Some "new funky pics" of Will Mills, Head of music, Shazam

He's sucking in his tummy so hard there's a chance he'll either faint or poo himself.



Expensive trousers. Whatever Shazam is or does, it must do well enough to keep paying its staff even in these troubled times.



He doesn't look urban enough to own his own "deck". This will be the boy from the post room's "deck". Are they called decks? Do the kids even have records any more? Is new music still being produced?

Sony Ericsson T707 and MARIA SHARAPOVA PHOTO OPPORTUNITY!

It's our favourite "Brand Ambassador" again. She's walked out of the Canon building and straight into the Sony Ericsson building.

These photos were sent in by a "Richard" who found them here. Richard (not us) thinks it looks like she's sitting on the toilet in one of them.



Not this one. She's not on the toilet here. Although, going by her expression, she's definitely in need of a big poo. One day, a female tennis player is going to work out how to look sexy off the court. Then, the world will be hers.



Not this one, either. In this photo, she's gazing adoringly at the Damien Hirst she's bought with Sony Ericsson's money and stuck on the wall.



Not this one either. In this one, she's texting her girlfriends about what aspirational cocktails they're all going to have tonight.



This one. That's what she would look like were you to successfully secrete a small digital camera inside her bathroom and take a photo of her having a wee. Although the look on her face isn't right. She should be looking puzzled, trying to work out why there's been a small pinpirick of light coming through her mirror ever since the "maintenance man" came round to service the boiler.



It was Richard's idea. He's the one that's been fantasising about Maria getting "caught short" and dribbling piss down her muscular legs. Into her little socks. Her little pink socks. With bobbles on. Piss-soaked bobbles. That's what you had in mind, ISN'T IT, Richard?



Costume change!



Costume change #2! "Fuck the budget, Dave. It's Maria. She's walked all the way over from the Canon building for this. Get H&M on the phone and tell them we need another kind of dress or some tight trousers."



She must have a hell of a phone bill.



Although presumably Sony Ericsson's sorted her out with more free minutes per month than there are in a month, so she'll be OK. No nasty surprises at the end of the month, as long as she hasn't used it abroad.



Oh dear. The illusion of her being comfortable with the handset has been smashed, thanks to this clumsy two-handed hold.

PREVIOUSLY ON MARIA WATCH

Just standing there near a sign

Fully accessorised

The terrible "fashion" incident

Houses with SOMETHING APPROXIMATING FACES

Got sent this. Aren't convinced, but it's a good photo and the reader clearly put in the effort - going so far as to write THREE separate paragraphs of text. He used capital letters, commas and everything.

Good readers must be patted on the head, even if we're not sure if it's the round windows or the square windows he's on about.



"I have been working in the bowels of this building for 3 years and it was only the other day that I noticed I was being gobbled up every time I set foot through the doors.

"I particularly like the double tiered nose, eyebrows, buckteeth and pointy hat. Although I am not too sure what the designers were thinking with the inclusion of a bindi. Clearly there was a need to make the building multicultural in the difficult era of the 1980's nearly a decade before the rampant political correctness of the present day. These architectural pioneers were clearly the trendsetters of their generation.

"I am reliably informed that the clock used electricity and is therefore a gadget" - The Yigster.

Gadgets with FACES #125: A Lesbian's Midea rice cooker

Photos supplied at 3264 x 2448 resolution and taken with a Samsung Digimax L85, a camera so alien we're going to have to Google it [30 seconds later] to discover it's not particularly impressive.



"It's some kind of rice cooker, possibly pig-themed. The face looks deliberate. I have no idea what the rules are for that, if any. It belongs to a lesbian, if that's any help" - Tim.



Yes, Tim, it was a big help. It's great knowing we have a reader who knows a lesbian with a rice cooker. Perhaps you could ask her what's the difference between a rice cooker and just putting a lid on a saucepan? We've always wondered.

Extremely Patronising Promotional Image of the Weeeek

Burger King's had an idea about how to promote its great-tasting, flame-grilled, reconstituted-meat products - getting some foreign people to look happy while munching down on one.

