Gadgets with FACES #130: The film cartridge for a Mini Instax non-digital camera

A robot in jail. This arrest closed the case of the 126 prostitutes found dead around Tokyo with odd indentations around their necks but no finger prints.



"There I was being all cool, bucking the digital trend and using other forms of instant photography when I stumbled across this, much to my delight (and confused looks from the non-nerdy one in the relationship). It is the empty cartridge from a pack of Fujifilm Mini Instax, and quite clearly shows it's cheeky little tongue sticking out.`I have also included a photo of what the box of the film looks like, the camera, and an example Instax photo using the empty pack as a handy frame, cos us what still use films also like to recycle stuff."



"In case you care I took the photos on an EOS 40D, which is alright I guess. I didn't scale them for you, although perhaps I should have, as they seem a little soft at 100%, but that's not helped by me using the 17-55 f2.8 wide open. If you're lucky there might be some EXIF data to get your liquid silk flowing, but I can't for the life of me remember if my raw converter keeps it when saving out to jpeg (I use Bibble for Linux, in case you're sad enough to care)" - Dave.

Two gadgets with FACES and a building that also has a face, all of which are in Kuwait

This was a very complex email. It contained a building with a FACE and two gadgets with FACES. We are unsure how to categorise it and as such have thrown all three in one post.

The third photo, of the coffee machine, works better as a Gadget with FACE if you ignore the submitter's "three eyes" suggestion and instead imagine the side screws are a more traditional two eyes.



"Here is my submission for a Building With a Face (multiple faces, really). It's the Fanar (yes) shopping centre in lovely Kuwait. Small eyes, wee button noses and huge mouths."



"Attached is a pic of my iron, also in Kuwait. A happy iron, I think."



"Attached too is a pic of a three-eyed coffee machine in my GM's office. I tried to take a pic of it 'eating' the sachet of delish espresso, but it sucked it out of my fingers, nearly taking the nails off. Incidentally, my GM is deserving of a place in your pantheon of exec types. No moustache, mind you, but a few of the (vaguely criminal-class type) further up the corporate ladder here are moustachioed..." - Andrew.

Gadgets with FACES #128: A smiling iron

Smiling because it's just been rubbing itself all over your girlfriend's skirt and enjoying the intoxicating fumes of nearly-molten polyester. It's even winking at her. Sick IRON FUCK.



"Thought you may like this for your collection. As I was looking through your photos, I could feel some eyes burning into the back of my head. Needless to say the iron was trying to look at my screen" - Adrian.

Gadgets with FACES #127: An electric thermometer

A man called "Joel" found this at his mum's house. You know you're bored at your mum's house when you start examining the backs of things. We suspect "Joel" also looked in the fridge on four separate occasions, despite not really being hungry and obtaining a precise mental image of the fridge contents on his first viewing.



Joel included the address of a semi-dormant blog in his email signature. It's about video games. We're not sure if he'd like people to visit it or not. But here's a link to it just in case.

Gadgets with FACES #126: The Team Grill barbecue

America's two main contributions to global culture are (a) MEAT and (b) SPORTS. So it's inevitable someone would have the idea of combining the two, as Americans also really like combining two things into one thing to make a new combi-thing.



It's a barbecue in the same colours as those worn by your "team". It sadly lost a couple of legs in a hunting accident and has had them replaced by wheels.

Gadgets with FACES #125: A Lesbian's Midea rice cooker

Photos supplied at 3264 x 2448 resolution and taken with a Samsung Digimax L85, a camera so alien we're going to have to Google it [30 seconds later] to discover it's not particularly impressive.



"It's some kind of rice cooker, possibly pig-themed. The face looks deliberate. I have no idea what the rules are for that, if any. It belongs to a lesbian, if that's any help" - Tim.



Yes, Tim, it was a big help. It's great knowing we have a reader who knows a lesbian with a rice cooker. Perhaps you could ask her what's the difference between a rice cooker and just putting a lid on a saucepan? We've always wondered.

Gadgets with FACES #123 and 124: Another heater and a hospital ceiling

Incorporating our very first CEILING with a FACE.

OPENING PREAMBLE:
"Hot on the heels of my incredibly successful Shanghai pictures on UKR, I now present my Idiot Toys selection I've been saving up. You think that gadget with a face #99 is good for an Argos heater? It ain't got nothing on mine. She's hot stuff alright, in 2 exciting poses..."



"1) Sexy asian spy/dominatrix..."



"2) Hot lips (or orange bucktooth depending on how you look at it). Well worthy of being Gadget with a FACE #100, don't you think?"



"Also, I think you have done Pairdeer batteries before (YES), but the one I took came out particularly lovely with a soft flash setting and I thought you'd appreciate it. And by appreciate, I mean it could appear in one of your generic round-ups if it's lucky."



