EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES incorporating Promotional Image of the Weeeeek
WARNING. MAN WITH SHIRT OFF.
But it's OK, he's not exactly in shape. No one's going to think you're browsing gay pornography. They'll just think your dad has posted some personal photos on Facebook of his operation.
It's a defibrillator, in case you're panicking about dying. The one thing we will take away from Idiot Toys when it's all over is that we have learned the correct spelling of defibrillator. Two Ls.
But it's OK, he's not exactly in shape. No one's going to think you're browsing gay pornography. They'll just think your dad has posted some personal photos on Facebook of his operation.
It's a defibrillator, in case you're panicking about dying. The one thing we will take away from Idiot Toys when it's all over is that we have learned the correct spelling of defibrillator. Two Ls.
POSITIVELY SHOCKING NEWS! THE WORLDS' FIRST WEARABLE CARDIAC DEFIBRILLATOR
A Cheshire based medical company Dot Medical, is the only UK Company to offer a unique life saving wearable 'vest' that monitors, detects and shocks people having a heart attack. The vest is worn next to the skin in much the same way as an ordinary vest - but this one can save your life!
The Lifevest can be worn by people who are at risk of having a sudden cardiac arrest (SCA), who are recovering from a heart attack or who are on waiting lists for lifesaving heart surgery.
The Lifevest also helps to improve patients' quality of life when they are out and about in everyday life, as they can be secure in the knowledge that their hearts are being 'watched over' all the time. This makes it hugely reassuring for both patient's families and medical staff.
For people who previously had to stay in hospital for weeks at a time while waiting for a heart operation, wearing the Lifevest now means that instead, they may be able to return to the comfort of their home and family until they are ready for surgery.
In fact the Lifevest is so effective that to date it has a 98% first shock success rate for treating patients for sudden cardiac arrest (SCA). Made by US Company Zoll/Lifecor, the Lifevest has been worn by over 12,000 patients and is so successful that it is now listed alongside implantable defibrillators in guidelines for prevention of sudden cardiac death(1).
Dr Ian Rankin, Managing Director of Dot Medical who provides the LifeVest in the UK said:
'The Lifevest can literally save lives. It allows patients who might otherwise have to stay in hospital, to go home and resume their lives, knowing that they are being carefully monitored. The Lifevest is an excellent alternative or temporary therapy, for people waiting for certain heart operations or who are at risk of a heart attack.'
Labels: EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES
Item posted at 9:46 AM
9 Comments:
2 Ls in defibrillater? Right. Noted.
Unfortunately, that makes it a bloody mess of a word to say here in Wales.
Even worse than Jelly.
Or Llanelli.
What happens if the vest decides someone's having a heart attack when they aren't and/or they happen to be touching someone else at the time?
And can you wear one, insulate yourself against it and go around administering shocks to people at will?
Dot Medical urgently need to employ some Asian receptionists with heart problems that they can use for this kind of thing.
You could use it is a tazer if you were attacked too.
What happens if the vest decides someone's having a heart attack when they aren't and/or they happen to be touching someone else at the time?
I'll assume this is a serious question. A standard defibrillater is programmed to only administer a shock in the event that it detects one of two specific types of irregular heartbeats. It will only administer a shock under those conditions. I'd imagine that the defibrillater vest works much the same way.
As for how you'd prevent someone else touching the subject from inadvertently getting shocked, I'm not sure how you'd prevent that. Perhaps a vocal message that a worn defibrillater device is about to administer a shock?
Catchpa: lasempi -- when you laser has run out of photons.
The clock is now counting down to the day I witness an old man stood on a bus suddenly yelling "CLEAR!"
When that day comes, so will I.
wv: Mokinate - might work as an alternative to shouting "CLEAR!"
@Mark - That's of course assuming it's working as it should and isn't broken or hasn't [snigger] been tampered with.
I look forward to seeing these turn up at car boot sales along with the 2nd hand wheelchairs and the like...
And if you will insist on continuing to assume there're sensible questions being raised round here - Wonder if you can go swimming with one of these one?
@Gonuts - Surely if someone's having a heart attack they're going to find it difficult to shout CLEAR! I prefer the automated message like a securicor vehicle reversing - "Warning! Coffin dodger about to become Torchy the battery boy! Warning!"
I might in-vest(hur hur hur, hur hur oh my poor sides) in one of these to perk me up on the long Friday afternoons in the office...
More serious questions; what happens to a normally functioning heart if it goes off accidently? What happens if you're driving? A jetski? Down a wier? What then, eh?
Would, until his heart emits one of two specific types of irregular heartbeats.
"I'll assume this is a serious question."
Why on earth would you do that? You must be new around here then. Welcome aboard!
anonymous [1]
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