It's an exciting meal, because they're FOREIGN and Burger King is GLAMOROUS.



We should probably say something meaningful about globalisation and the evils of marketing, but we're no 'Bill Hicks' and find it difficult to vocalise disgust.



She's smiling now, but she hasn't bitten down into the "meat" yet. And she'll be livid when grease runs up her arm and stains her lovely llama fleece.

New material from Parrot - Zikmu wireless speakers by Philippe Starck

We are keen followers of Parrot, thanks to its golden use of superb product photography, featuring strong young people having the sort of FUN that we'll never experience in our lifetimes.

Parrot is back with some arty speakers. Not as much FUN is being had here, though.



Parrot is reflecting the sombre mood of the times with this more reflective and thoughtful pose. Our admiration for Parrot has gone up by yet another notch.

Casio: For the cost-cutting businessman

Under-fire banking leader John Varley lightens the mood by matching his watch colour to his glasses colour. He also has red hearts on his underpants, a source confirmed to BBC business editor Robert Peston.



This is why they take home the BIG BUCKS. The endorsement from Casio alone is worth £250,000 a year to Mr Varley.

EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES: Bruce Blessington, Chairman of the Board, Flight Landata

Meet Bruce. He flew military (Sikorsky UH-34D Seahorse choppers for 16th Combat Aviation) from '67 to '76, then went commercial (Boeing test pilot then internal US flight captain for Pan-Am) from '77 to '90.

Enforced retirement at age 55 made him reappraise his career, so he launched his own aerial photography business with the full backing of his wife, Linda, and his three sons Charles, Henry and Walther.



Lilac handkerchief poking out of left pocket. If we're not very much mistaken, that's code for "Would rather have a nice cup of tea than have to take my trousers off so stop pestering me for blowjobs".



This is Flight Landata CEO Jeffrey Smith, updating a classic CEO pose with an excitingly casual unshaven look.

*Jingle* Promotional Image of the Weeeeek

Rave duo Altern-8 get 'hands on' during the manufacturing process of their new CD.



We did a bit of research. Altern-8 are not currently planning to release any new material, sadly, although they should because their unofficial Russian fan site is bustling.

Man and woman awkwardly look at book

They're flat mates. Nothing's happened between them yet. She's waiting for him. He's wishing he was drunk. If they don't do it now it'll never happen. HURRY UP! You've both already taken your socks off, so you might as well.



Found while looking at artistic beds on the internet. They're Italian. The bed is called "Maude" or is made by Maude.

Shopping Comparison Web Sites with FACES #1

A reader called "Chris" found this while looking for something between £50 and £100 to accurately show the depth of his admiration for the woman who leaves the towels everywhere.



He didn't say which shopping comparison web site it was. You could probably find it by Googling the product. If you're bored, like.

Disturbing wound-care imaging gadget photo *NSFW*

Hacking a lump out of a model's leg for a photo shoot is going a bit far.



It's too round to be an accident.

New Wound Care Camera Computes Area of Wound

Handheld, Non-Contact Device Helps Manage Wounds

ATLANTA--(BUSINESS WIRE)--Today, IP2Biz announced that a prototype wound measurement camera is being tested by wound specialty nurses at the Shepherd Center in Atlanta, Georgia. The handheld device determines and captures wound boundaries and wound area using proprietary software and low-cost hardware. The device provides fast, accurate and repeatable digital documentation of wound progression, a necessary component to validate payment from insurance and government agencies.

The Shepherd Center is a nationally recognized, not-for-profit hospital that focuses on medical care and rehabilitation for patients requiring highly-specialized care. Nurses using the device say that “the device easily fits in your hands, can be operated with just a click and gives us confidence that the measurements can be repeated consistently. It is a great improvement over our current methods.” The technology development was led by Stephen Sprigle, Associate Professor of Applied Physiology and Industrial Design at the Georgia Institute of Technology.

“We designed the device to address a key and growing need in wound management,” said Sprigle. “Our goal was to provide a low-cost, easy-to-use device that used the latest technology to provide measurements of the area of the wound.” The device does not require patient contact, thus providing maximum infection control. The simple design is intuitive to use and requires minimal training, thus making it ideal for use in a wide range of environments, including homecare.

