BATTERY WEEK II: Alternate silver "Vinnic"

This update is the one where battery updates stopped being "fun" and started being "a chore". It will all be over soon. There are about three more left.







We have lost the email these came in with, so have no clues about how to track them down or anything else to say about them.

BATTERY WEEK: Best Photographic Submission - the "Lightload"

Such a great photo. We hope this was taken by the spotter, and isn't just a stock picture nicked off the makers' web site:



Amazing use of shadow and the choice of background really brings out the silver-effect finish. Incredible work, especially as these are smaller and harder to photograph AAAs.

BATTERY WEEK: The Chinese "Pairdeer"

Nice explosive imagery - that's because the battery is so powerful. That's what they mean by that. The explosion is because of the battery's extreme power, not its shoddy manufacturing.



EXPLANATION: "Here are some more excellent batteries! With no more actual animals to name their batteries after, the Chinese have resorted to using an image of a deer and appending an arbitrary word to the beginning of it. Unknown as to whether these are super, high or megapairsuper quality."

BATTERY WEEK: Generic "Carbon Battery" from China

Found in a hotel room in Beijing. Smuggled out of the country up arse. Can anyone translate the weird symbol things they use as words over there?





The black writing underneath is "0% mercury". Bet you anything.

AN UPDATE REGARDING THE 'PANASEMIG' BATTERY
The link was sent to us by Brendan McLaughlan. He wants us to point this out to win some sort of bet about getting his name on the internet.

Is there any chance that you you update the post and include my name in it? It's been a long running hope of mine to get famous on the internet, and it may help lift my spirits in my battle with AIDS. I'll also win a pint in a bet with a work mate. This will make me more popular with the ladies, and I may even get laid!
Oh, I'd probably practice safe sex of course.

Thanks,

Brendan McLaughlan.

BATTERY WEEK: Resplendent in orange - the "Sanli"

Beautiful. It'd be worth buying and ripping open the entire Woolworths kids toy department just on the off chance you might find a couple of these powering a Thomas The Tank Engine talking book.



EXPLANATION: "Please find the same attached. Note the distended middle 'thread'. This is from a £4.99 Tesco MP3 player. It lasted about 2 hours. Yours, Kieran."





Nice photos, nice amateur point. Very good all-round submission work from Kieran. The youngster shows a lot of promise. Hopefully he'll start sending us porn now we're friends.

BATTERY WEEK: The exotic "Jin-Fu"

Slightly blurry and the background doesn't compliment the batteries, but you can't complain when the battery itself is such a rarity.





EXPLANATION: "I don't know if you're still honking that battery train but I found some lovely "JIN-FU"s today in a Pop-Star Mixing Deck I bought half price from Pound Stretcher. They were all mouldy but I handled them anyway to get the pictures. I hope they will do. Joe."



That's a lot of plastic for one pound.

BATTERY WEEK: The "Kendal Heavy Duty"

Staggering battery photography here, with these hot Kendal Heavy Duty shots coming in at a vast 3456 x 2304 resolution. This really is what we like to see.



EXPLANATION: "A Kendal 'Heavy Duty' AAA. 0% Mercury and Cadmium, from a crappy MP3 player. Did not prove to be 'Heavy Duty'."



You can say what you like about the Chinese human rights record, but they really know a thing or two about batteries. Amnesty International should start taking this into consideration before throwing about accusations.

BATTERY WEEK: The North Korean "Crane"

Batteries from behind the Iron Curtain! They're probably made with lots of really dangerous chemicals we're not allowed to use any more because of Brussels and Greenpeace, so they last for ages.



EXPLANATION: "Pack of batteries I saw for sale in North Korea (made in China, though). I still argue with my friends as to whether they're high quality or super quality."

BATTERY WEEK: Robots powered by "National Neo" and "Vinnic"

We'll start off Battery Week with these two beauties, spotted powering a couple of (ironic, toy) robots. We've had these photos for about six months, so if you were the person who sent them in we thank you for (a) your patience, and (b) your initial and unprompted sending-in-of the photos.





EXPLANATION: "I thought you might want to take a look at these batteries that I have in these here two robots I got as birthday presents. In the clear robot I got this year is a 'Vinnic Sum5 Extra Heavy Duty' battery and in the pink robot some idiot bought me last year is a 'High Quality National Neo Extra Long Life' battery."





"On this occasion the transparent robot knocked down the pink robot after a grapple. You can see from his face he is pleased."

BATTERY WEEK: Important safety notice

We are about to embark upon the second annual Idiot Toys Battery Week. Before we start, you should first read the following safety information, to familiarise yourself with battery 'best practice' and safety.



Thank you. Take a seat and begin pressing F5. The batteries will be along shortly.

DO NOT PUT ON TONGUE - RISK OF DEATH

MEGATON MAY EXPLOSE! Here's a little something for all you nine-volt fans, a squared-off and updated version of the awesome MEGATON:



Hard to believe it's not a Photoshop job. Very nice battery. It would keep a standard smoke detector powered for at least 600 years.

UPCOMING IDIOT TOYS CONTENT WARNING:
We have been saving up battery submissions for several months. Any day now the web site will become entirely about batteries again, possibly even as early as next week. We have some seriously impressive material ready, most of it in very high resolution.