Sony Ericsson T707 and MARIA SHARAPOVA PHOTO OPPORTUNITY!
It's our favourite "Brand Ambassador" again. She's walked out of the Canon building and straight into the Sony Ericsson building.
These photos were sent in by a "Richard" who found them here. Richard (not us) thinks it looks like she's sitting on the toilet in one of them.
Not this one. She's not on the toilet here. Although, going by her expression, she's definitely in need of a big poo. One day, a female tennis player is going to work out how to look sexy off the court. Then, the world will be hers.
Not this one, either. In this photo, she's gazing adoringly at the Damien Hirst she's bought with Sony Ericsson's money and stuck on the wall.
Not this one either. In this one, she's texting her girlfriends about what aspirational cocktails they're all going to have tonight.
This one. That's what she would look like were you to successfully secrete a small digital camera inside her bathroom and take a photo of her having a wee. Although the look on her face isn't right. She should be looking puzzled, trying to work out why there's been a small pinpirick of light coming through her mirror ever since the "maintenance man" came round to service the boiler.
It was Richard's idea. He's the one that's been fantasising about Maria getting "caught short" and dribbling piss down her muscular legs. Into her little socks. Her little pink socks. With bobbles on. Piss-soaked bobbles. That's what you had in mind, ISN'T IT, Richard?
Costume change!
Costume change #2! "Fuck the budget, Dave. It's Maria. She's walked all the way over from the Canon building for this. Get H&M on the phone and tell them we need another kind of dress or some tight trousers."
She must have a hell of a phone bill.
Although presumably Sony Ericsson's sorted her out with more free minutes per month than there are in a month, so she'll be OK. No nasty surprises at the end of the month, as long as she hasn't used it abroad.
Oh dear. The illusion of her being comfortable with the handset has been smashed, thanks to this clumsy two-handed hold.
PREVIOUSLY ON MARIA WATCH
These photos were sent in by a "Richard" who found them here. Richard (not us) thinks it looks like she's sitting on the toilet in one of them.
Not this one. She's not on the toilet here. Although, going by her expression, she's definitely in need of a big poo. One day, a female tennis player is going to work out how to look sexy off the court. Then, the world will be hers.
Not this one, either. In this photo, she's gazing adoringly at the Damien Hirst she's bought with Sony Ericsson's money and stuck on the wall.
Not this one either. In this one, she's texting her girlfriends about what aspirational cocktails they're all going to have tonight.
This one. That's what she would look like were you to successfully secrete a small digital camera inside her bathroom and take a photo of her having a wee. Although the look on her face isn't right. She should be looking puzzled, trying to work out why there's been a small pinpirick of light coming through her mirror ever since the "maintenance man" came round to service the boiler.
It was Richard's idea. He's the one that's been fantasising about Maria getting "caught short" and dribbling piss down her muscular legs. Into her little socks. Her little pink socks. With bobbles on. Piss-soaked bobbles. That's what you had in mind, ISN'T IT, Richard?
Costume change!
Costume change #2! "Fuck the budget, Dave. It's Maria. She's walked all the way over from the Canon building for this. Get H&M on the phone and tell them we need another kind of dress or some tight trousers."
She must have a hell of a phone bill.
Although presumably Sony Ericsson's sorted her out with more free minutes per month than there are in a month, so she'll be OK. No nasty surprises at the end of the month, as long as she hasn't used it abroad.
Oh dear. The illusion of her being comfortable with the handset has been smashed, thanks to this clumsy two-handed hold.
PREVIOUSLY ON MARIA WATCH
Just standing there near a sign Fully accessorised The terrible "fashion" incident
Item posted at 1:33 PM
10 Comments:
Idiot's bizarre tennis/piss fantasy silences the room....
When's the full fan fiction scheduled for?
wv: kisers
suggestively outshines whatever I wanted to type, so I'll leave it at that.
Final proof: even sexy, blonde, toned, millionaire hussies look like morons when they wear a Bluetooth headset.
*fwaps anyway*
Piss-soaked bobbles? Just when I was starting to loose faith in Idiot, he goes and blows my mind. Pure genius.
I sense there is a great struggle between Facebook Idiot and Fritzl/piss Idiot. I root for the latter.
I don't get it. Does her phone keep changing colour or does she have different ones for different moods?
Maybe there is some sort of piss-drenched-bobble scene code; pink phone means 'I like having my bobbles urinated on', blue phone means 'I like urinating into my bobbles'? .
I have a funny anecdote to do with the creation of this update and the ongoing internal struggle between light and dark.
The very second I'd finished typing the line "dribbling piss down her muscular legs" the wife lovingly plonked a cup of tea down on the desk beside me. How I laughed.
She didn't see what I'd typed, else I'd be writing this using the hospital burn unit's £6.50-a-day wi-fi.
She might read this later if it's a slow day on the Daily Mail web site, though. There may be trouble ahead.
Quick question before I decide if this post interests me.
Which one of us gets to wear the piss soaked bobble socks and do they have to be on the feet?
Please let the dark win, Idiot. Light is overrated.
Plus, is anyone else struggling to equate 'Idiot' and 'wife'? Yours must be very tolerant/long suffering. If my wife read IT... well, I don't know but it'd be bad. Well done, Mrs. Idiot! Hang on in there! The bad years might one day be behind you! The years of neglect you suffer in favour of a flickering screen may one day exist only in your memories (and as a source of regular domestics)!
The transsexual webcam sex addiction is the only real cause of tension.
Marry her, share a pole vault.
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