Dr. John Hitt of IP2Biz sees a growing need for wound management. “Hospitals, rehabilitation clinics and specialized care centers all need to address the increasing requirements for pay-for-performance healthcare,” says Hitt. “This device enables healthcare providers to consistently document healing and meet validation requirements from Medicare/Medicaid and insurance agencies.” The technology is licensed exclusively to IP2Biz from the Georgia Tech Research Corporation.

About IP2Biz LLC

IP2Biz LLC is a leading technology acquisition, development, licensing and growth company that transfers technology for commercial application. IP2Biz’s unique business model revolutionizes the early stages in the commercialization process, improving the efficiency, effectiveness and returns for corporate buyers and investors. As a result, clean, packaged IP is delivered to business with greater speed, reduced costs and lowered risks. For more information, visit www.ip2biz.com.

HRP-4C does have a rather pretty mouth

And soft hands and wipe-clean breasts. Found by a "Roger" who suggests using Google to find the Youtube video of it/her.



More facts on ultra-reliable news source Ananova. She's open source, so could be programmed to react favourably and enthusiastically to anything you might suggest.

Could you love a Dell?

Dell's serious about its Adamo. It's set up a new domain name and paid someone to create an artistic flash montage.



The Idiot Toys Dell Inspiron 530S is quite lovable, but only because it was bought through the Dell Outlet for half the usual RRP.

EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES incorporating Promotional Image of the Weeeeek

WARNING. MAN WITH SHIRT OFF.

But it's OK, he's not exactly in shape. No one's going to think you're browsing gay pornography. They'll just think your dad has posted some personal photos on Facebook of his operation.



It's a defibrillator, in case you're panicking about dying. The one thing we will take away from Idiot Toys when it's all over is that we have learned the correct spelling of defibrillator. Two Ls.

POSITIVELY SHOCKING NEWS! THE WORLDS' FIRST WEARABLE CARDIAC DEFIBRILLATOR

A Cheshire based medical company Dot Medical, is the only UK Company to offer a unique life saving wearable 'vest' that monitors, detects and shocks people having a heart attack. The vest is worn next to the skin in much the same way as an ordinary vest - but this one can save your life!

The Lifevest can be worn by people who are at risk of having a sudden cardiac arrest (SCA), who are recovering from a heart attack or who are on waiting lists for lifesaving heart surgery.

The Lifevest also helps to improve patients' quality of life when they are out and about in everyday life, as they can be secure in the knowledge that their hearts are being 'watched over' all the time. This makes it hugely reassuring for both patient's families and medical staff.

For people who previously had to stay in hospital for weeks at a time while waiting for a heart operation, wearing the Lifevest now means that instead, they may be able to return to the comfort of their home and family until they are ready for surgery.

In fact the Lifevest is so effective that to date it has a 98% first shock success rate for treating patients for sudden cardiac arrest (SCA). Made by US Company Zoll/Lifecor, the Lifevest has been worn by over 12,000 patients and is so successful that it is now listed alongside implantable defibrillators in guidelines for prevention of sudden cardiac death(1).

Dr Ian Rankin, Managing Director of Dot Medical who provides the LifeVest in the UK said:

'The Lifevest can literally save lives. It allows patients who might otherwise have to stay in hospital, to go home and resume their lives, knowing that they are being carefully monitored. The Lifevest is an excellent alternative or temporary therapy, for people waiting for certain heart operations or who are at risk of a heart attack.'

Infineon creates world's largest match

The match head is the size of a family car. The shaft is as long as a London bus.



The box covers an area the size of Wales.

Gadgets with FACES #125: The emergency handle on trains or buses in Vienna

Nose displaced to one side thanks to poorly-placed mouth hinge. A little more consideration at concept stage and this could've been a landmark in municipal design.



"I cannot believe I only just noticed Viennese public transport is lined with these screaming red totem poles. What an amount of detail! Its little eyes bulging out in terror/trance, the glossy lips and even a nose ring. It ought to make the Gadgets with FACES top 5 easily" - Lukas.