"And fresh from my hospital visit in back in February (broken leg FYI), I present your very first CEILING WITH A FACE! There's no need to fear hospital visits any more with this goliath watching over you. Could this be a gadget too ? I mean, it does use electricity after all" - Martin B.

Gadgets with FACES #122: Turkish combi boilers

Three separate photos.



"Hi Idiot! I think these pretty much speak for themselves. The pictures are not bad either."



"I was going to say keep up the good work, but on second thought paying for bandwith seems more appropriate. Yours (not literally)" - Pingus.



We didn't need three separate photos.

Gadgets with FACES #121: A paperclip machine

We suspect it's manually operated, but there might be a battery in there somewhere. Or you could put a battery in with the paperclips.



"It's a robot which appears to be ready to vomit. I stole this from someone's Facebook page. Hopefully you're in the same network as this person and so can see it, or I suggest you join Australia for a minute if you really want to" - Bill.

Gadgets with FACES #120: The Tomo Therapy Hi-Art scanning thing

Poking out its big tongue to GOBBLE UP people who need brain scans.



Spit out that bit of gristle, mate. It's a tumour. If you must eat human flesh, you want the slow-roasted thigh of a German man you met on the internet.

Gadgets with FACES #118: The Rejuvenique RJV10KIT Facial Toning Mask Kit

If you're currently making a low-budget horror film using your mobile phone with you and the only two friends you've got playing all the roles...



FULL DISCLOSURE: This was submitted by a man pretending to be called "Andy" who says he sort of got the idea for it from here.



So our only role in this update was, once again, resizing the images. If you have any images you want resizing, get in touch.

Gadgets with FACES #117: A speed camera packing heat

FREEZE! Slow down to less than 30mph or PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE, you BMW-driving mo-fo!



Found somewhere on Amazon by a man who pretends to be called "John" on the internet. This, we suspect, is going to be considered the best of the lot when we eventually give up and look back on our lives with a sense of shame.

Gadgets with FACES #116: A 'worm' that probes radioactive pipes

Could also be a close-up of a robotic penis.



"I got into work at 940, made a cup of tea, sat down and immediately started browsing the internet, and what do I see on the BBC Scotland news web page? A horrified looking 'robotic worm' being forced to wriggle through radioactive pipes. It is treatment like this that will make them rise up and overthrow us. And it is treatment like this that will make them right to do so" - Barry.

A VERY INTERESTING "PS"
"PS: I have to use work email at work due to Gmail being blocked - don't hold it against me I work for an investment bank. I'm a miserable back office IT drone in Glasgow, not a richly compensated multi-millionaire in London, like that guy who is going out with Big Suse from Peep Show or whatever. Just the sort of person you would expect to read your website really. One of the gang in fact."

Gadgets with FACES #115: A two-way Kenwood vacuum cleaner

It is good to see our readers have their electrical items regularly tested. We don't need to lose any in accidents.



"A Kenwood 1400W vacuum cleaner. I don't know if this has appeared on Idiot Toys before, and frankly I can't be bothered to check your archives. What the Kenwood has over (some) other gadgets is that it contains two entirely different faces, depending on which way up you look at it. The picture I've sent features the cheeky, slightly evil face with the big forehead and eyebrows. But, cunningly inverted, it becomes a depressed face with a big chin. Multiple-Personality-Tastic."



"No doubt you'll check the EXIF data anyway, but it was taken with an Olympus FE-190. Not bad at photographing gadgets, surprisingly good at fireworks, but rubbish for people since nothing this side of a heavy Photoshop session can remove the horrific Red-Eye it puts on EVERYONE YOU PHOTOGRAPH" - Steve.

Gadgets with FACES #114: Some sort of stereo

Apparently, Daryl here owns a T-Mobile G1. We'd doubt that. We doubt any man who lives in a house with woodchip on the wall can afford the monthly contractual obligations that come with owning a G1.

Perhaps Samsung or NEC made a G1 in the late 1990s and that's what he means?



"This thing sits grinning at me every time I walk past it on our landing and I eventually snapped it with my G1" - DarlyB.

Gadgets with FACES #113: The underneath of Wii Fit

There IS something interesting about Wii!



"Look what I found lurking under our office Wii Fit (yeah, I know how obnoxious that sounds). Turns out Nintendo have been using this happy chap to drive more sales" - David.

EXIF VOYEURISM
Nikon D80. We need to start categorising readers by how good their cameras are.

Gadgets with FACES #112: A diagram illustrating an anode vacuum tube rectifier

Deliriously happy bespectacled mad German scientist with moustache (top) poking wires into the eyes and mouth of a sad test subject. It gets better the longer you look at it, which is rare for a picture on the internet.



"Here is an electrical diagram with a very sad face who might be vomiting. Maybe you'll find use for it. It came from here" - Aaron.

