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Thursday, October 30, 2008

LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY of WOMEN while they SLEEP

We're thinking that promotional photos of WOMEN in BED ought to be the next big thing we push out onto an unwanting internet. We have taken the liberty of assuming you would all be OK with that and sourced the following.

MemoryCleanse(TM) Retrospective Discreet Firewall

Slip the MemoryCleanse(TM) Retrospective Discreet Firewall on her while she sleeps and she'll awake with no recollection of having spent the previous evening looking through your internet search term history in horror then crying herself to sleep.

MemoryCleanse(TM) Retrospective Discreet Firewall

Next morning she'll be in a great mood and bringing you tea.
THE TRUTH IS WORSE

TMJ Pain & Teeth Grinding on the Rise Amid Economic and Election Stress

Rise in Biofeedback Headband Sales Shows Impact of Election and Economy

BOSTON--(BUSINESS WIRE)--More than 3 million Americans suffer pain every day from teeth grinding and clenching (bruxism), and the recent worries about the election and the economy seem to be exacerbating the problem. Data from the makers of the SleepGuard(tm) biofeedback headband, which helps free people from TMJ pain, shows a dramatic increase in sales resulting from increased stress.

Lee Weinstein, CEO of Holistic Technologies stated, "We were surprised to find that SleepGuard(tm) sales have increased 50% over the past two months. We found that the trend is largely based on increased anxiety about the economy as well as the pending Presidential election."

The patented SleepGuard(tm) device reduces TMJ pain by helping people learn to subconsciously keep a relaxed jaw during sleep. While many people find that mouth guards protect their teeth but are not effective in reducing clenching and pain, the SleepGuard(tm) biofeedback headband helps people eliminate the source of the problem - the underlying habit of clenching and grinding.

Weinstein added, "We find it ironic that while people are grinding more due to anxiety over their finances, the cost of typical TMJ solutions only creates more worry. That's part of the reason that SleepGuard(tm) has been so successful even during the economic downturn."

TMJ sufferers and grinders have been getting the short end of the stick for years, often trying many expensive options without finding a solution. Even many non-grinders clench occasionally while sleeping, and for people who don't have dental healthcare coverage, one bad round of nighttime clenching could lead to a cracked tooth and unexpected dental bills in the thousands. The SleepGuard unit can be purchased for less than half the $500 typical cost of a dentist-made mouth guard.

Holistic Technologies offers a free 3-week trial of the SleepGuard(tm) headband through the web site www.StopGrinding.com.

Research shows that bruxism increases dramatically with stress. The SleepGuard headband offers a simple, affordable option to help reduce or eliminate jaw pain, worn teeth, migraines and other painful and distressing maladies that often result from nighttime teeth grinding. "While SleepGuard won't stop the decline in your retirement funds, you can sleep a little easier and wake without pain," added Weinstein.

Item posted at 10:28 AM

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

She's a grinder. Without a doubt. Oh dear...

10:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd grind her down to a bloody stump.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It plays an audio loop directly INTO HER MIND while she sleeps: "He is your boyfriend. He did not climb in your window and put this headband on you a week ago. You must wear it or you will get fat and he will leave you. He is your boyfriend..."

Brainwashing? Would.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Badben said...

In the second picture the head-board on the bed looks like a cable, like she is indeed connected to an out of shot PC. Can you upload varous 'custom' behaviours whilst you install the firewall?

For instance I'd like mine to only cry herself to sleep after looking at my browser history, rather than, oh, getting into a biblical style rage and then trying to cause my death in an unsuspicious way :(

12:03 PM  
Anonymous Stu said...

This surely can't be real?...

5:53 PM  
Anonymous Idiot said...

It's definitely real, it was on my hot new favourite hardcore medical resources press site.

7:45 PM  
Blogger Joe said...

I'd like to do something to her brain that would require it to be washed afterwards.

1:26 AM  
Blogger Lee said...

It's most definitely real. I'm sorry you folks classify it as an idiot toy. I don't mind the jokes about grinding and the model. I think we all knew that would happen when we did the photo shoot. The device is a very serious piece of technology. I designed it. It has better sensitivity than $2000 sleep lab bedside EMG units. For people who grind more when they wear a mouth guard (and thus experience more pain), this thing has many times been the difference between a life of intense pain and migraine headaches every day, and a life with no pain.

5:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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8:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this information. This is really good research. Thanks for nice post.I will try this just after my 70-351 for MS Internet Security & Acceleration Serv 2006, Configuring about which I am confident to pass in first attempt because I have already pass 70-340 which is for Implementing Security for Applications with Microsoft Visual C# .NET as well as your page concern I must say that you have done a great job I must return on your page to read you more.

4:42 AM  
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3:33 AM  

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