Gadgets with FACES #123 and 124: Another heater and a hospital ceiling

Incorporating our very first CEILING with a FACE.

OPENING PREAMBLE:
"Hot on the heels of my incredibly successful Shanghai pictures on UKR, I now present my Idiot Toys selection I've been saving up. You think that gadget with a face #99 is good for an Argos heater? It ain't got nothing on mine. She's hot stuff alright, in 2 exciting poses..."



"1) Sexy asian spy/dominatrix..."



"2) Hot lips (or orange bucktooth depending on how you look at it). Well worthy of being Gadget with a FACE #100, don't you think?"



"Also, I think you have done Pairdeer batteries before (YES), but the one I took came out particularly lovely with a soft flash setting and I thought you'd appreciate it. And by appreciate, I mean it could appear in one of your generic round-ups if it's lucky."



"And fresh from my hospital visit in back in February (broken leg FYI), I present your very first CEILING WITH A FACE! There's no need to fear hospital visits any more with this goliath watching over you. Could this be a gadget too ? I mean, it does use electricity after all" - Martin B.

Gadgets with FACES #122: Turkish combi boilers

Three separate photos.



"Hi Idiot! I think these pretty much speak for themselves. The pictures are not bad either."



"I was going to say keep up the good work, but on second thought paying for bandwith seems more appropriate. Yours (not literally)" - Pingus.



We didn't need three separate photos.

The photographer wore a hat

We found this while looking for a new kettle. There's no point lying about it. We were on the internet, late at night, browsing for kettles, looking at kettles and comparing the stats of a shortlist of several possible future kettles.

This one is high on the list, due to the error made by the photographer. It's hard taking photos of shiny objects, admittedly, but he's not even trying to hide himself.



We're more interested in quick-boil energy efficiency than aesthetics although, obviously, the fantasy future new kettle would be exemplary in both areas. If anyone has any kettle recommendations, please post them.

Man *really* engrossed in rough draft of novel

"I just can't put it down!"



The Times says he looks through the holes where the rings go so he can see where to walk. The old Fritzl ingenuity still burns strong.

Gadgets with FACES #121: A paperclip machine

We suspect it's manually operated, but there might be a battery in there somewhere. Or you could put a battery in with the paperclips.



"It's a robot which appears to be ready to vomit. I stole this from someone's Facebook page. Hopefully you're in the same network as this person and so can see it, or I suggest you join Australia for a minute if you really want to" - Bill.

UNINTENTIONALLY AMUSING FOREIGN FOODSTUFFS: Hornimans Manzanilla con Anis

HORNI... MAN... MAN... ANIS... the comedy permutations are limitless. Over to reader "Dan" to spell out in detail exactly why this page ought to get 1,000,000 Diggs and become the most popular thing on the whole internet for the next two-and-a-half days.

This page will be SO POPULAR we'll be selling 30% of it to Microsoft for $2.1bn.



"I took this picture of a packet of tea in a small-supermarket kind of a shop in Andorra. It says 'Hornimans' which is funny enough, but then read further and it says 'Manzanilla con ANIS' which almost sounds like anus. Also the word 'manzanilla' is comical. It's made by a company called 'Pickwick', which might elicit mirth in some people; it's impossible to know. Love, Dan, a fan" - Dan.

Gadgets with FACES #120: The Tomo Therapy Hi-Art scanning thing

Poking out its big tongue to GOBBLE UP people who need brain scans.



Spit out that bit of gristle, mate. It's a tumour. If you must eat human flesh, you want the slow-roasted thigh of a German man you met on the internet.

A very nice Fujitsu battery

We had one of these, once. A beautiful battery. Ours was beige. It was in the sock drawer for ages. Batteries keep best in the sock drawer. Have moved house since and don't know where it is now, though. Probably corroding to death in a bin liner in the loft :(



"Thought you might like this photo of a Fujitsu AA that fell out of a Dell keyboard a few days ago. Reassuringly there is No Mercury added, and now with Mangaese 2300!" - Andy.