Gadgets with FACES #111: Cap'n Lamp

Rare full-bodied gadget, although his hands are MASSIVELY OUT OF PROPORTION to his arms, head and body. Unless he's just carrying some lampshades home from Ikea. They seemed smaller and lighter at the checkout.



"Not only does this fellow have a face... he has a whole body and lamp hands! I discovered him whilst looking for fun mid century things to spend money on. He lives in Seattle and I want to bring him home. Don't you think he'd make a great buddy?" - Erica.

Gadgets with FACES #110: A Titan 250GB SATA III SSD

Spotted by a "Brendan" who must be in the process of "speccing up" an almighty "gaming rig". Or perhaps he's just rich. Or maybe he has his own "tech blog" and has just written something proper about it. Could be anything. He might even be the MD of Titan doing a bit of PR on a dull Thursday evening.

Here's the photo before this descends into gay reader fan fiction.



A classic robot, with a slightly feminine parting. "CE" might be a good geek tattoo.

Gadgets with FACES #109: A Rapid Classic 1 stapler

It might be possible to reconstruct a likeness of the photographer by using the reflection in the lower hand grip.



"This fish-like faced gadget has an appetite as big as its mouth. Apparently it doesn't care what it eats as long as it's big, hence the small eyes. The eyes on the side of the head clearly indicate that we are dealing with a herbivore, which makes the enormous mouth a rare feature indeed" - Arend.

AN UNNECESSARY APOLOGY
"Sorry for the horrible quality of the picture. Given the shiny finish it was hard to keep both myself and the fluoresent lights off the picture."

Gadgets with FACES #108: A "white Darth Vader" electric heater

Here's a thrilling glimpse into the PARTY HARD nature of the life of one of our more socially adept readers. It's almost like you're there. And have friends. And went out on New Year's Eve.



"Hello. So we were in a taxi rank after a fun New Years Eve and we saw this little guy sat on a bench by himself. We soon got chatting and offered him a cigarette - possibly not a great idea with the heat he was generating. Anyway, he accepted. He looks like he has a white Darth Vadar face. Kinda. Perhaps you could make a new category called 'Gadgets that kinda look like they have a white Darth Vadar mask, but otherwise have no 'face', no matter how into pareidolia you are.' Anywho, I'm rambling far too much for 3 low-res phone pics, so I'm out."



"BTW, I was dressed as a cowboy, my friend a knight and his girlfriend Little Bo-Peep. I tried to get a bit of leg, but I didn't want to upset my friend so I hope you're okay with a foot and a bit of thigh. James (Repping the JPAG)" - James.

MOBILE PHONE CAMERA REVIEW
The file's EXIF data shows this was taken with a Sony Ericsson W810i, hence the way the shots are too blurry to identify the make and model of the device or get aroused by the foot and bit of thigh.

Gadgets with FACES #106: Amazing FLESH-EATING sunbeds

Robot designs for Transformers 2 revealed.



"Don't know if I sent this before - my stupid overpriced piece of shit Apple computer won't tell me..."



"Here's some pictures of sun-beds with faces. Does that count? Probably it does. Nearly everything seems to. They appear to be eating people. Usually people in bikinis. Attractive women types..."



"There's also a picture of a careful dentist cleaning it's teeth I think. Like when those little birds go in to clean crocodile mouths after they've eaten a sexy woman or stupid, drunk Australian."



"It's a MegaSun 6800 by the way."



"God knows I looked long and HARD for sexier sunbed pictures featuring the sun-beds which had faces until I stumbled into the Google Images 16 x 16 pixel icon images wasteland. Nothing. Cheers" - Jody.

JODY?
It's the male version of the name. We checked.

Gadgets with FACES #105: A coffee bean grinding machine

INTERNATIONAL Gadgets with FACES, no less, thanks to this intercontinental sighting from Minnesota easing us back into the face-on-a-thing spotting scene.



"This is a coffee bean roaster. This particular one is located in Golden Valley, Minnesota, and seems to enjoy his job, despite having lost an eye. Or maybe it's a monocle" - Bill.



It's probably a vent for the unprocessed beans to come down. We've just got back from Christmas. The magic's not there yet.

Gadgets with FACES #104: A Tenna TV Antenna

The subject line of the email claimed "Best Gadget with FACE ever" - and, although it isn't quite as good as this or this, it is a definite top five contender, particularly if you're a fan of the dog-like faces.



"I spotted this in the breakfast / DVD / pool table room at a budget hotel in Bangkok last week. It's a TV booster antenna with the face of a slightly robotic dog."



"As you can see from the photo of the box, it's a politically correct product - available in different skin tones. Imagine that!" - Paul.

iPHONE CAMERA ONCE AGAIN IMPLICATED IN SHIT PHOTO:
"Sorry about the quality of the photos, that's the combination of a crappy iPhone camera and cheap Thai whiskey."

