PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Another mature lady making very little effort

Blogger broke over Christmas, so we weren't able to fully unload our PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS work. Here's the last one - it really is the MD of the company in a Santa hat and her red suit jacket.

Hopefully companies will feel able to hire models again in time for Christmas 2009, otherwise it's going to be a long, miserable year with nothing to look forward to.



THE HARD SELL:
"Thanks to the grim economy, troop support is at an all-time low, and many soldiers may not get a holiday package this year. "Thousands of soldiers registered with our Foster-A-Soldier Program may be disappointed if support does not pick up," says Deborah Crane, president of popular troop support program Treats for Troops.

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Santa getting "checked out"

She'll he grabbing his sack and asking him to cough next. Definitely looks the type.



THE OFFICIAL EXPLANATION:
"Jane Sadler, M.D., family medicine physician on the medical staff at Baylor, checks Santa's heart rate during his physical at Baylor University Medical center at Dallas where he was declared fit for duty to make his trip around the world this year."

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: A lady wearing a nice hat for credit cards

This one's for Wirecard, which is some sort of virtual payments system. Again, the "credit crunch" has meant that instead of full "sexy santa" outfits, all we get this year is a woman in her normal work clothes in a hat.



Use that card to hire some proper models and red skirts next year, Wirecard.

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Something to do the with Mall of America

A budget-busting FOUR Santa uniforms were acquired for this shoot! Plus entry fees to the park, transport to get there, lunch for everyone and the photographer - times are clearly still booming at the Mall of America.



BECAUSE OF THIS:
"Santa coasts in to Mall of America with the world famous Radio City Rockettes to kick off their first ever North American tour in Minneapolis. Santa will welcome visitors starting today through Dec 24."

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: "Hunky Santa" will be appearing every Friday, Saturday and Sunday at the Beverly Center

Any American readers out there fancy doing us an on-the-spot report?



10megapixel photos of some salivating American-sized housewives would be ideal.



Nice little helpers. Not especially festive costumes, mind. More like Amsterdam Shop Window sex display than Merry Christmas.

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Susan (or maybe Monica) from Citrix Systems, Inc.

Hear that sound? The dull sound of something tapping on metal? It's not Santa, it's our fingers scraping the barrel DRY with this shamefully low-resolution picture of a woman who was made to wear a hat because it was late-November and they planned on sending out the press release in the first week of December.



SETTING THE SCENE...
"Citrix Online today extended Season's Greetings to customers and partners around the world, and announced its strong support for Santa Claus himself as he prepares for his annual ride to visit children everywhere and fulfill their Christmas wish. They are also well aware that the venerable St. Nicholas keeps busy in his home base at the North Pole the rest of the year too, working with his helpers from all over the world.

THE PROMOTIONAL PAYOFF...
"And while he sticks with his beloved reindeer and trusty sled to get around during the holidays, he can, just like everybody else, avail himself of technologies like GoToMeeting(R) from the Citrix Online division of Citrix Systems, Inc. (NASDAQ:CTXS), to collaborate online with his helpers in ways he never could before."

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: A warning regarding fire safety

This photo has been issued by the National Fire Protection Association. It's highlighting the fact that house fires are more commonplace over Christmas, probably because of wrapping paper lying about. You're meant to imagine that girl BURNING and therefore be a bit more careful with the matches.



Sick bastards.

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: HandyCane Christmas tree watering device

Amazing, this. It's a device specifically invented to assist in watering your Christmas tree. It's a bit like a watering can, or a saucepan, or a milk bottle, or a mug, or a [ANY VESSEL THAT CAN HOLD WATER].



They even threw the budget out of the window and registered a domain name for it. That's a long-term commitment to becoming a Christmas tree watering device millionaire.

Shame they didn't force her into a Santa costume and just told her to wear the most Christmassy shirt she owned, though. That's the "credit crunch" for you.

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Nicola McLean selling bras to a puzzlingly disinterested Santa

This is a "celebrity" called Nicola McLean in a bra. She was in something on the television set recently. One of those programmes.



She's much more suited to appearing in grainy video clips on the internet, though.



And on rotating stages with little windows around the edge for men to look through while reaching for the complimentary tissue.



And in hotel lobbies where rich businessmen demand cleanliness and discretion and don't mind how much booze you take out of the mini bar as the tab's being picked up by the Hamburg office and the whole stupid trip was their idea anyway.



She could also be the new face of Greggs.



She's probably lovely. Imagine the stick her dad gets from the other blokes at the garage.

PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS: Lita Ford, holding a guitar, wearing tight stuff and revealing her toes

During the Christmas period, so we can go somewhere else and do things that aren't staring at the internet for 14 hours a day, we've prepared a series of updates titled PROMOTIONAL CHRISTMAS - a collection of the finest promotional images to do with and featuring Christmas.

This is as close as we're getting to giving you a present.



Apologies for the unacceptable 600x886 resolution. It's all we could find. And this one is actually just a stocking filler - your proper present is coming later today.

WHAT'S IT FOR?

Lita Ford's Slinky Syren Latex Styles Give Twisted Sister the Real Glam Treatment in the Band's New "I'll Be Home for Christmas" Video

"Celebrated rocker Lita Ford teams up with Dee Snider, lead vocalist for bestselling heavy metal band 'Twisted Sister,' in a duet for the band's just released video 'I'll Be Home for Christmas' available at www.myspace.com/litaford. Ford gives the rendition true glam treatment in her smooth, shiny, skintight latex clothing from Syren Couture (www.syren.com), the world's leading latex fashion house."