EXIF DATA
Taken with a Leica DIGILUX 2. Wow. This shot makes DP Review's claim of "poor macro performance" look like utter nonsense.

Pretend sex chat sustainable energy advertising

While spending a happy few hours browsing crackpot solar/wind energy solutions, the following advertisement popped up. There's also a different blonde called "Susie" who appears in the corner of the page if you wait long enough for her to load.



The photo brought back painful memories of Headset Hotties - yet another site we are extremely jealous of.

CORPORATE CHINS: Gary Littledyke, Director of Sales and Marketing, Blazepoint

This horrific image was submitted by unpaid Idiot Toys researcher Stuart, who suggests the new category of "CORPORATE CHINS."



It's a good coincidence, as we are currently beta testing a new launch in the executive photography space, tentatively titled SEXY EXECUTIVES. Try it out. See if it's got legs.

We are EXCITED about LIGHT BULBS!

All hail the lifestyle-enhancing power of the Philips MASTER LED!



FAKE SMILE ALERT. She's currently worrying that this image will end up on a poster in her home town.



LUNATIC ALERT. You're not really supposed to hold light bulbs in your hand. They're low energy, but not so low energy they can be powered by the electrical impulses of human skin.



They're also so safe that even women are allowed to put them in unsupervised.

EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES: Brent McKenzie, Senior Vice President of Pharmacy Benefit Consulting, ARMSRx Pharmacy Benefit Consulting

It's rare to see a moustache greying at the precise same rate as the hair.



It's usually speckled with grey a good ten years prior to the "top hair" turning. Use this power wisely, Brent. Go and have a chat with Stephanie, see if she's got plans for tonight.

"Casio EX-FC100 High Speed Still Image Samples"

Casio very kindly supplied some cheerleaders so that MEN could test out the EX-FC100's performance when taking photos of moving women.



The photos were uploaded in extreme seriousness here. No lewd comments were made at all. What is WRONG with some people?



Sent in by a "Scott". We've had emails from eight separate Scotts over the years. Not including people whose surname is Scott. If you'd like more statistics regarding the breakdown of reader names, let us know.

Speedate.com's unrealistic portrayal of "the marketplace"

The maker of the iPhone application might be exaggerating the real-world scenario ever-so-slightly.



Unless this is the "premium" channel, we're paying $5 a minute and she's about to whip that t-shirt off.

A woman dressed up like a computer

Or perhaps she's meant to be a table. Bloody art students.



"They should have put a monitor right where her tits are with a picture of some tits on it..." - Johnny.

CELEBRITY HOLDING: Ageing supermodel Helena Christensen having a go on a Samsung Memoir

Samsung threw the budget OUT OF THE WINDOW and convinced the model to come out of retirement for one final product sale mission.



How well has she aged? Her hair still looks glossy, but it could be a wig made out of orphan hair Samsung had flown in from Eastern Europe. Arms look thin so she hasn't bulked out. Phew!



She's holding the camera UP so must be taking a DOWN SHOT. The press release says she's decided to become a photographer, so presumably she knows what she's doing.



We still feel that a woman of her status shouldn't be using a phone as her main camera. It's undignified. There's nothing sexier than a woman with a cased SLR confidently slung over her shoulder.

And if she is working as a photographer, turning up at a "shoot" and getting out her phone isn't going to go down very well - although the onboard black and white, sepia, negative and watercolour special effects settings might help on classier magazines that like to run arty photos.

Samsung Memoir(tm) Makes Official Debut at Mobile World Congress 2009

Photographer and Model Helena Christensen Touts Memoir's Exceptional Imaging Capabilities

BARCELONA, Spain -- Samsung Telecommunications America (Samsung Mobile) and T-Mobile USA, along with photographer and model Helena Christensen today officially unveiled the Samsung Memoir(tm), a touch-screen phone with an impressive 8-megapixel camera for premium imaging functionality, to be available exclusively through T-Mobile USA beginning February 25, 2009.