Gadgets with FACES #103: Some cookers

There's a vaguely troubling "advertorial" feel to the accompanying words, but they're free words we didn't have to think about writing or typing then correcting, so we'll let it pass.



"Even though there is no Web Researcher to assist, I work as the Assistant Web Researcher at www.reevoo.com. During my assisting of aforementioned non-existent Web Researcher I came across this gourmand fellow. He is in fact the Stoves 600EF.

"Our site has impartial customer reviews, and, unsurprisingly given his large chin, he's rated as 'very poor for weight'. That said, the kitchen lovers seem totally taken by his manly good looks. Bill from London says he's 'Nice looking'. Maureen from Londonderry says he's 'easy to use, looks good, performs good' and Julie from Llanelli says of him 'good looks'!

"One anonymous comment says he certainly 'heats up very quickly' but also it's 'not easy to line up pointer'."



"He's doing much better than his buck-toothed friend the Hotpoint BS43" - Jon.

Gadgets with FACES #102: A transparent cassette tape

Not a boring old cassette tape, but a fancy and exotic transparent plastic one! Sent in by a "Wayne" who only offered "Robots have faces" as his accompanying text.



If you're old enough to remember the awesome excitement of transparent plastic tapes coming out, you're too old to be sat there with nothing better to do than read this.

Gadgets with FACES #101: A series of industrial plugs on a pedestrianised walkway in London

Back down to earth with a staggeringly mundane piece of gonzo face-spotting on the streets of the capital. You could've at least tried to get a bit of background life in the shot, Elliot. You know what we mean. Shoes. The shoes of business ladies or the tatty sandals of tourists.



"Found this on London's South Bank. Bad blue teeth. Cheers" - Elliot.

GIRL READER has idea for Gadgets with FACES #100: A Boynq Cubite PC Speaker SLASH USB hub

It's not that good a face, but let's do that patronising thing where we pretend something a girl's noticed is really good and interesting as it might lead to something else.

She's also foolishly given away her name and a vague estimation of where she lives, so what better way is there to celebrate GWF#100 than also celebrating a rocketing female readership and being able to imagine finding out where one of them lives?



IMAGINE A GIRL TYPING THE FOLLOWING:
"I'm your third (or second, is it now?) female reader. Congratulations! I found this cheeky little fellow on iwantoneofthose.com - after clicking through from your site. How pleasingly circular! He's a device called a Cubite and I've already forgotten what he does. Can't even read the buttons at this resolution. Hang on. Ah yes. Apparently he's 'the first computer speaker with an integrated USB hub'. At last that cubical space in my life is filled. None of his four mouths (or perhaps his single dotted-line mouth _ _ _ _) seem very happy about it though. Is this number 100? Do I get a prize?" - x Katy, Kentish Town.



Here's a lifestyle photograph of it on holiday in a posh hotel room, that looks like it might be in Hong Kong. The USB stick looks like a sex aid it's just been caught using because it thought you weren't coming back for a few hours.

Gadgets with FACES #99: An Argos Halogen Heater

For one initial cost of £12.99 you can have an Argos Halogen Heater with a face on the back of it, plus ongoing electricity costs of £30 an hour to run the thing. This update also doubles as a review of the camera quality of the Nokia N95 8GB, which has produced the following 1944 x 2592 image despite being half broken.



"This evening, as I was getting increasingly miserable about my lost youth whilst my sister described to me, in painful detail, via Skype, just how much fun she was having at university, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the BACK OF MY £12.99 ARGOS HALOGEN HEATER WAS LOOKING AT ME AND SNEERING CONTEMPTUOUSLY."

THE EMAIL CONTINUED
"Being a diligent Idiot Toys reader, I immediately reached for my broken Nokia N95 8G that I found in the mud at a music festival and doesn't work as a telephone but does (barely) work as a camera, and snapped a picture whilst it still gazed at me with its sneering, hoity-toity face."

AND...
"As you can see, it is looking down its nose at us, non 1200-Watt humans, with so much contempt it has even grown a little, taunting white Hitler moustache. It reminds me a bit of John Waters, the film director."

AND...
"Please accept this image as thanks for the link you provided to my blog, www.anewbandaday.com, on 'sister blog' UK:R ages ago. If it'll 'sweeten the deal' to get the picture on Idiot Toys I can get my girlfriend to press her boobs against it and then I'll take another picture. Not that I'm desperate. But they are big boobs. Love Loe" - Joe.

Gadgets with FACES #98: The Nokia 7310 Supernova DIY "Build" mobile

This is technically a Gadget with a FACE on the BACK, but we'll just throw it in with the rest so we can break the psychological 100 barrier next week.



He ought to be a bit happier than that, the ungrateful little shit. Most gadgets don't get attractive ladies lasered onto their foreheads.



And what the HELL is going on in that hideous background picture? Is that what Nokia is suggesting we all look like?