side-on silhouette! Better yet, the silhouettes are facing each other!"
"But wait! I'd even go so far as to claim this static, non-powered object sports not only a face, nor even three faces, but an ENTIRE SCENE. Assuming the mouth looks like a table, the face becomes two old men having a game of chess! Alternatively, it could possibly be misconstrued as two old men shagging a headless woman, but no-one in their right mind would think that."
"Remember, that's two old men playing chess. Not the other thing I mentioned. Not even if you tilt your head sideways. It won't work. Actually, if you rotate it 90 degrees and change the table into a leg... Regards, Bilal Sheikh."
CRITICISMS
Thanks, Bilal, but for the first time your text-to-photos ratio is way off. Admittedly there's only so much you can do with a bag, but perhaps an additional photo of the contents could've been used to further break up the lengthy paragraphs? Regardless, this remains a quality submission - 7.5/10.
OPENING PREAMBLE
"My big brother left for Turkey this morning for a year (something about his PhD, but most likely it's to do with kebabs. Regardless, you can probably kiss goodbye to any future eleictricty porablems if he starts teaching English there) and left me a bag of 'electronics, seeing as you're the electronics guy. I figured you'd like this kind of stuff'."
"The bag contained two Nokia USB cables and one of those BT screw-in microfilter sockets. I'm not making this up. In return, I've got his car, so I'm not sour. Not one bit. Domestic interactions aside, while attempting to work out the logistics behind sneaking a few heavy bedsheets and pillowcases into his daughter's travel cot (to take away valuable weight for the suitcases. Still not making this up) I noticed a gruesome, ghostly face staring back at me when I reached for the travel cot cover. It's all rather Mario World-esque in appearance, but don't let that put you off, as closer examination reveals each eye to be a side-on silhouette! Better yet, the silhouettes are facing each other!"
"But wait! I'd even go so far as to claim this static, non-powered object sports not only a face, nor even three faces, but an ENTIRE SCENE. Assuming the mouth looks like a table, the face becomes two old men having a game of chess! Alternatively, it could possibly be misconstrued as two old men shagging a headless woman, but no-one in their right mind would think that."
"Remember, that's two old men playing chess. Not the other thing I mentioned. Not even if you tilt your head sideways. It won't work. Actually, if you rotate it 90 degrees and change the table into a leg... Regards, Bilal Sheikh."
CRITICISMS
Thanks, Bilal, but for the first time your text-to-photos ratio is way off. Admittedly there's only so much you can do with a bag, but perhaps an additional photo of the contents could've been used to further break up the lengthy paragraphs? Regardless, this remains a quality submission - 7.5/10.
Labels: STATIC OBJECTS WITH FACES
Item posted at 3:05 PM
37 Comments:
or two stick figures fighting over a single pair of legs...
Plastic bags always remind me of murder. My subconscious has a lust for blood.
A man's most important possession is his cables bag. How could he give it away? What if be NEEDS a charger for an old Panasonic portable CD player?
Don't piss Bilal off, Idiot, he's the only hope you have left.
If I'd known about it sooner I'd have taken at least ten photos, or maybe done a video like last time (or not), but the fact is even these were taken literally just before we were leaving for the airport.
I was called down to sort the bag out and by the time I realised it even had a face it was too late. It was hard enough getting even those two shots (which were actually three, but one was with the flash off and just looked rubbisher).
If it helps, I did the automatic contrast in Photoshop to give them a bit more 'oomph', and cropped the second one to give it more 'impact'.
@ Alternate: I dunno how he'd manage to charge a CD player using USB cables and a microfilter. He's not Ray Mears, you know :(
Nice writing. You are on my RSS reader now so I can read more from you down the road, and if you are a mmorpg player, you can get wow gold,cheap wow gold and wow power leveling here!
Thanks for that Seovips, but your links were wrong, I think you'll find cheap gold here -
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Hm, surely all WoW players are unwashed virgins who can only dream of seeing a real live vulva.
Genocide seems the only humane option :-(
I enjoy the OP's bag though :-)
I was flattered with that RSS comment, and then he got to the mmorpg bit and I realised he was a robot :(
They do have very good AI these days.
I'd be proper chuffed if a robot liked me. Robot friends are the future, apparently. Must be a different future from the one where we have to cycle everywhere and go back to putting our clothes through a mangle.
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