Christensen was the first to gain hands-on experience with the Memoir, using it as her official phone and camera to shoot images during her travels around New York and Barcelona. "As a photographer it was great for me to be the first to try the Memoir and to really experience everything it is capable of doing," said Christensen. "It's very important that my mobile phone also double up as a great camera, that way I always have my camera on hand to capture images at any moment. That's what a big part of photography is about." Christensen shared her images exclusively at the Memoir unveil event this evening in Barcelona.

The Memoir is designed to bring a high-quality digital imaging experience to the convenience of your mobile phone. The built-in 8-megapixel camera comes equipped with best-in-class digital imaging features, including Xenon flash, CMOS auto focus and 16x digital zoom. Accessing the Memoir's camera menu, users can adjust the brightness and flash, change the default destination of images, select a timer and zoom in or out. In addition, the Memoir's camera:

* Allows users to set special effects on an image, including black and white, sepia, negative and watercolor;
* Features blink detection, face detection, anti-shake to reduce blur, and geo-tagging, which records coordinate information of where the user is at the time the picture is taken into the image files;
* Provides optimal settings for a variety of shooting situations to help capture the best possible image, including portrait, landscape, night, sports, party/indoor, beach snow, sunset, dawn, fall color, fireworks and backlight;
* Automatically changes the white balance using the setting appropriate for the light source, including daylight, incandescent, fluorescent or cloudy;
* Features five different shooting modes, including single, continuous, panorama, smile shot and mosaic.

Users can also record video for up to 60 minutes depending on the resolution format. The Memoir allows users to even create customized slideshows of their images with music and different transitions. With the TV-out feature, users can share custom slideshows, video or images on a television for everyone to enjoy. The Memoir's proximity sensor works to automatically adjust the backlight when using the phone's camera in different environments, as well as lock the LCD screen when brought to the user's ear when making or receiving calls.

The Memoir features Samsung's TouchWiz(tm) user interface, including two new widgets that give one-touch access to information and entertainment. The online weather widget connects to The Weather Channel automatically for updated weather information and forecasts in the user's city. The camera widget provides instant access to the user's pictures and camera functionality such as slideshow, as well as their favorite online photo sharing resource, including flickr(r), Kodak Gallery(r), Photobucket and Snapfish. With full HTML web browsing capabilities and T-Mobile's 3G network, users can also download images or videos and instantly make updates to social networking sites. In addition, the Memoir features a music and video player, as well as multiple messaging capabilities, full touch virtual QWERTY keypad with haptic feedback and Assisted GPS.

The Memoir will be exclusively available through T-Mobile USA beginning February 25, 2009. For more information and to see Christensen's images taken with the Memoir visit, www.samsung.com/newsroom.

EXECUTIVE MOUSTACHES: Andrew Hartman, Director, Online Services, PR Newswire

One thing you ought to have learned upon reaching the age of 52 is that if you've got wonky eyes that are 33% too small it's best to stare into the middle-distance past the camera, not directly into the lens.



Thanks to MySpace, Bebo, Facebook and the like, today's kids have all learned how to best angle their faces and smile properly by the age of 13. Awkward corporate photos like this will be a thing of the past 30 years from now. So we MUST continue build this archive.

Robot impresses ladies by doing "The Human"

Honda continues to CONFOUND THE WORLD by carrying on with its rubbish robot project, even spending money on flying the thing (in a crate in the hold) to the UK so it can piss about with models.



Lest we forget.

Alun Taylor gets either his wife or a local prostitute to model an iPhone clone

The full review is here. Alun makes no mention of the "lady" and if she hangs around his house all day eating cereal for free or if she was was brought in specifically for an hour of business.



Sent in by one of our many "Colin" readers. If anyone reading this knows Alun Taylor, can you please clarify the situation. Thanks.

A PURE GOLD alkaline KING RING!

We have, as you will remember, featured the KING RING before. Twice. It's called KING RING for god's sake, how can we not feature EVERY submission?

But never before has KING RING looked as RESPLENDENT as it does in this superb non-conductive coat of pure gold-like plastic.



"I have a dirty, smelly, bearded hippy living in my office while he searches for a new 'crib' (I believe this is what they are referred to nowadays) and my wife informed me that the office smelled. I therefore bought from Tesco an automatic air freshener (you know, the sort you see in pub toilets) with which to dispel the noxious fumes emanating from said crusty."



"Imagine my surprise and delight when I discovered a pair of shining coppery-gold batteries called... wait for it... 'King Ring' within the planet-destroying plastic packaging."



"This wasn't a chance encounter - this was fate. I was meant to read Idiot Toys. My hippy friend was supposed to smell. My wife was supposed to whine at me. Tesco was supposed to let me buy that air freshener... in fact, everything in the universe leading up to this moment in my life had all been so that I could share these pictures with the 18 other people who read your website. I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. Love from " - Dominic.

*Jingle* Promotional Image of the Weeeeek

It's for a company that makes stairs. The MD of Stairflight Ltd thought that a GREAT thing to do would be to make a little montage of all the different types of stairs his company imports and sells, then stick his face in the middle of it.



We are not interested in buying any of the stairs, but would be keen in having an 80" x 60" canvas print of this image to put on the wall of the bedroom. It's a definite cure for premature ejaculation. And could even eradicate all ejaculation entirely.

Apple's iPod Touch GAMING LIES

More games than we can imagine? Apple, you have, once again, underestimated us.



Right now, Apple, I am imagining 100 BILLION games. Most of them first-person shooters with poorly-implemented novelty accelerometer controls. I suspect that is more games than are on the App Store.

APPLE SPECIALIST UPDATE:
Apple is still using this one on its emails. Whoever formats the emails is either lazy or likes her best.

Alternate colour and uppercase POWERCELL batteries

We featured the POWERCELL before in an update we fondly remember from last year. That was after POWERCELL had rebranded itself as Powercell - and came in a dull black and grey colour.

POWERCELL now wishes to be known as Powercell. It's not as exciting. Green and CAPITAL LETTERS was much better.



"I came across these POWERCELL's in an old toy robo-gorilla. When working, his face would light up and his arms move forward in circles propelling him along slowly. A set of fresh batteries did not seem to wake him from his decade long slumber so something must have gone wonky inside."



"The POWERCELLs do not have any expiry date but I'm presuming these would have been put in there at some time during the 80s. They must have worked at one point for them to have been left inside the gorillas backpack / battery compartment."



"Also, that's not vomit soaked into the carpet, it's meant to be that colour. I think the last owners were colour-blind."



"Taken with a Sony Ericsson C902 cause I don't have anything better. They seem to be a lot sharper than the usual tripe it turns out so hopefully if you have a slow day you can unleash some robo-gorilla goodness onto the front page" - Chris.

Another man who likes/liked SEGA has also branched out into batteries

A man whose parents had the foresight to christen him "SegamanXero" has sent us the following. He has a blog. If he also has a receding hairline, constant nervous laugh and slight lisp, we may have found a long-lost twin.

There are two bits of bad news first, though - (1) we have featured the astonishing PenesamiG before, and (2) the photos are, to put it bluntly, SHITE. As you are about to see.



"I have a treat for you, it's a several blurry up-close pics from my camera of three 'Teso' and three 'PenesamiG' batteries."



"Also as a bonus, As a even extra bonus, I have included a link to my video review of a cheap laser pointer and LED flash light which the PenesamiG batteries come from, so you get to see the interesting performance that they exhibit."



"I have included a rather not blurry (from same camera) and awesome looking shot of a blue battery. Literally it's freaking blue! No words or anything on it."



"Here is a link to my blog post where I posted the video, as well my youtube page with the video" - SegamanXero.

Gadgets with FACES #118: The Rejuvenique RJV10KIT Facial Toning Mask Kit

If you're currently making a low-budget horror film using your mobile phone with you and the only two friends you've got playing all the roles...



FULL DISCLOSURE: This was submitted by a man pretending to be called "Andy" who says he sort of got the idea for it from here.



So our only role in this update was, once again, resizing the images. If you have any images you want resizing, get in touch.